AIBU... Unannounced Visitors

[LouBlue1507]

Hi Ladies!

Just wondering other people's views on unannounced visitors?

I hate it, and it stresses me out massively! I find it rude and would never do it to someone else.

[xStefx]

Everyone we know calls or txts first. So if our doorbell rings me and DH spend 20 minutes asking each other silently who is at the door before one of us opens it .

[Dizzybug52]

Thank you Chozzle sorry for your loss too 💐

[TaylorP1234]

It's rude to just visit someone I'd never do it and I'd hate it done to me.
But your mum surely it's different your mum can see you upside down or in your pj's! I'd give anything in this world for my mum to just visit but sadly she isn't with us anymore!! It's true u don't appreciate something till it's gone I'm afraid!!!

[TheJunctionBaby]

What a miserable lot!

I'm with you chocolatewombat

[Camelsinthegobi]

I once had a bishop and his wife pop in unannounced at 8.30 on a Sunday night. I had a very sick newborn at the time (can't remember if he was pre or post op but it was major surgery). My husband's a vicar but, even so, it was pretty inappropriate.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

I don't like it. But as others have said, we are both busy with full time jobs and kids and so when we aren't doing that we'll be either doing essential housework that can't wait, out visiting parents (pre-arranged visits!), shopping or about to go out shopping, paying the kids some attention or helping them with homework, or just having a little bit of time to ourselves for once. So yes, someone just dropping in in these circumstances would annoy me. I'm not bothered at all if the house is messy because people should take need to take me as they find me. It's the assumption that you have feck all to do that's annoying. And I find it very rude that people who turn up unannounced look so offended when you say you're (genuinely) just off out somewhere (and it can't wait). They make you feel bad but it was totally THEIR doing! Exasperating!!

I do think that in families where both parents work full time people are actually better at recognising that other people's weekend time is precious. The people I know who don't work full time and so can get all their chores and errands out of the way during the week and so leaving a genuinely free weekend, often seem unable to see that this isn't the case for a lot of people.

When I'm retired I'll be happy to have people round unannounced but I'll still be sensitive to the fact that others won't have so much free time as me.

[CurlyhairedAssassin]

Meant to say, it's the same people who get antsy that you haven't replied to their Facebook post or text message within 10 mins. Well, I was busy - doing something more important than sitting staring at my phone!!

[BackforGood]

I love it, but it's another regular thread on MN that splits opinion - like shoes on / off in your house... like no children at weddings...... like inisiting you only invite dc to play if they invite your child to them the same number of times.......

You'll never persuade people to move sides

[RaspberryOverloadsOnMincePies]

CurlyhairedAssassin

I agree with your posts. I've noticed there are two types of popper-inners.

There's the people who pop in and genuinely don't care about mess, or who will muck in, make themselves a drink and just chat while you get on with stuff. I can just about cope with those because they are not really making demands on me.

The second type seem to be those who either consciously or not feel that their time is more important than yours, so they turn up and expect you to drop everything to host and entertain them, no matter how busy you are. Who feel affronted if you are going out when they arrive, etc. Those types get short shrift from me.

[marhav999]

Have to agree with OP again. One difference. It doesn't stress me. I usually carry on with what I was doing. (Unless what I was doing resulted In me not answering the door in the first place!) If I can, I ask the visitor to help. Amazing how a bit of housework or gardening shortens a visit.
It is bad manners to turn up unannounced. I would never do it - you never know what situation you are disturbing - and insist that others let me know when they're visiting. I would of course make an exception for a crisis visit.