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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you shouldn't go to a birthday party you're not invited to

166 replies

Robinnaaa · 05/03/2017 09:25

I paid for my sons birthday party at a soft play centre. The soft play don't do exclusive hire parties so you have the party at the same time as the soft play is open.

They close the soft play centre at 5:30pm and that when the children's character (well a member of staff dressed as one) come out and dance with the child/play games with them and give out prizes.

At 5:30pm everyone left as thats the closing time. Some people take about 15 mins to leave. Except one mum with what looked like a three year old child.

She went to put his coat on when 'chase' from paw patrol came running out to greet the children. Her son almsost died from excitement!

He came running over and danced, sang and played party games with our birthday party group!

After chase left she made him out his coat on and left.

But I thought this was quite cheeky! He wasn't invited to the party and I'd paid for that entertainment. She also should have left at 5:30pm as that the closing time of the soft play.

Everyone was wondering who this random child was and he won the pass the parcel game and got the toy!!!!!

His mum didn't seem to see any issue and sat looking proudly as he joined in the fun!

I've name changed for fear I'm being truly awful here. But I was slightly miffed!

AIBU?

OP posts:
TreeTop7 · 06/03/2017 00:15

Something similar happened to us at soft play several years ago. The staff (mainly sixth formers working part time) didn't seem to have the confidence to clear everyone out.

feckitt · 06/03/2017 00:47

Duh!

confuugled1 · 06/03/2017 01:13

when ds1 had his 5th party it was at a soft play place - I didn't really know everybody, there were some parents there, some not, but on a saturday afternoon so lots of others and several other parties going on.

when they gave the meals out there weren't enough which I was a bit hacked off about and there wasn't a space for ds2's highchair to squeeze in, which had been previously organised, so again, was hacked off. I had named the party bags and there was one child that was asking for one that didn't get one - but I knew I'd got everybody's there so didn't really think twice about it as I assumed that dh had already given it to her - he had given some out, I'd given some out. Wasn't until the end of the party when they charged me for an extra meal and looking at the photo of the event and ds1 asking who the little girl he didn't recognise was, that we realised that the little girl had gatecrashed the party.

Still no idea if she was supposed to be in a different party or if she'd done it on purpose - another friend had a party there a while later and said a little girl had tried to join in with the meal bit, but she didn't have the right colour wrist band so they sent her back to the main soft play bit - they didn't have colour coded wrist bands when ds had his party so it did make me wonder if they had been introduced for a reason!

Glad to hear that the PTP present was handed back to your son, although awkward as he didn't really get the thrill of winning it if that was what Chase had intended.

I think it would be worth having a word with the soft play centre to explain what happened, that you were expecting them to ensure that all the non-party people were out and to have sorted this out rather than put you in the position of stressing about non invited people gate crashing the party. Or even had a word with you beforehand to tell you to point out any extra people to a member of staff at the start of the party bit so the staff could have dealt with it and you wouldn't have had to stress about it. Won't help you but might be better next time around!

EmeraldScorn · 06/03/2017 01:16

You are being bloody ridiculous and so is anyone who agrees with you; A private party or not I could never be annoyed at a child wanting to join in at a party!

One of my nephews (He's 2) loves Paw Patrol and if we had been at the soft play centre and he had seen "Chase" I'm sorry but nothing would have kept him from interacting with the character - It would be like dangling a diamond in front of a jewellery thief!

An innocent child doing a harmless thing isn't something to be annoyed about and I'm 100% certain that his mum was caught up in her child's excitement and had no intention of appearing "cheeky".

Sunnydays365 · 06/03/2017 01:20

It made the child's day seeing paw patrol, you know life is too short to be all about us,sometimes it's nice to be nice.let it go and be happy you made that child's day

Pottedplants · 06/03/2017 01:43

I am imagining the delight on that little face when Chase appeared. I'd have let the three year old meet Chase and dance around for awhile. When the games started, I'd have probably gone over to her and said it was a private party but hoped her little guy had enjoyed Chase. Or I'd have been very mean about it and asked a staff member to go over to her after the meet and greet Chase part cause there isn't any way I'd want to have responsible for wiping what must have been the biggest smile from that little boy's face

If she was looking proudly on, there is a strong possibility that the child was her PFB and she got caught up in the moment of seeing him so happy. That is forgiveable. She will probably cringe when she thinks back to it in future years when something similar happens at her kid's party :).

frogsgoladidahdidah · 06/03/2017 03:26

Don't sweat the small stuff... he was three years old and excited about Chase. Really not worth even thinking about.

dowhatnow · 06/03/2017 06:57

You are being bloody ridiculous and so is anyone who agrees with you; A private party or not I could never be annoyed at a child wanting to join in at a party!

