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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you shouldn't go to a birthday party you're not invited to

166 replies

Robinnaaa · 05/03/2017 09:25

I paid for my sons birthday party at a soft play centre. The soft play don't do exclusive hire parties so you have the party at the same time as the soft play is open.

They close the soft play centre at 5:30pm and that when the children's character (well a member of staff dressed as one) come out and dance with the child/play games with them and give out prizes.

At 5:30pm everyone left as thats the closing time. Some people take about 15 mins to leave. Except one mum with what looked like a three year old child.

She went to put his coat on when 'chase' from paw patrol came running out to greet the children. Her son almsost died from excitement!

He came running over and danced, sang and played party games with our birthday party group!

After chase left she made him out his coat on and left.

But I thought this was quite cheeky! He wasn't invited to the party and I'd paid for that entertainment. She also should have left at 5:30pm as that the closing time of the soft play.

Everyone was wondering who this random child was and he won the pass the parcel game and got the toy!!!!!

His mum didn't seem to see any issue and sat looking proudly as he joined in the fun!

I've name changed for fear I'm being truly awful here. But I was slightly miffed!

AIBU?

OP posts:
littlefrog3 · 05/03/2017 12:13

Bit cheeky. No harm done though. Maybe let the people know who runs the parties.

AndNowItsSeven · 05/03/2017 12:16

I think you are a bit mean, the child was three and it didn't cost you any extra money.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/03/2017 12:19

So would all if you really have let your child do this on the pretence they were just a baby or it doesn't cost the parents any extra or to save yourself dealing with a tantrum?

I'd not have said anything to the child or parent a three yr old won't know it's a private party etc

But there's no way I'd have let my kids intrude like that.

Even when I had to take dd2 to parties I'd always take food fir her ajd take her out fir a walk or whatever to keep her put the way of the games etc as it wasn't her who'd been invited and u would never presume someone wouldn't mind if she went and joined in.

Coconut0il · 05/03/2017 12:23

I agree with a pp that the soft play place should organise this better. No announcement that the place was closing, bringing the character out while people are leaving, not checking the children are with the party all sounds a bit disorganised.

Personally I wouldn't have minded one three year old joining in. I would feel differently if it was a big group but just one? Not worth worrying about. I don't think I would've taken the prize back off him either. Not his fault his Mom let him stay.

CountClueless · 05/03/2017 12:28

If the OP saw the child there, saw him sit down for the game, saw him win the game etc etc....and said absolutlely nothing about it, then she IBU.

If a random kid wanders into your childs party and joins in, you either let them or you ask the parent to remove them. OP did the former, so has no cause to complain about it afterwards.

ALittleMop · 05/03/2017 12:34

pfft
he didn't eat the food and you didn't have to pay for him
so what
I'd not have let my kid do it but given poor stage management from soft play place I'd not be bothered if someone else did

TheRealPooTroll · 05/03/2017 12:37

Only in mn is a 3 yr old described as a baby! And I feel sorry for kids who's parents won't tell them they need to leave somewhere for fear of a tantrum! You are teaching then they can have whatever they want so don't complain when they expect it.

Rachel0Greep · 05/03/2017 12:41

I'm just picturing a little fella seeing a character, and being so excited Grin aww.

User090902138758934 · 05/03/2017 12:43

This must be a reverse

User090902138758934 · 05/03/2017 12:44

I.e. you're the mum of the 3 year old and with the drip feed about giving the present back you're wanting everyone to say you weren't BU

Floggingmolly · 05/03/2017 12:45

No, he's not a baby. And he shouldn't have been there, absolutely. But what sort of grinch would deny a pre schooler a little dance with a larger than life TV character?
Op describes him as "nearly dying with excitement". How dog in the manger to tell him to feck off, it's only for all the other children, not him??
That said, if it had been me with the 3 year old I'd have been very aware that we shouldn't have intruded, so I'm kind of on the fence...

DontTouchTheMoustache · 05/03/2017 12:48

I think your being a bit uptight OP. The mum should have taken him when you started playing pass the parcel but if I'd been in your shoes I wouldn't have minded at all and would have probably just found it quite funny.
Just take some pleasure in how much joy you brought that little boy.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/03/2017 12:51

Exactly real

Only on MN would it somehow be OK to gate crash parties you aren't invited to, take scooters etc at the park that aren't yours, ignore your child in waiting rooms whike they chat away to all the patients and then have the audacity to call anyone who doesn't think they are amazingly cute, include them in Ice cream rounds, let them test drive a new bike and shove over to make room at a table for them is somehow a mean spirited bitch fir wanting to upset their "baby"

Fanciedachange17 · 05/03/2017 12:52

Yes the Mum was a bit rude in staying but I'm with the posters saying so what it was only a 3 year old who was very happy and God knows the world needs more kindness and happy people. She did return the present and I'm sure she probably apologised at the same time so I think you are making a drama out of it. Was your child upset?
I have had more issues with some Mums inviting themselves to stay at Dds parties and we're talking ages 8 / 9 and 10 here and at our small home and sitting expecting to be fed and entertained. Like you I didn't have the bottle to sy anything but dripped endlessly afterwards!

IamFriedSpam · 05/03/2017 12:53

No way wouldI let my DS join in with the pass the parcel the character thing I'd probably let him see then rush him out but honestly if I was hosting the party I'd probably just be mildly amused at the cheek of the little boy's mum. Doesn't sound like a huge deal.

LucklessMonster · 05/03/2017 12:54

No one told her it was a private party and she needed to leave.

Then of course you're being unreasonable. What is it with all these MN posters who stand by placidly and watch things happen then come online to whinge about them?

IamFriedSpam · 05/03/2017 12:58

To be fair Luckless I think it would be fairly obvious that the soft play centre wasn't randomly organising a game of pass the parcel after closing time!

gamerchick · 05/03/2017 12:59

ah it probably made his day. She didn't keep the prize.

Is that what it's like now, feeling cross that an unintentinal bit of joy had been passed on? Confused

AndNowItsSeven · 05/03/2017 13:00

Giles , no , in real life I would have gone home and chatted to my eldest dd about how there was this little boy about three ." it was so cute, he was so excited to see Chase he screamed with delight, bless him his little face was priceless. Then he must have thought he was in the party and joined in the games. He even won first prize which made me smile. Bet it made the little boys day. " Etc Etc.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/03/2017 13:06

None of that changes the fact though that the mum was cheeky as fuck..

I mean seriously who does that?

RiversrunWoodville · 05/03/2017 13:07

I have a 2 year old who would probably have nearly died with excitement to see the character then had a meltdown but tbh I would just have done the rugbyball run of shame because I would have known she shouldn't have been there.
On the reverse if it was her party I probably would have allowed him to join in especially if Dd got the present back but I'm a sucker for a wee happy face (although I'd be hiding from the big scary character but that's a whole other thread)

Twogoats · 05/03/2017 13:07

This is why we need to bring back capital punishment! Selfish mother needs hanging!

Cantusethatname · 05/03/2017 13:08

One three year old child.

puglife15 · 05/03/2017 13:08

Did you tut your way through the whole of the Wedding Crashers OP?

Yes it was a bit cheeky but so what? No harm done.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/03/2017 13:10

It's not about the kid though is it.

It's more about adults who think that it's up to everyone else to accommodate their child so not as to have to deal with a tantrum or move away from whatever they we doing in order to sort out their child.

That's not ok.

I mean at least ask ffs.