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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend asked to 'borrow DP'

264 replies

Ohdearducks · 21/12/2016 00:26

Tell me please AIBU to be fucking livid with my 'friend'? she's been having problems with her EXP over their 3 DCs.
She called me this evening to ask if DP will be busy on Saturday (err it's Christmas EveHmm) and could she 'borrow' him. I asked her what for and she very brazenly told me that she's having problems with the kids Dad and could he come over for when he picks up the children as their dad is racist and will hate the sight of a 'big black bloke' in his house! She seemed so smug and pleased with herself about the idea. I was so stunned I couldn't speak for a minute, I then just very curtly said 'DP is busy on Saturday and put the phone down.'
I've now had two texts asking "are you ok?" and "are you ignoring me?"
I'm trying to resist the urge to call her back and tell her she's a racist, using twat!
What the fuck?! She wants to subject my DP to a possible racist verbal attack and have her kids witness that all for the sake of winding the guy up? Angry

OP posts:
Yoarchie · 21/12/2016 00:29

No wonder her ex ditched her

Timeforteaplease · 21/12/2016 00:29

YANBU
That's just an insane request.

zzzzz · 21/12/2016 00:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dailyfailplagiarism · 21/12/2016 00:31

Grim and stupid. Not a good mix.

Bloodybloodyheckers · 21/12/2016 00:33

I was soooo ready to say YABU as I "borrow" people to do suff I can't if necessary.

But then I read on and HOLY SHIT Shock

Electrolens · 21/12/2016 00:35

Ugh. Right reaction OP. I would suggest calling her in the new year to lay out exactly how racist and offensive she has been, or just continue to ignore. Definitely block and ignore over Christmas and have a lovely time. YADNBU

DoloresTheRunawayTrain · 21/12/2016 00:38

Racist, immature and toxic behaviour to boot. Trying to goad her ex into making a scene for shits and giggles.

Original poster
Ohdearducks · 21/12/2016 00:38

I'm just agog at the audacity of her, I'd been on the fence about cutting her out for various other reasons but that just sealed the deal!

OP posts:
EnidButton · 21/12/2016 00:40

Wow. Shock I guess that's that friendship over then.

Resist the urge, there's no arguing with stupid. It'll only piss you off even more. Don't let her spoil your Christmas.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 21/12/2016 00:41

Ugh ! Yanbu . Really poor Behaviour - let her slide and when you feel ready tell her why (in your own time )

Tartyflette · 21/12/2016 00:43

Frankly I would not have liked a request to 'borrow' DH even if it was just to do a bit of DIY or whatever but that is truly appalling. She sounds horrible.

SuperRainbows · 21/12/2016 00:48

I'd have nothing more to do with her. It might slowly dawn on her how appalling her suggestion was.

Original poster
Ohdearducks · 21/12/2016 00:50

She's sent a third text;
"I take it I've upset you somehow? not sure what the problem is but I'll leave you to it for now, will try and call you tomorrow."

She actually has no clue what she's done wrong! And is seemingly annoyed at me! I don't know wether to laugh or cry Grin

OP posts:
dangermouseisace · 21/12/2016 00:51

I can't believe that she actually thought that was ok!! What planet are some people on?

shinynewusername · 21/12/2016 00:53

Ask her if she could nip over on Christmas day as your MIL hates the sight of a selfish, insensitive, racist moron Wink.

Original poster
Ohdearducks · 21/12/2016 00:55

Thanks for your replies everyone, I was so shocked at her confidence in asking I wondered if I'd somehow fallen in to a parallel universe where this sort of shit is perfectly acceptable.

OP posts:
Rockingaround · 21/12/2016 00:55

I couldn't even sit on that OP even tho the sensible, reasonable thing is to ignore her I'd have to text back and say "no, please don't call me, I'm deeply offended you wanted to use my DH in such a cruel way, let's not make any plans to meet up again" then ignore her

KnittedBlanketHoles · 21/12/2016 00:59

That is poor. Are you thinking of telling your dh or soaring him from her ignorant and hurtful thoughts and actions?

cakedup · 21/12/2016 01:02

Fucking unbelievable. Would definitely be the end of the friendship for me.

Original poster
Ohdearducks · 21/12/2016 01:02

I'm tempted Rockingaround she needs to know how unacceptable her behaviour is doesn't she? I think I'll sleep on it tonight though, I don't trust myself while I'm this angry not to absolutely savage her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Ohdearducks · 21/12/2016 01:04

I've told him, he's quite thick skinned and won't take it to heart, he just looked perplexed and said 'well that decides it then!"

OP posts:
jeeperdoo · 21/12/2016 01:17

This is so wrong it's almost laughable. She wants to piss off her ex by making him think she's got herself a "big black bloke"?!? What the screaming fuck.

Ask her if she could nip over on Christmas day as your MIL hates the sight of a selfish, insensitive, racist moron wink.
omg this made me laugh, for real

If I were your fellow, I'd be tempted to dress myself up in some kind of stereotypical gangsta or homeboy outfit and slouch around over there juggling knives and making comments about my little slice of skanky white cracker or something. (Or whatever the friend's race is.) Then again, I'm awful. So there's that.

May09Bump · 21/12/2016 01:30

That's horrible - I thought you were going to say to do DIY or something like that over Christmas.

Cut all contact with her and enjoy your Christmas - she is a complete fruit loop at best.

MiddleClassProblem · 21/12/2016 01:37

Send her a link to this thread. She's fucking ignorant and thick as fuck with the empathy of a gnat.

agentmarmalade · 21/12/2016 01:40

I'm going to suggest that you let her friend know what she has done wrong, and how her words have made you feel. She might be clueless as to how other people feel about things like this, she obviously thought she was being hilarious, and would be playing a great joke on her ex. If you re educate her, she may be genuinely sorry that she's hurt you and will be more sensitive in future.