AIBU... Unannounced Visitors

[LouBlue1507]

Hi Ladies!

Just wondering other people's views on unannounced visitors?

I hate it, and it stresses me out massively! I find it rude and would never do it to someone else.

[DesolateWaist]

It has never happened to me! No one has ever just turned up, but then all my family live at least 3 hours away. I would hate anyone to just turn up.

My parents are the complete opposite. They always have random friends just turn up. One day someone just turned up from Edinburgh, they live in the West Country!!
You'll be sat in their kitchen and people just stroll in.
Many years ago they used to leave the house unlocked, because you could in those days. They got home to find a friend in the bath!

[Love51]

My bil was surprised when I said I thought it was rude. Luckily they don't live close enough to have ever done it, so it didn't come out as a dig. He and his family sometimes have reason to be in the area, and now they phone before they have finished doing the other thing, so I get an hours notice. I don't really mind them inviting themselves round, but I prefer it when they leave a gap long enough for us to miss them, and want to invite them.

[SloeGinandTonic]

Love it. What having family and friends is all about.

[1horatio]

No problem. At least not if it's family.

Immediate and extend family is always welcome.

It's great when anybody of them comes to the UK.

[sohelpmegoad]

Whoops, I'm just home after popping in on my friend, I do hope she doesn't feel like most of you and is jut too polite to say so

[DanyellasDonkey]

I hate it. My sister continually does it, and very often while I am preparing dinner or we're just about to serve it.

I've told her to text but she just says she's my sister and shouldn't have to do this.

Complete PITA

[1horatio]

TBH, I would expect friends to call me maybe... an hour before? Or just not be upset if they couldn't stay long etc.


But family? Or close friends from back home? Sure... come in! Totally welcome. Always. We have guest rooms for a reason ;)

[Chippednailvarnishing]

Visitors are always welcome, the house is generally full of the DC's friends so one more hurt!

[AnArrowToTheKnee]

Hate it, I had a few "friends" who would just drop by, they assumed because I was a SAHM that I was always free. Glad I live too far for them to make the effort now!

Also, when I say I'm doing nothing, that doesn't mean I don't have plans. The plan is to do nothing and I'm bloody looking forward to it!

[NicknameUsed]

I don't mind. I have one friend who does this, but she is lovely and I love to see her. We have the sort of friendship that if it is really inconvenient we can say so to each other without causing offence.

[1horatio]

I'm so surprised people are upset by this.

Of course I wouldn't expect a close acquaintance to do this, that would be weird.

But it's visitors. That's great. If they call beforehand (half an hour?) to check whether somebody is home that's even better. But still?

Ah... family. Can't wait for Christmas to see them again,

And eat onion pie 😍😍😍

[Billben]

Hate it. I wouldn't turn up on anybody else's doorstep unannounced and I expect the same.

[Swatsup]

Hate it hate it hate it!!! Especially with kids as you could have just got them busy doing something quietly so you get to sit down and put your feet up for 5 mins. That 5 mins might be the only 5 mins peace you get to chill all day and it's always then when someone turns up.

[EmmaGellerGreen]

No problem with popping in at all. Unless you are genuinely busy, what difficult about putting the kettle on and having a cuppa and a chat with a friend/relative?

[BipBippadotta]

I don't answer the door unless I'm expecting a delivery or a takeaway. People can try all they like to turn up unannounced, I'm not fucking letting them in.

[DavidPuddy]

I wouldn't mind. We don't have enough of the good things in life and that includes friends and family.

[Radbadsad]

I wonder if this is an introvert / extrovert thing. I'm an introvert and when i read EmmaGG's comment about what could be difficult about having a chat with a friend, I could think of lots of things that would make it difficult. The main one being that if i'm at home and am expecting quiet time, the last thing I want is to suddenly have to make conversation with someone.

[CigarsofthePharoahs]

The problem is, in my thankfully rare experience of this, the people who just turn up unannounced are the ones who react the worst to "sorry I'm busy". You get "Well I've made the effort to come and see you!" or something similar. You know, you could have made the effort to use your phone and then saved yourself the bother.
Toddler nap time is the worst time. Mine will only nap on the living room sofa, so if anyone pops by - sorry, you can't come in. I will not let ye wake the beast, lest there be tribulations and a wailing and gnashing of teeth!

[1horatio]

rad

I've never wondered whether I'm an introvert or extrovert,

But if you turn up at my house and I don't want you there (and there isn't a very compelling reason. Which, family... could never not invite them in) I'd have no issues to let you know.

[Lelloteddy]

Love it. Visitors always welcome. And even more so if they bring cake.
Lucky to have like minded friends and family. Each other's company us more important than how clean the house is.

Wonder how many of those who find this such a horrific idea are the ones who complain about being ignored at the school gate/excluded from nights out?

[Rockpebblestone]

People must have done this all the time, in the past, though. Wasn't that long ago not everyone had phones.

I must admit, I don't like the prospect that much myself. I think it is the little criticisms of people's homes etc that puts me off. People can be quite judgemental. So when you do invite people round you feel like you have to pull out all the stops to entertain. Years ago you could just fit in. Tv or radio on and you could watch/listen together. Meals would not be expected to be fancy. If they were doing the garden or moving furniture / having a clear out, you'd pitch in and help.

[Thoughtfulduck]

I recently had a friend come round unannounced...I was hoovering upstairs and they thought it was fine to come up and wait silently behind me. I have never had such a fright!! I don't understand why anyone would think that was ok! I hate it.

[KingJoffreysRestingCuntface]

I find it horrific because I'm currently lounging around in a Walking Dead hoodie and a pair of knickers. I have mad hair and no make up.

DS is also still in his pyjamas.

A phonecall in advance would give us the chance to assemble ourselves and pretend we're normal.

[KingJoffreysRestingCuntface]

Thoughtfulduck , your hovering friend is a psychopath.

Just warning you.

[EllaHen]

I grew up in a large family. My Dad fiercely protected our privacy. Home was a sanctuary. So, my family would never just drop in and I have to say, I really hate it.

I will welcome any and all people into my home. But I need notice.