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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we can't have a pet-sitter when DSD is staying in our house?

230 replies

steppinstone · 21/02/2017 09:11

Just arrived on holiday (which I organised) and DH announces that he's agreed that dsd (who is 18) will be staying in our house while we are away!

I had asked him to explain to her that it wouldn't be appropriate because I've arranged pet sitters - and because she has said she really wants friends over while we are on holiday. She is extremely unreliable and hasn't spent the night on her own before.

I have now had to call the pet sitter to cancel because I think it's just too WEIRD having an adult in the house who can't look after the pets. DH is worried because he says DSD is too immature to look after the pets.

I am really furious that he has just landed this on me now when we could have talked about this last week and got DSD prepared IF we agreed that she could stay.

Aibu? I just want to go home tbh.

OP posts:
Somerville · 21/02/2017 09:12

Are th pet sitters a paid service or some other family or friends?

KoalaDownUnder · 21/02/2017 09:13

Eh? I'm a bit confused! Where does she usually live? And how many pets/ what are they?

On the face of it, he's being v unreasonable. If she's old enough to stay home in her own, she's old enough to look after pets!

KoalaDownUnder · 21/02/2017 09:14

And no, if I was the pet-sitter I would not be happy about this.

WeddingsAreStressful · 21/02/2017 09:14

I really don't understand why 1) you had to cancel the pet sitter but 2) why your DSD can't look after the pets (what kind of pets/how many are there?). So you're both unreasonable. You sound a bit mean.

Seeline · 21/02/2017 09:15

What sort of pets too? Ones that need feeding once/twice a day, or regular cleaning out, or regular walks etc

Rugbyplayersarehot · 21/02/2017 09:15

She's an adult who can stay on her own at night and can't be trusted to look after a pet? Christ what a princess.

Of course he should have discussed it with you.

VikingVolva · 21/02/2017 09:15

Why on earth did you cancel the pet sitter?

All you had to say was 'DSD might be there, but we think she'll be coming and going so we still need you to check every day'

Can you get the service reinstated?

Original poster
steppinstone · 21/02/2017 09:15

The pet sitters are acquaintances doing it as a favour.

Dsd normally lives with us but is with her mother every other weekend and I was under the impression that DH had arranged for them to spend the week together.

OP posts:
Rugbyplayersarehot · 21/02/2017 09:16

And the pet sitter may charge you anyway because of the short notice cancellation.

Original poster
steppinstone · 21/02/2017 09:16

We had a paid sitter for our last holiday but she refused to come back because dsd was there a couple of times. I can totally understand why that seems odd to her.

OP posts:
Rugbyplayersarehot · 21/02/2017 09:16

Do you have exotic pets?

Original poster
steppinstone · 21/02/2017 09:17

We have cats and hamsters and fish

OP posts:
KoalaDownUnder · 21/02/2017 09:17

Is the pet-sitter booked to live in your house or just drop by?

CookieLady · 21/02/2017 09:17

So, he thinks she's capable of staying on her own and having friends over but incapable of looking after the pets? What a twit.

SaucyJack · 21/02/2017 09:18

What sort of pets do you have? Does your DSD like them?

I'm struggling to see why you would be unreasonable on the face of what you've posted here.

Gallavich · 21/02/2017 09:18

Oh so they are friends doing it unpaid? Yes then I get why it would be weird if they turns up and found a fully grown adult in situ not looking after the pets.
I think you shouldn't allow her to stay there alone if she's that irresponsible.

bettytaghetti · 21/02/2017 09:18

Surely if DH thinks she's too immature to look after the pets, then she's too immature to look after herself, no? I would reinstate the pet sitter so at least you know there's a responsible adult looking out for your house.
If it's any help to reassure you, we just left our 18 yo DS for the first time and with the dog & everything was fine (although he had plenty of instructions for everything before we left, so your DH was bad not to give you warning).
Do you have any security cameras you can check?

Birdsgottaf1y · 21/02/2017 09:19

""If she's old enough to stay home in her own, she's old enough to look after pets!""

Not everyone is reliable. Even though I've got family that can help, I pay for sitters/overnights.

You shouldn't have cancelled the pet sitters, but your DH is massively at fault, here.

He needs to fix this by asking her exactly what her plans are.

If she doesn't know, then she leaves and reinstate the sitters.

Original poster
steppinstone · 21/02/2017 09:19

The pet sitter was going to drop in twice a day.

TBH I wouldn't be so possed off if he had spoken to me about it first. He's just sprung it on me. Now I'm worried she's going to have parties and god knows what.

OP posts:
SnugglyBedSocks · 21/02/2017 09:20

paid sitter refused to come back that's very odd. I don't think I'd use them again anyway as I'd be wondering what they had to hide. (Totally misses point of the thread)

KoalaDownUnder · 21/02/2017 09:21

It is fairly pathetic that an 18-year-old can't be trusted to look after cats, hamsters and fish, tbh.

I'm with you.

Birdsgottaf1y · 21/02/2017 09:21

X post, it's not the fish and over feeding that you need to be worried about, the others are fairly simple.

He needs to get on the phone to her and sort it out.

Original poster
steppinstone · 21/02/2017 09:23

The paid sitter was great but clearly hated the idea that she was really being paid to keep an eye on a teenager! (Even though she wasn't supposed to be there.)

No security cameras.

OP posts:
Bringmewineandcake · 21/02/2017 09:24

Yanbu - he's clearly left it until now to tell you because he knew it was a problem! Depending on where you are in relation to home, I'd probably want to go home in your situation as I'd be too pissed off to relax. Hope you manage to work past it though!

Trifleorbust · 21/02/2017 09:27

Why would a paid sitter refuse to come back because your DSD was in the house? Hmm

Anyway. Pets are the red herring here. You don't want her there.