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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wonder if all men are just mardy arse spoilt bastards??

253 replies

ricecrispies16 · 27/12/2016 23:49

Or is it just mine?

He's grown up around women - his mum, softer than soft - wiped his arse for him up until 2 years ago when I met him - 3 sisters, all of which worship the ground he walks in and he can do no wrong because he's the baby of the family... well somehow now he's my baby to deal with and I can't be arsed with it. I can't work out if I'm just being ignorant or he really is just a spoilt twat?!

My 9yo nephew is here with me for a few days starting today - going through an awful lot at home, social services involvement etc dp comes home all is well until he gets up to do something, comes back a few mins later and nephew has come back to the lounge and sat in the seat dp was in. I hear dp asking him to move, I ask what's up, dp says it's nothing. I go back out and when I come back nephew has moved and dp is sat there. I asked if he'd made nephew move, he says again "I was sitting there" so I explain that he wasn't sat there so nephew chose to sit there, he shouldn't have made him move. Dp then gives a loooooong sigh and starts to move saying here you sit there if it's really that important. Then falls out with me.

I just feel like it's as though he thinks children are below him. This isn't the first of incidents like this.

Was it me being unreasonable?

OP posts:
LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 28/12/2016 00:54

Wow OP - so you are sexist and believe that children are equal to adults?

You are quite the charmer Hmm

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2016 00:57

I don't think the OP has insinuated that at all Daisy, although I do wonder what the fuck SS involvement has to do with her DP asking someone to move from his chair in his own home.

Then again, given how ridiculous the OP has made herself sound in her thread title, I'm not surprised she should come across as ridiculous in other ways too.

TheWoodlander · 28/12/2016 00:58

People really do that? Make people move from a seat because they were sat in it first, some undefined time ago?

Grin I thought that was a "Friends" joke.

OP, imo YANBU. Well bloody mean to make a child move from a seat because he thought it was "his" Hmm

Daisyfrumps · 28/12/2016 00:59

We'll have to see Worra :)

And of course I don't agree with the sexist title either..

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2016 00:59

I still maintain that turfing anyone out of a seat simply because you want it, is selfish 'mardy arse' behaviour.

And I would agree with that too, but that's not what happened.

He took someone else's seat, he was asked to move, he moved, end of story.

Or at least it would have been if the OP hadn't have got herself involved in what wasn't her business.

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2016 01:00

People really do that? Make people move from a seat because they were sat in it first, some undefined time ago?

It was a few minutes....

RebelRogue · 28/12/2016 01:01

Gotta love the emotive language ... "made him move,was told to move,was turfed out,refuge" etc. When what probably happened was
Oh: hey kid mind if we swap seats?
Kid:nope.
The end.. or it would've been.

Daisyfrumps · 28/12/2016 01:03

People really do that? Make people move from a seat because they were sat in it first, some undefined time ago?

Apparently so and it's news to me! I'm not sure what the exact time limits are though - if you're gone for more than 10 mins do you forfeit the seat? Or is there something I could put on it to claim it forever as mine? Perhaps a tasteful lacy doily thing .

Cushion anyone?!

To wonder if all men are just mardy arse spoilt bastards??
Daisyfrumps · 28/12/2016 01:06

He took someone else's seat

I think the problem is the fact that the DP saw it as his seat. This imo on it's own regardless of everything else is unreasonable.

TheWoodlander · 28/12/2016 01:08

News to me too, Daisy. That's it now - I'm having a permanent "mum seat" now - I was clearly there first. Wink

How very strange - you just sit somewhere else, don't you? Well we do, anyway.

Duck90 · 28/12/2016 01:09

Poor nephew, he probably doesn't need to feel he is the cause of an argument.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 28/12/2016 01:09

DaisyShock I need that cushion!

Daisyfrumps · 28/12/2016 01:13

His and her's? Grin

To wonder if all men are just mardy arse spoilt bastards??
Daisyfrumps · 28/12/2016 01:15

How very strange - you just sit somewhere else, don't you? Well we do, anyway.

Yes - yes you do. I'm honestly trying hard to think of anyone IRL who would ask me to move from their recently vacated chair...

Maybe the cat, but then she'd just pile on anyway.

CherryChasingDotMuncher · 28/12/2016 01:18

At least it wasn't like at my SILs when she once told her mum to bring a dining chair through to sit on - there were no spaces, but the dog had a seat! Her mum gave her DD a dirty looked and ordered the dog off the seat and plonked herself down. SILs face was priceless Grin

HemanOrSheRa · 28/12/2016 01:20

I am still very much bemused by why a grown man would have caused such a ferfuffle by a visiting 9 year old boy sitting in his seat Confused.

Oakmaiden · 28/12/2016 01:50

Totally bizarre.

I turf the children/teenagers out of the chair I want to sit on if they have the temerity to sit there. If there aren't enough chairs to go around then I make them sit on the floor.

They are much more able to get up and down off the floor than me.

I guess "respect your elders" isn't a thing any more. Do children actually get asked to show respect to ANYONE any more? Or are we all too busy treating them as equals... wanders off muttering

TheWoodlander · 28/12/2016 01:58

Unless OP only has 1 seat in her lounge, I doubt that was the case Oakmaiden. This thread is making me laugh. OP I seriously think yanbu - your dh was being an arse.

Yes, maybe turf a child off a seat for grandma, turf the dog off a seat for whatever, but to do it because it's "my seat, I was sat there a few minutes before you even came into the room" - just no.

Daisyfrumps · 28/12/2016 02:00

No, Oakmaiden, children often don't respect their elders when they're acting like toddlers illogical selfish autocrats.

JinnanTonik · 28/12/2016 02:05

I have 'my seat' the DH has his, however eldest and his girlfriend stayed for a few days, she sat in MY seat and made herself comfy!!! Do you know what I did?

I sat on the other sofa and didn't really have an episode about it!! If all some people have to worry about is some bizarre 'Goldilocks' MY seat palaver we are in a sad state of affairs!

....and FWIW OP you seem to have a lot more 'stuff' going on than some seating arrangements! You seem to be treating your DP like a child as well!! Stop acting so precious around the DN, he's had enough fakery!

scaryclown · 28/12/2016 02:13

ehywould you shift someone off somewhere they are comfy unless you are a fucking mental territorial weirdo?

HemanOrSheRa · 28/12/2016 02:28

Daisy I think the whole premise of the OP is lost.

BitOfFun · 28/12/2016 02:37

"He's grown up around women - his mum, softer than soft - wiped his arse for him up until 2 years ago when I met him"

Is this literally true?

kali110 · 28/12/2016 07:59

Yes yabu, you made an argument over nothing, no wonder the poor kid felt uncomfortable being in the middle of it.
If you'd said your dp dragged him out of the seat or screamed at you'd have had a point, but just asking him to move? Confused

Catlady1976 · 28/12/2016 08:09

O dear I must be one too. I am always asking my kids to move if they sit in my chair. Must be a back story op.

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