To be utterly fucked off that MIL has put her foot in it

[Slarti]

MIL bought DS9 and DS4 new bikes for Christmas. Well, it would be more accurate to say she paid for new bikes. She got her son (my BIL) to actually make the purchase (fair enough as he gets a discount) and then asked me to collect them from the shop yesterday (not something I was chuffed about as I had a million and one things to do, had to borrow a car as mine was in the garage, and didn't have anywhere to hide them at ours). Ended up taking them to my DM's who is bringing them up later today along with her own presents.

MIL has just been round and told us how disappointed she is that the bikes weren't here when DS9 and DS4 woke up. I told her she should have brought them herself then. Honestly I wasn't in the mood to be made to feel like I'd done something wrong when I'd actually done more with her gifts than she had. She replied "I didn't want them to be from me, I wanted them to be from Father Christmas." DS9 looked up at her a bit WTF - he has had a few moments of doubt this winter but last night and this morning was fully enthralled in the magic, and now she's just dropped that clanger. Unphased she simply pointed at DS4 who was oblivious to it all as he was playing with his new toys and said "He doesn't know." Oh, well that's alright then if you've only given it away for one child.

I took her to one side and reminded her that DS9 still believed and to try not to give the game away. Her reply was "well he'll have to find out soon." Not your fucking decision though is it?!

So AIBU to be utterly fucked off with her attitude and her quite possibly giving the game away to DS9. I'm aware that he was having doubts and that this may have been his last year of believing so I may be a bit U but if anything that made me want to savour the magic even longer and I've got that WTF look of his playing through my head and feel like my heart broke a little bit seeing it.

tl;dr

MIL ruined Christmas

I don't think anyone here is saying that children should be "forced not to believe" when they turn 8, 9, or whatever. What we are saying is that this the usual time to start questioning is about 6 or 7 - and most children will "choose to believe" partly because they don't want to lose the magic (and the presents ).

Personally, I think the MIL was well out of order and dropped a huge brick. But, again, it was bound to happen sooner rather than later.

I also think that many parents want their children to "be just children" because they have a view of childhood that is a bit, well, rose-tinted.

6 or 7?? No way!

My nephew is 6 and has been suspicious about Santa's logistics all year. He'll probably ask next year.

Children are different, of course, and other children may realise later. But by 8 and certainly 9 they are already pretty suspicious, even if they don't say anything.

LadyintheRadiator
Nothing to do with the thread but I assume your username is from Eraserhead? The lady in the radiator song is one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen on film.

I am genuinely mystified by the ferocity of feeling about children believing something which isn't a belief system - it's a lie.

There are plenty of things that would distress me about my children's beliefs or lack of them. If they became climate change deniers or started thinking Nigel Farage was a jolly good chap or suchlike. Father Christmas...really, no.

by 8 and certainly 9 they are already pretty suspicious, even if they don't say anything.

DS9 is definitely suspicious, so I'd be lying if I said I was certain he was a believer. That's besides the point though as MIL shouldn't have said anything in front of a possibly-believing 9 year old and a definitely-believing 4 year old.

Irrespective of whether people think 9 is too old to still believe in Santa, it's not MILS place to get to decide when someone else's children find out about Santa though!!! I'd be fuming in your shoes OP.

That's besides the point though as MIL shouldn't have said anything in front of a possibly-believing 9 year old and a definitely-believing 4 year old.

It's not exactly besides the point, because a 4-year-old wouldn't realise, but a 9-year-old certainly will. And if it's not a bigmouthed granny, it'll be something else that will spill the beans.

But yes, the MIL was a complete idiot.