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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be utterly fucked off that MIL has put her foot in it

160 replies

Slarti · 25/12/2016 10:22

MIL bought DS9 and DS4 new bikes for Christmas. Well, it would be more accurate to say she paid for new bikes. She got her son (my BIL) to actually make the purchase (fair enough as he gets a discount) and then asked me to collect them from the shop yesterday (not something I was chuffed about as I had a million and one things to do, had to borrow a car as mine was in the garage, and didn't have anywhere to hide them at ours). Ended up taking them to my DM's who is bringing them up later today along with her own presents.

MIL has just been round and told us how disappointed she is that the bikes weren't here when DS9 and DS4 woke up. I told her she should have brought them herself then. Honestly I wasn't in the mood to be made to feel like I'd done something wrong when I'd actually done more with her gifts than she had. She replied "I didn't want them to be from me, I wanted them to be from Father Christmas." DS9 looked up at her a bit WTF - he has had a few moments of doubt this winter but last night and this morning was fully enthralled in the magic, and now she's just dropped that clanger. Unphased she simply pointed at DS4 who was oblivious to it all as he was playing with his new toys and said "He doesn't know." Oh, well that's alright then if you've only given it away for one child.

I took her to one side and reminded her that DS9 still believed and to try not to give the game away. Her reply was "well he'll have to find out soon." Not your fucking decision though is it?! Angry

So AIBU to be utterly fucked off with her attitude and her quite possibly giving the game away to DS9. I'm aware that he was having doubts and that this may have been his last year of believing so I may be a bit U but if anything that made me want to savour the magic even longer and I've got that WTF look of his playing through my head and feel like my heart broke a little bit seeing it. Sad

tl;dr

MIL ruined Christmas

OP posts:
cherrycrumblecustard · 25/12/2016 10:24

No, she's not ruined Christmas. I must admit I agree with her re Father Christmas. But anyway - she's got them new bikes. That's a big present!

Grilledaubergines · 25/12/2016 10:26

She's out of line.

Why does he need to know soon? What utter crap.

HateSummer · 25/12/2016 10:27
Hmm

Honestly, stop being a drama queen. Your Christmas isn't ruined. He's 9 years old ffs. I agree with your mil.

I hope they have fun with their new bikes.

limestonehoney · 25/12/2016 10:29

YANBU

Original poster
Slarti · 25/12/2016 10:30

My tl;dr was tongue in cheek. I know Christmas isn't ruined but I do think being so tactless around children re father Christmas is out of order.

OP posts:
DailyFail1 · 25/12/2016 10:31

You sound like a selfish cow from this post tbh. Your mil got them bikes and you haven't stopped moaning since. Next time get the expensive gifts yourself.

monkeywithacowface · 25/12/2016 10:32

Christmas isn't Ruined! Yes she's been a bit of a knob if she wanted the bikes there she should have helped arrange it. DS realised Santa wasn't real on Christmas Day a couple of years back because he noticed I'd used the same tags for Santa as from us. Ooops! He wasn't traumatised or upset and tells it as a funny story every Christmas now.

Wolfiefan · 25/12/2016 10:34

Wow. They got bikes. Lucky kids.
So what you had to pick them up? It's hardly her fault you didn't have a car.
I'm amazed your 9 year old still believes.

StStrattersOfMN · 25/12/2016 10:35

I'm with you, they should be allowed to enjoy the magic for as long as possible. Absolutely not for MIL to spill.

If DS asks, you could always try telling him that Granny wanted to pretend FC had brought them, silly Granny, FC sorta stuff out himself. BUT - this is why it's only ever been stockings from FC, otherwise how can you explain the disparity between different childrens' Christmases? Plus, I think us poor parents deserve a little bit of credit for Christmas too.

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 25/12/2016 10:35

She hasn't ruined Christmas.

I agree with you that she needs to be more circumspect as to what she says in front of the kids.

