To wonder if all men are just mardy arse spoilt bastards??

[ricecrispies16]

Or is it just mine?

He's grown up around women - his mum, softer than soft - wiped his arse for him up until 2 years ago when I met him - 3 sisters, all of which worship the ground he walks in and he can do no wrong because he's the baby of the family... well somehow now he's my baby to deal with and I can't be arsed with it. I can't work out if I'm just being ignorant or he really is just a spoilt twat?!

My 9yo nephew is here with me for a few days starting today - going through an awful lot at home, social services involvement etc dp comes home all is well until he gets up to do something, comes back a few mins later and nephew has come back to the lounge and sat in the seat dp was in. I hear dp asking him to move, I ask what's up, dp says it's nothing. I go back out and when I come back nephew has moved and dp is sat there. I asked if he'd made nephew move, he says again "I was sitting there" so I explain that he wasn't sat there so nephew chose to sit there, he shouldn't have made him move. Dp then gives a loooooong sigh and starts to move saying here you sit there if it's really that important. Then falls out with me.

I just feel like it's as though he thinks children are below him. This isn't the first of incidents like this.

Was it me being unreasonable?

My dc have no attachment to any toys, but they could if they wanted to of course - it's nothing we have influenced, they have access to plenty of them but just don't care. I don't think anyone would want to share my pants but i wouldn't care if they did - dh and i often share our toothbrush tho. With a 4yo a 2yo and a newborn there's no chance of sex but we do that in a different wing if we'd get a chance - so that's quite private.

I suppose we are quite eccentric, maybe i'll start favouring seats. I can just imagine DH's face if i said he was sitting in my seat.

he'd probably just look confused and move in a distracted 'no one tells me nuffin' way.

Apologies OP i suspect my agreeing with you may have damaged your case rather than support it.

You share toothbrushes?

Doesn't no privacy and no attachment to anything a precursor to hoarding later in life though?

I have seen the Royle family and i certainly wouldn't want my family modelled on that. I always found it horribly depressing how unpleasant they were to each other. I thought the dad was a horrible bully.

I wasn't for a moment holding that up as an example of perfect family life. However it is a good example of a household where everyone has their own spot.

I think it's not being allowed privacy or attachment that might influence hoarding. I've always been allowed it, just thought it was a bit overrated (both dh and I are only children). The dc will of course have their own space as they get older and it's there now if they want it. Ds1 is very resistant to his own space. We have been trying for 3 months to get him to have his own room.

And yes, if we use each other's bathrooms then we might, or when we go away we often only pack one.

Anyway, enough about my peculiarities. :)

Everyone knows not to take my seat.

It has a table right next to it for my chargers, phone, hand creams and all sorts of stuff I'm too lazy to keep getting up for.

If anyone sits in it I will politely ask them if they mind swapping.

I thought everyone had their seats.

Koala I could not live like you,but you sound pretty fun.amd funny

The Royle Family is a long way from my upbringing, but I'm amazed anyone can watch it without appreciating the warmth and love that pervades it. My family, upper middle class, was impeccably polite (DH is sink estate working class) but far more disfunctional in many respects.
I'm amazed how good tiny children seem to be at perceiving threat or its absence. My DH seems to intimidate some adults who don't know him, he's not polished and is big and a bit battered from top level amateur rugby, however mites seem to immediately ascertain that he is the right person to approach for the buckling of errant shoes and other tasks. The "Oy, shift" would be uttered with mock stern gravity, I've never known a child be scared by him, nor have I seen how he would manage the "No!" Of Koala's scenario.

You need to be careful here. some men never grow up nd therefore see boys as rivals. you cannot have children with such men - their jealousy makes family life impossible. ditch him now uf you want to have children

Christ Rice, I bet you wish you'd never asked.

I have regretted coming onto this board on more than one occasion, as it just ends up in an argument.

I think this is the worst board for advice. I have had some really fab advice but also some abuse which is one of the reasons I changed my username.

I wish you well, and an uneventful rest of the holiday season.

Haven't read the whole thread but we were brought up to move if we had hopped into an adults seat the minute they got out of it. Same applies here with my dcs. People round and short of seats? DCs sit on the floor.
In a car? Dcs sit in the back of adult requires the front.
In our house it's called manners.

It's a subconscious man thing to get the child to move. I thought that should've been obvious to all. You then belittled him by attacking his behaviour in front of the child, making him annoyed.

This post from you was more a result of the fact that you are realising you don't like other points about his character.

If you love him, love him. If there are things you think he should change, let him know. But be subtle, or he will think you are trying to be superior. Women can lead by example and are indeed fantastic at it, but many men are notoriously slow at getting the messages.

If you are both prone to getting the hump there will be fireworks so go careful.

Bloody hell in this house if you get up and leave a warm seat you would have to argue with one of the dogs/cats if you wanted it back, I just sit back down where there's a spare seat! My oh hasn't got "a seat" cuz he spends most of his time in his "office" so has no say on who sits where lol

I have 'my seat' in my house. I have a bad back & have cushions arranged to support me. I don't expect anyone to sit in my seat. I have enough seats for other people to sit on!
He didn't shout or swear at the kid & I think this is probably the last of the annoying shit op dp has done for her to think he's spoilt and selfish? ??

This sounds like it's been blown up out of all proportion, however, the way you talk about your partner, I really would question if it is the right relationship for either of you.

YANBU. Your DP sounds awful, treating your nephew so bad knowing he is going through a troubled time at home. He is insensitive and self centred.

My children definitely get turfed off 'my seat' as it has all the stuff I use on the table next to me. My husband has 'his' seat too. If we have guests we don't make a huge fuss but I do direct them gently to another chair if it is at all possible. My kids just automatically move if they our sitting in our chairs, no fuss, no problem. If they have friends over, they are far more likely to say, "Oh that is Mum or Dad's chair," than we are but we don't make them move. I don't think your nephew will be severely damaged by being asked to move but I do think that arguing in front of him is wrong. Surely, you could have left it and then given your views to your OH later. If you do have your own children together, you will have children who can run rings round you whilst you both argue the toss.

It was his spot! Is he Sheldon?

When I was growing up, my father had a preferred seat in the living room. If he walked into the room, I would have to get up so he could sit there. I thought this was fairy standard. Did this not happen to anyone else? It used to annoy me but I thought it was fairly standard. Perhaps not. Might to have a retrospective word with him

He has taken dnephew into his home as well a lot of people have a favourite TV seat I think it's ok really xx

I think you making an issue of it and DH giving his looong sigh will have made your DN more uncomfortable that being asked nicely (which I assume he probably did as DN wasn't upset) did.

Given that DN is going through it a bit, I think you should probably conduct squabbles out of his earshot.

*than