AIBU... Unannounced Visitors

[LouBlue1507]

Hi Ladies!

Just wondering other people's views on unannounced visitors?

I hate it, and it stresses me out massively! I find it rude and would never do it to someone else.

[Araminta99]

Radbadsad I'm an extrovert but I hate people popping in unexpectedly. I never answer the door.

I think it's more to do with the culture/community you grew up in? I live in the city and it's really uncommon to "drop in" on people. But in the council estate my Mum grew up on it was fairly common. My DH is from the country and people were always turning up unannounced at his house.

[J3NN1]

I have pretty much an open house. Family, Neighbours, friends, dc's friends all just turn up and walk in! Occasionally I'll get a 'do you need anything' phone call beforehand but that's not very often.
I really don't mind it.

[QueSera]

Yanbu

[Craigie]

Oh god, it's the height of bad manners. Who doesn't phone first? Cannot stand it.

[waterrat]

hate them. especially if they have to be in town for some sort of census. Arriving on their bloody donkey expecting a room. I just tell them it's the stable or nothing.

[Blueflowers2011]

Didnt mind pre-kids, loved people feeling comfortable to pop by all the time.

Post-kids, hate it. My house is a tip with toys, children get overexcited when visitors turn up and start being naughty, routine goes out the window, plus i just feel no energy to host anybody round ever ever again.

How times have changed.

[liz70]

Are you a journalist, OP? I may be wrong, but your post comes across that way, to me, anyway. Kind of like you're fishing for content for an article. Oh well.

[greeneyedlulu]

When I was younger my mum would always want to 'surprise' people and it used to drive me nuts!! I'm not a fan of surprise visitors and want fair warning for anyone coming over!!

[TesticleMeElmo]

One of the only good things about moving 400 miles away from my family with my (now ex) husband was that family couldn't just randomly 'pop in'. Two years of utter bliss. Now I'm living back fairly close to my home town, and whereas my Dad doesn't even like to visit because he doesn't want to get in the way, my mum literally couldn't give enough of a toss to drive 15 minutes up the road to visit us and her only grandchild. That is also fine with me. OHs parents, however.... they're better now, but it used to be AT LEAST 3-4 times A WEEK. And they wouldn't even bloody KNOCK, just wandered in Used to fuck me right off!

[CruCru]

I have a friend who used to do this. I love her dearly but it was rather inconvenient - we'd be on our way out, getting babies into car seats and there she was.

I suspect that she doesn't like making plans in advance because she doesn't like to be tied down (often quite flakey). So dropping in suits her.

[Middleagedmumoftwo]

I hate it. Don't mind so much if it's one of my parents but anyone else stresses me out. When my first child was weeks old I was sat in the lounge in knickers and t shirt breastfeeding early in the morning when my father In law marched straight in (we had one of those front doors that you can close but leave unlocked and hubby hadn't locked it after leaving for work) I made sure I locked it from then on and would frequently hide upstairs if they turned up unannounced. His grandparents used to roll up unannounced too, they lived 25 miles away and would claim to have been "in the area", and sometimes if I spotted their car on my drive in time I would drive straight past my house and hide around the corner until they had gone. I do feel a bit guilty about it now though 😐

[Kathandkim1]

I hate anyone just 'popping by'. If you want to visit I need a day and a time at least a day or so in advance. I hate when people say they'll be round on x day but give no indication of what time. My time off work with my family is precious as I don't have much of it and I resent anyone who infringes on that time without prior agreement.

[happymumof4crazykids]

Drives me nuts! Most of my family arrange to come over but DPs parents just turn up usually just as I'm dishing up dinner/eating dinner or when my youngest 2 are having their afternoon nap and I'm hoping to get a nap too! I've asked them to arrange something in advance or ring first but they never do

[Shona52]

Doesn't bother me I have an open door policy in my house but you take me as you find me even if that means I'm going out and you have to leave.

[Notmuchtosay1]

My OH is terrible. He's always turning up at people's houses. I tell him it's rude and he says I'm just unsociable. Today for example, he went off with about 8 Christmas cards for neighbours. I said "are you just putting them through doors or knocking?" He says "I'm not rude like you, I'll knock" whereas I'd just put them through the letterbox. He expects to be invited in as well. It made me laugh when he was home quite quickly as everyone was out 😂

[Notmuchtosay1]

Our neighbours aren't really close by the way. We are in the countryside.

[DinosaursRoar]

YANBU - can't stand people who pop in. Call/text first. I need time to run round to make place presentable and to decide if I want to see people or not. If you are already on my doorstep, it's hard to say "no actually, doesnt suit me to have guests now." whereas if you call/text first I can say "oh sorry, I'm not free." even if I only intend to watch TV that afternoon

[Olympiathequeen]

I hate it. My house is always a mess when they call. The toilet needs cleaning and I am in my dressing gown.

Of course when I'm dressed and the house is spotless no one turns up!

[Mammylamb]

I'm not keen. When my son was born I tried to get my dad to let me know when he would be visiting (he lives 100 miles away). He said that he just wanted to jump in the car and pop up when he had time. I had to explain that I do have other plans. So his wife told my husband that my dad was really hurt that he had to make an appointment to see his own daughter. Aaaatrrttghghhh . I think he expects me to be home all the time, even though I work 4 days a week and have a social life, as my sister is a SAhM who doesn't seem to go out, so he can just drop by to her house when he feels like it. I suspect he thinks a woman really should be at home all day minding the house lol

[Bettyspants]

Ugh. Mum's ok as she knows the house will be chaos. But I really like a bit of warning, couple hours so I can stuff everything in a cupboard would be great. DH and I work full time both studying for phds the house is a bomb. I like to create an illusion of we're ok not really rocking clutching gin where are my DC.....

[Meluzyna]

Well it rather depends who it is - and if you have a baby or small children. I no longer have either living at home. I have lots of love friends who I am generally delighted to see even if it is an un-announced visit - and they are good enough friends to be totally OK with it if I make my apologies because I have to be elsewhere in the next 30 minutes.
However, when our eldest was a new born we skulked inside and didn't answer the door to DH's aunt as we were compeltely knackered and in no state to put up with her, even for half an hour. And my M-i-L has a nasty habit of turning up when I'm working at home or just on my way out to work, or worse, when I've just got in - I'm really not happy about that as I have nothing in common with her apart from her son (and grandchildren) I'm afraid she really is hard work. It's not that we don't get on, it's just that I really have nothing to say to her and don't have time to waste listening to her repeat complaints about my F-i-L or the NDN or whoever, that I've already heard several times before.

[supermoon100]

Ho Ho Ho. This thread is full of Christmas cheer!

[iminthebath]

When we're all ancient and consider popping out to the post office a major event, we will love to have people popping in to see us and spend time with us. Be grateful for busy lives and lighten up!

[ProseccoBitch]

I hate it. No one who knows me would turn up unannounced.

[Koolchique]

There's a couple that turn up on a Sunday night unannounced when I just want to rest and get ready for the week.

It's minutes to 9pm and they've just