But she bought your kids a very generous present and your post reads like a litany of gripes against her.

Do you generally get on with her?

StStrattersOfMN · 25/12/2016 10:35

*FC sorts, not 'sorta'. I am most emphatically not down with the kids.

Fairylea · 25/12/2016 10:36

Mumsnet seems to have this thing at the moment that the minute a child turns 8/9/10 they stop believing. Well lots don't. Even if they hear it from someone at school they tell themselves it's rubbish if they still want to believe. Telling a child the truth about it all is down to a parent and a parent alone and I would be utterly fucked off too op.

I'd be very annoyed with your mil. You went and got the bikes, your mum is bringing them over later. That's fine and enough. If your mil wanted them their when they woke up she should have at least made it clear.

cherrycrumblecustard · 25/12/2016 10:36

I'm probably going to get flamed, but honestly I think believing in Santa / FC for anyone over the age of six is bizarre. I just don't understand at all why parents insist on it. It's just odd!

cherrycrumblecustard · 25/12/2016 10:37

Sorry, Fairy, not aimed at you!

Lilaclily · 25/12/2016 10:38

I agree with you op

She wanted all the glory of giving them new bikes but didn't actually want to buy them, collect them, wrap them etc

pixie32 · 25/12/2016 10:39

Christ dailyfail... bit harsh.😒 OP Did you want mil to buy the kids such a big present? Are the bikes their main thing they're getting? Is that why she wanted them to be from Santa? If not she needs to bugger off! She shouldn't be making any decisions re the kids believing in Santa, that would piss me off too... try and forget about it and have a lovely day. You don't sound like a cow at all, just concerned that your kids have nice Christmas memories. X

Lilaclily · 25/12/2016 10:39

Cherry , really? ! how odd not to have the magic for a few more years if possible

StStrattersOfMN · 25/12/2016 10:40

Why? Nine is still a child, I'm all for letting children be children for as long as possible, they have quite enough stress and pressure in their lives, let them have a bit of wonder and magic too.

cherrycrumblecustard · 25/12/2016 10:40

I just don't think it's magical at all - to me, it is akin to believing Peppa pig is real, or something. Fine for preschoolers but peculiar for children almost ready for secondary!

8DaysAWeek · 25/12/2016 10:43

YANBU

Just because she got them expensive gifts doesn't mean she can be excused from being so blasé about giving the game away ON XMAS DAY, no less. Her attitude is poor. And if she so badly wanted them to think they were from FC she should have specified that when she instructed asked you to pick the bikes up.

Don't know why people think just because she spent money on her grandchildren she's allowed to behave how she pleases.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 25/12/2016 10:44

YANBU, nor fo you sound like a selfish cow Xmas Hmm
Your MIL on the other hand sounds lazy, she did fuck all with the gifts aside from pay & instruct others on what to do...

cherrycrumblecustard · 25/12/2016 10:44

"Nine is still a child"

Of course. I have a nine year old myself, and a nearly-three year old. Both of them are children but they definitely don't enjoy the same things. My two year old is still a baby really but I wouldn't keep her in nappies once she had been potty trained (not yet happened!) and I wouldn't buy her 'baby books' now she can follow a basic story.

It's not as if once they learn about Santa they are going to be sent down the mines: just acknowledging that different things are appropriate at difference stages of childhood. I'd no more let my nine year old believe than I would wipe his bottom or change his nappy and I find it peculiar when people do.

RichardBucket · 25/12/2016 10:45

YABU, ungrateful, and brattish.

randomeragain · 25/12/2016 10:45

sell the bikes and the MIL and give to charity

VeryBitchyRestingFace · 25/12/2016 10:46

I believed in Santa at 9, Cherry. I must have been a right weirdo. Xmas Hmm

And I don't know where you are, but where I come from kids don't go to secondary until age 12.

Where you that kid who ran around at school Xmas parties shouting ha, ha, ha, that's NOT really Santa, that's just the caretaker in a suit?