Tell us when your child's next party is, so that we can all come and join in. Yours is the bloody ridiculous comment.

IamFriedSpam · 06/03/2017 09:00

EmeraldScorn I think your comment is a bit OTT, most people said they wouldn't mind the excitement about the character but surely you wouldn't let your toddler join in pass the parcel? Mine might have thrown a massive wobbly but I would just taken him out anyway.

Hopeless29 · 06/03/2017 09:37

I'm cringing because, if a party was at a soft play centre, I would presume any children that were at the children's centre at the time could join in.

Not eating food etc. But with the games and dancing I'd definitely have let my children join in with any wouldn't have thought twice.

God, I'm so socially awkward! 😂

Floggingmolly · 06/03/2017 09:44

Didn't the centre have a party room, op? Most of them have a separate section where the food is served; the character should have been in there; not the main part?

Floggingmolly · 06/03/2017 09:45

And they're usually very hot on different wristbands for party children...

Seems like a comedy of errors Hmm

schoolwoestoday · 06/03/2017 10:00

Our soft play does character parties just for fun so I'm wondering if the Mum thought it was one of these, realised it wasn't after hence giving the present back.

TwoDogs9 · 06/03/2017 10:07

Totally agree with @emeraldscorn - it's a three year old child FFS! Lighten up. It's not like the Mum planned it, she was in the process of getting him ready to leave. I don't see that it caused any harm and you got the present back!! I would have told her that he was welcome to keep the present!

BorrowedHeart · 06/03/2017 12:57

I'm sorry but, why exactly are you complaining?

TheRealPooTroll · 06/03/2017 13:48

I think since the op paid for the party for her child and their little friends it would have been nice for one of them to be the pass the parcel winner rather than some random child they didn't know. the mother obviously gave the present back because the child didn't want it - it was likely some bit of tat from the Poundshop. Winning is more exciting than the actual prize. If it had been a Paw Patrol toy no doubt the 'baby' would have been too excited to give it back and it would have been 'mean' for the op to expect her to.

CaraAspen · 06/03/2017 13:52

The point is the mother let this child join another child's party without so much as a by your leave! You people who are trying to make the OP feel guilty - about her perfectly acceptable reaction - should back off.
Your child has to learn that not everything to yours.

NavyandWhite · 06/03/2017 13:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CaraAspen · 06/03/2017 13:54

TheRealPooTroll

I think since the op paid for the party for her child and their little friends it would have been nice for one of them to be the pass the parcel winner rather than some random child they didn't know. the mother obviously gave the present back because the child didn't want it - it was likely some bit of tat from the Poundshop. Winning is more exciting than the actual prize. If it had been a Paw Patrol toy no doubt the 'baby' would have been too excited to give it back and it would have been 'mean' for the op to expect her to.

Exactly. But they know this and we know they know this. Tiresome people.

CaraAspen · 06/03/2017 13:56

Corrected:

CaraAspen

The point is the mother let this child join another child's party without so much as a by your leave! You people who are trying to make the OP feel guilty - about her perfectly acceptable reaction - should back off.
Every child has to learn that not everything is his or hers to take or to take part in.

Jeez

NavyandWhite · 06/03/2017 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

miserableandinpain · 06/03/2017 14:03

Dont be so precious. The present was given back. I wouldnt have minded at all if one 3 year old wanted to join in. In our community if friends other children regularly tag along. Cousins. Neighbours kids. Brothdrs sisters etc. Friends of friends. Not much community spirit left is there...

TheRealPooTroll · 06/03/2017 14:04

If the mother had the brass neck to shoe horn her kid into a strangers party because he liked the character could you see her making him hand over a toy he'd taken a liking to?

NavyandWhite · 06/03/2017 14:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealPooTroll · 06/03/2017 14:14

So you say hello to the character and then say 'we need to go now'. You don't stay for a the whole of a strangers party! Chase isn't going to take the kid home - they have to leave at some point.