Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

To think you shouldn't go to a birthday party you're not invited to

166 replies

Robinnaaa · 05/03/2017 09:25

I paid for my sons birthday party at a soft play centre. The soft play don't do exclusive hire parties so you have the party at the same time as the soft play is open.

They close the soft play centre at 5:30pm and that when the children's character (well a member of staff dressed as one) come out and dance with the child/play games with them and give out prizes.

At 5:30pm everyone left as thats the closing time. Some people take about 15 mins to leave. Except one mum with what looked like a three year old child.

She went to put his coat on when 'chase' from paw patrol came running out to greet the children. Her son almsost died from excitement!

He came running over and danced, sang and played party games with our birthday party group!

After chase left she made him out his coat on and left.

But I thought this was quite cheeky! He wasn't invited to the party and I'd paid for that entertainment. She also should have left at 5:30pm as that the closing time of the soft play.

Everyone was wondering who this random child was and he won the pass the parcel game and got the toy!!!!!

His mum didn't seem to see any issue and sat looking proudly as he joined in the fun!

I've name changed for fear I'm being truly awful here. But I was slightly miffed!

AIBU?

OP posts:

Olympiathequeen · 05/03/2017 10:41

I think you were a bit cowardly and should have told the mum it was a private party. Our soft play regularly does special events of this type that all children can attend so maybe she thought it was one of those?

Unless of course she was there when a big cake came out and everyone sang happy birthday? In which case she is a bit bonkers.

dowhatnow · 05/03/2017 10:46

I'd have let him have a few minutes then asked them to go.

sonjadog · 05/03/2017 10:47

I think as you said nothing to her, she assumed it was okay that her son stayed for a little while, and she did give you the present back. I don´t think she did anything really wrong. If you didn´t want them there, then you should have said something.

chipsandpeas · 05/03/2017 10:49

maybe the soft play people need to look at bringing the character out a bit later to avoid things like this happening in future

melj1213 · 05/03/2017 10:55

TBH I think while YABU about letting the 3 year old have a few minutes with a favourite character, the venue are actually being more unreasonable by putting party groups in the awkward position of potentially having gatecrashers because they don't make any announcements or make sure that everyone except the party guests are left in the venue before they bring them out.

On party days they should be making announcements that the venue is closing and anyone except the private party guests need to be out by 5:30, just like any other day. If there are no announcements or anything and if the staff aren't doing the usual "closing" procedures - dimming lights/tidying up/cleaning etc - due to the party then it could be very easy for a parent to lose track of time and assume they werent' closing yet and take their time over leaving.

EB123 · 05/03/2017 10:56

Aww my boys would be so excited so have seen Chase. She wasn't deliberately staying for the party, the character came out as they were getting ready to leave and her little one got overexcited. I wouldn't have minded especially as she gave the prize back.

Onthecouchagain · 05/03/2017 11:07

You really begrudge a 3 year old having a good time?
Please try and be a better person.

Onthecouchagain · 05/03/2017 11:08

Why is anyone not happy they made a little persons day better! I can't believe some the mean spirited comments.

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/03/2017 11:13

Why is anyone not happy they made a little persons day better! I can't believe some the mean spirited comments

Cos parenting your own kids is hard enough without being made to he responsible for those belonging to compete strangers too.

The mum was there the responsibility and the city sequences were on her. op has no obligation to have to worry about another child who's not part of the party who has the parent there with them.

Now it wouldn't have bothered me personally. Amd I would think have said anything and probably would a given him a slice of cake or a balloon or something.

However the mother was very inconsiderate and should have parented her child and left regardless of how upset he may or may not have been.

PuppyMonkey · 05/03/2017 11:20

My DD had a job as a party host at one of those hideous places once, she'd have taken charge of the situation and made sure all the right kids were in the party zone. Not rocket science is it?

CaraAspen · 05/03/2017 11:30

She had a cheek.

Originalfoogirl · 05/03/2017 11:36

Not sure why anyone is blaming the soft play. They didn't know he wasn't supposed to be there,

If I'd been so annoyed that a 3 year old was gatecrashing a party (which, is frankly weird). I'd have asked the mum to leave. I suppose the reason you didn't, was because you would have felt mean and petty.

It only annoyed you, because you let it. She maybe misunderstood the situation. It might have been the first time she's been to a soft play and thought that sort of things happened. You say it was clear it was a private party, maybe it wasn't clear to her. Surely it's better to ask her to leave, than to seethe about it and then rant about it on the internet.

londonrach · 05/03/2017 11:39

Why didnt you tell her it was a private party?

SummerHouse · 05/03/2017 11:41

I think you did the right thing op. I.e let it happen and be a tad miffed. Exactly what I would have done.

Bluntness100 · 05/03/2017 11:44

Cos parenting your own kids is hard enough without being made to he responsible for those belonging to compete strangers too.

Floggingmolly · 05/03/2017 11:46

The mum letting him have a go at pass the parcel was cheeky, certainly, but letting him dance with the character didn't hurt anybody, surely?
He's only three...

TheRealPooTroll · 05/03/2017 11:46

The mum was cheeky. A little dance and photograph with Chase I wouldn't have minded but when the party games started she should have explained it was someone else's party and taken him out (tantrum or not). It's quite common around here for there to be soft play parties going on while the centre is open to the public and of course most kids try an wander in but their parents remove them as they should. There are lots of things little kids want that they can't have - they get over it.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 05/03/2017 11:49

Definitely cheeky but if her son is anything like my DS, who wakes the dead once in full screaming mode, (NB: we've never gatecrashed someone's party though!) maybe she was waiting for the right moment to leave with him so he didn't disturb your party too much if he took umbridge to it OP? It does sound like that's the most likely scenario, especially given she gave you the toy back.

haveacupoftea · 05/03/2017 11:50

Sorry but I think its hilarious that a random 3 year old joined the party 😂 the more the merrier and all that. Relax!

Gileswithachainsaw · 05/03/2017 11:52

blunt

But people have called her mean or mean spirited and that she's heartless to object and asked if she would rather he had to he removed kicking and screaming.

She is not responsible fir his feelings/keeping him happy

TheRealPooTroll · 05/03/2017 11:54

He wouldn't have been that disturbing if she picked him up and walked straight out of the door though.

Funnyonion17 · 05/03/2017 11:56

No harm done really, I think yabu apart from the pass the parcel. She should have really let him watch character for a minute and made excuses to him and left.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 05/03/2017 12:06

Its a 3 year old baby. Don't be so bloody petty.
A child sees something fun of course they're going to make a bee line.
Its not like it cost you anymore money, is it

Violetcharlotte · 05/03/2017 12:13

I think you need to chill out about it! It made a 3 year old child happy, without impacting on your child's party at all.

CoolCarrie · 05/03/2017 12:13

The child was only 3, are you seriously annoyed because a wee boy had a great time with a character he loved! Did that really spoil your child's party at all? I think it is petty of you to begrudge one very young child a nice time.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7