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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wonder if all men are just mardy arse spoilt bastards??

253 replies

ricecrispies16 · 27/12/2016 23:49

Or is it just mine?

He's grown up around women - his mum, softer than soft - wiped his arse for him up until 2 years ago when I met him - 3 sisters, all of which worship the ground he walks in and he can do no wrong because he's the baby of the family... well somehow now he's my baby to deal with and I can't be arsed with it. I can't work out if I'm just being ignorant or he really is just a spoilt twat?!

My 9yo nephew is here with me for a few days starting today - going through an awful lot at home, social services involvement etc dp comes home all is well until he gets up to do something, comes back a few mins later and nephew has come back to the lounge and sat in the seat dp was in. I hear dp asking him to move, I ask what's up, dp says it's nothing. I go back out and when I come back nephew has moved and dp is sat there. I asked if he'd made nephew move, he says again "I was sitting there" so I explain that he wasn't sat there so nephew chose to sit there, he shouldn't have made him move. Dp then gives a loooooong sigh and starts to move saying here you sit there if it's really that important. Then falls out with me.

I just feel like it's as though he thinks children are below him. This isn't the first of incidents like this.

Was it me being unreasonable?

OP posts:

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/12/2016 23:51

It's not a man thing. It's an arsehole thing.

GreenTureen · 27/12/2016 23:53

I think YABU. Seems like a massive over reaction from you IMO. If i'm sitting down and nip to the loo or kitchen and return to find one of the dc has nabbed my seat, they're asked to move too.

PenguinsandPebbles · 27/12/2016 23:53

Agree it's an arsehole thing.

QueenArseClangers · 27/12/2016 23:54

What MrsTP said. With great big fucking Christmas bells on.

treaclesoda · 27/12/2016 23:54

No, you're not being unreasonable. He was being childish. It's tedious in an adult, although in fairness it's not always men who are big overgrown children.

PovertyPain · 27/12/2016 23:56

It's hardly a big deal if he asks a child to move. I know your nephews going through a lot but it's not as if your DH was nasty to him. You were the one that turned it into an issue. As for the title, given what you say about the females he grew up with, I'd say it's more appropriate to ask why so many women baby men and regress to 1950s housewives?

AmeliaJack · 27/12/2016 23:56

Nope, not all men.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 27/12/2016 23:56

I agree that this is a massive over reaction. I have My Seat too (although I wouldn't be rude to a child over it)

sooperdooper · 27/12/2016 23:57

Unless your nephew sat there on purpose to be annoying (which I'm guessing he didn't) your bf is being an arse - would he have said the same to you?

RebelRogue · 27/12/2016 23:58

Well you can keep him as your baby,try to "educate" him and make him grow (but who the fuck has time and patience for that?) or you know,count your loses and find someone that you can respect and see as a partner and equal.

WorraLiberty · 27/12/2016 23:59

Yes all men are mardy arse spoilt bastards.

Just like all women love spa days

All black people love fried chicken

All fat people are unhappy

All old people are grumpy

FWIW, if I got up for a few minutes from my seat and came back to find one of the kids/nephew/niece in it, I'd ask them to move too.

And I wouldn't expect my husband to get himself involved.

How can you moan about the fact you've chosen to marry a childish man, when you treat him like a child?

littlepeas · 27/12/2016 23:59

I think you've overreacted a bit. If I've been sitting somewhere and get up to go to the loo/whatever, I'd be a bit disgruntled if one of my dc had jumped into my spot. I'd probably make them move. The backstory you give doesn't really tally with this incident - I have read much worse on here. You obviously want to protect and cocoon your nephew, which is lovely, but I don't think your DP has done anything too terrible tbh.

ilovesooty · 28/12/2016 00:00

No. Some men are. Some women are too.

PovertyPain · 28/12/2016 00:01

On the rare occasion I sit in the other room and my youngest is sitting in a particular seat, I ask her to move. She thinks it's funny. I'm a creature of habit.

nicenewdusters · 28/12/2016 00:03

All the people I've ever known who've had "their" seat/chair, and who insist on claiming it, have been annoying childish bores.

If your dp was mine I'd have said the same as you.

HemanOrSheRa · 28/12/2016 00:03

He's an arsehole. He needs to get out or pull his big boy pants on and step up if your nephew, who is under SS supervision, continues to come and stay with you.

Ask yourself, what sort of vile shit speaks to a child like this?

sandgrown · 28/12/2016 00:03

OP. I have one the same. He also has three sisters. He makes DS move if he is sat in "his" seat. On Christmas Day a big sulk because I would not make him a big cooked breakfast. I was prepping Christmas dinner for 10 people!

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2016 00:04

And does this mean you weren't even in the room at the time?

"I hear dp asking him to move, I ask what's up, dp says it's nothing. I go back out and when I come back nephew has moved and dp is sat there."

So you purposefully came into the room to stick your nose in?

yougetme · 28/12/2016 00:04

I cant see that your DP has done anything wrong. He left his seat for a few minutes and someone (age and relationship irrelevant) sat in it.He asked the interloper to move so he could reclaim his seat and this was amicably agreed - presumably since there was no shouting or obvious disagreement. Then you come into the room and decide that your DP was wrong.

Why wasnt your nephew wrong for taking someone elses seat?

Maybe you just don't like your Dp and you're looking for a reason?

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2016 00:05

Ask yourself, what sort of vile shit speaks to a child like this?

Jesus Christ and I thought the OP was over reacting......

GreenTureen · 28/12/2016 00:08

what sort of vile shit speaks to a child like this?

Er...what? Did I miss a big chunk of the thread? The op said I hear dp asking him to move and that her dnephew moved.

Jellybean83 · 28/12/2016 00:10

Doesn't everyone do this?

I'm forever shifting DP and DS off of my seat ( providing I had been sitting there and just got up to do something), they do it to me too if I pinch their seat.... we must be a family of assholes!

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2016 00:10

I know some people post 'LOL' and without actually meaning it

But I actually did laugh out loud at 'vile shit'

Original poster

ricecrispies16 · 28/12/2016 00:10

I just don't agree with his approaches to children so maybe I'm extra sensitive. Why should my nephew move? He went to the lounge, chose a seat and sat in it. There were other seats available for dp. I perhaps am being sensitive but like I said, it's the way he is sometimes I feel like I'm always on alert. His dad is the same to dps nephew, treated like they should obey. Really bothers me

OP posts:

PovertyPain · 28/12/2016 00:10

Gee thanks Nice.

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