To think you shouldn't go to a birthday party you're not invited to

[Robinnaaa]

I paid for my sons birthday party at a soft play centre. The soft play don't do exclusive hire parties so you have the party at the same time as the soft play is open.

They close the soft play centre at 5:30pm and that when the children's character (well a member of staff dressed as one) come out and dance with the child/play games with them and give out prizes.

At 5:30pm everyone left as thats the closing time. Some people take about 15 mins to leave. Except one mum with what looked like a three year old child.

She went to put his coat on when 'chase' from paw patrol came running out to greet the children. Her son almsost died from excitement!

He came running over and danced, sang and played party games with our birthday party group!

After chase left she made him out his coat on and left.

But I thought this was quite cheeky! He wasn't invited to the party and I'd paid for that entertainment. She also should have left at 5:30pm as that the closing time of the soft play.

Everyone was wondering who this random child was and he won the pass the parcel game and got the toy!!!!!

His mum didn't seem to see any issue and sat looking proudly as he joined in the fun!

I've name changed for fear I'm being truly awful here. But I was slightly miffed!

AIBU?

The sense of entitlement exuded by such mummies is breathtaking. Don't quite know what that makes you, the supporters of the mummy in question...

The sense of absolute apathy combined with righteous indignation on the other side is also rather breathtaking.

Happily I think the vast majority of people will be much closer to the middle, either mildly miffed and let it go, mildly miffed and ask the mother to remove the child.
Most of us would struggle to give a shit in either direction, I'm guessing.

God help the child when they don't get invited to a party in preschool (though the mum might just rock up anyway!). I don't get this thing of pandering to kids to the extent you protect them from every small upset. A 3 year old can cope with the word no every now and then. They might be a bit upset for a few minutes bit that's life. Learning to deal with small upsets is a good skill to have and 3 yr olds are more than capable of learning if they are allowed.

Excited to see the character doesn't justify staying for whole thing though. If you wouldn't do it I guess it's because you'd have more manners.
Mumsnet is a funny place at times. People who post wondering if they should ask if a younger sibling can attend a party get an absolute mauling yet having your kid join in a complete strangers party is ok?

You meanie!!!!
What a nice experience for the little boy who joined in. It didn't cost you any more for him to have that fun.

Well no harm other than the fact the birthday child had to have someone he didn't know at his party (whether he liked it or not). Neither he or his friends got to win the game - which kind of matters to kids. And the 3 yr old learns that other peoples wishes don't matter, he can rock up at a strangers party and basically do what he likes because his mum is afraid of upsetting him or causing a scene. Doesn't effect my life in any way but it's poor parenting.

I couldn't ask the child to leave or talk to the Mother.
I'd be too worried about embarrassing her .
I'm actually extremely assertive- but something about the child being so excited would have taken over.!
A tricky situation.
I'd forget it now op

She gave the present back and her son had a lovely time. to be honest in the scheme of things it's actually quite sweet! Think of it as putting some kindness into the world!

Well it wouldn't matter would it? So long as a 3yo didn't have to do something they didn't want to do.
This is what people mean about being entitled. I'm sure the child did have a great time taking over a strangers party and his mum may well have loved watching him enjoy himself. But he wasn't invited!
There are plenty of things that would have given my young kids great joy that I wouldn't have just allowed them to do. There was a huge playhouse/slide thing in one of my neighbours front gardens for eg that they liked the look of. But we didn't know them. Maybe I should have just let my kids in to have a play? And plenty of times they wandered into parties at Playcentres and I took them out. They might have been disappointed for a bit but it was someone else's party and they hadn't invited them. You can't just overide other peoples wishes because you want your child to have a good time. If the op had said it was ok for the child to stay then fair enough but she didn't. The mum is teaching the child to put his needs above others. Even at someone else's birthday party. I dont think it's sweet at all. It was selfish and she's teaching her child to be selfish. If the mum was bothered about intruding on the party she'd have asked if it was ok to stay.

I wouldn't have let my kid join in pass the parcel at a private party. That's just bonkers.

This is OP's first and only post, strange that?!

She was very cheeky, why did you not say to her,excuse me it's a private party, do you mind. I would not have minded him meeting the character, bit to join in the party games, and mum not doing anything.