AIBU... Unannounced Visitors

[LouBlue1507]

Hi Ladies!

Just wondering other people's views on unannounced visitors?

I hate it, and it stresses me out massively! I find it rude and would never do it to someone else.

[SharkBastard]

DH and I are both introverts and our home is our sanctuary, it's our place to recharge away from people.

Everyone who knows us knows that we do get do uninvited visits, and they respect that, as I respect their ways. Some peoples homes are really more than just a place to sleep, it's our cave or our safe place. Leave us be

[Sparklyglitter]

When my Mum had cancer, people felt they should just drop by...it got so bad that they felt they had to pretend they weren't in as my Mum just found it too tiring. I'm happy for people to drop in at short notice, but would defo prefer a little text first rather than a tap on the door! Xx

[Koolchique]

I meant to say my hubby's guests have just left. Their coming is like having a small party. I don't mind entertaining but I'd rather have notice and prepare cos it's never enough for my hubby to give them snacks. I've cooked from scratch. The living room is also a right mess now (hopefully the elves will hoover and tidy up).

It's 9pm on Sunday night, my head is pounding and I just need to sleep. OP, YANBU at all. I just grin n bear it for peace sake

[marciagetscreamed]

I hate unexpected visitors.

Don't get me wrong, I really enjoy hosting parties, having people for dinner etc.

But I need time to put out my 'stunt pineapple' and stage my fake washing up area.

DH has put down a long gravel pathway to our house (if we could feasibly have a moat and drawbridge, we would) so I can hear all visitors and if I peep out the window and can't be bothered, I just don't answer the door.

Because I am still in my nightie eating crisps at midday and watching dross on telly.

[Tapandgo]

Hate it as I like to get into nightwear and watch TV in the early evening. Visitors are welcome if I get warning - a simple text will do. Id never presume people are just ready for visitors.

[CookieDoughKid]

Absolutely love it. I love that friends and family have thought of me enough to see me. My door is always welcome and I will always offer overnight stays if they have travelled far (I.e. if I am a stopover enroute).

I'm a really socialable creature and love company.

I love being on my own to recharge but I don't need much.

[Tubbyinthehottub]

Plus, what if you've had a touch of wind?

[MrsMerchant]

It's bang out of order.

[melj1213]

All these people saying that they hate when people come unannounced and interrupt your downtime ... why not just use your words and say so? "Sorry, I'm a bit busy bingewatching Netflix so now isn't a good time, how about ?" Just because you answer the door doesn't mean you have to invite someone in and be sociable!

A good friend of mine dropped by earlier on this afternoon and it wasn't a good time - I work in retail so I have been at work the last 7 days and today is my only day off before I go back in for 6 days straight of 10hr shifts until 7pm Christmas Eve. I had planned that today would be spent absolutely gutting my house, doing all the various cleaning/sorting/organizing jobs that have been let slide over the last week and that won't be prioritised next week either, so when she showed up, I was in old bleach-stained clothes, dust bunnies chasing each other through my messy hair, and just generally not feeling especially presentable ... so when I answered the door looking like hell I just said it wasn't a good time for visiting because I was busy.

My friend immediately said that was fine, she was just dropping off christmas cards, but since she could tell I was in (windows all open, music audible) she didn't just want to drop it through the letterbox and leave because she thought that would seem rude. I didn't want to just ignore the door because that would have seemed rude, regardless of who was calling (as I was clearly in and the doorbell can be heard through the door so no excuse that I didn't hear it) and because I was upfront about being busy and my friend accepting that she'd dropped by without warning we both understood that whilst I would normally invite her in for a cup of tea and a bit of a natter, today was a "5 min doorstep chat" rather than a "hour long brew and natter" and she had taken that chance when she knocked on my door unannounced.

[swisspookie]

I think it's a shame that so many aren't comfortable to welcome friends/family to their home ad hoc. I'd love more of my friends to pitch up spontaneously. There are only a few who ever do. They look past the mess and we usually have a nice chat (or maybe they come to see the mess).

[Aspiringcatlady]

Yes! I hate it. Especially if you are having a lazy day in your pjs!

[Sybys]

Another vote for hating and it and finding it rude.

[Tarrarra]

I hate the pop round. most people know I hate the pop round. Pop rounders arrive in their finery having prepared themselves for a visit only to be greeted by me in my loungewear with no make up and a house in disarray. Because its sods law that if you are dressed for visitors and the house is tidy, noone will come! What I really hate is poprounders who arrive as you are about to leave on an errand, and act disappointed and narked off; if you'd given notice, you would have known I was going out...

[sj257]

I hate it. Don't mind my mum doing it but anybody else, no!

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I love it.

I don't get stressed about how people find us.

[ilovechocolate07]

People drop in at my mums all the time no don't give notice and she doesn't seem to mind. I hate not being given notice at my house. I like to have a quick tidy up, maybe spray some air freshener, make sure the kids have flushed the loos....

[MuddlingAlong99]

Don't do it. Normally give a call first, but that's really so as not to waste my time. No probs if someone pops in on us though. You get us as we are, mucky shoes in the hall, books on the stairs etc.

We vac everywhere downstairs every two days max, so never really messy.

[MuddlingAlong99]

The annoying one is when the mother-in-law used to actually open the front door and let herself in with a cooey! Even when we knew she was coming I find it totally disrespectful.

Needless to say we now have full no contact. Not to do with this at all, but some other issue that escalated over a number of years. But it clearly shows her 'no-boundaries' approach to my family, my feelings and my children.

Not a nice person :-(

[bumsexatthebingo]

If people did this to me would lock my doors and hide if it wasn't convenient. Surely they would give up if every time they turned up you 'weren't in'.

[TheViceOfReason]

I love when people drop in - and it makes me really happy that the people i care about feel they can just come in and put the kettle on.

Anybody i don't like i don't give directions to in the first place (no chance of finding my house without) so don't get unwanted drop ins.

[Daydream007]

I agree it is so rude and I'd never dream of turning up without at least phoning ahead. I don't mind parents or siblings turning up though.

[Katy07]

When we're all ancient and consider popping out to the post office a major event, we will love to have people popping in to see us and spend time with us. Be grateful for busy lives and lighten up!
Speak for yourself. I consider popping to the post office a major event now & I'm positive my attitude to people popping in is not going to change at any point in the future. And as for 'lightening up' - some of us just don't enjoy unannounced visitors. It's perfectly acceptable to want both the choice and warning.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Why is it 'rude' ? I understand if it's inconvenient but why rude?

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I love when people drop in - and it makes me really happy that the people i care about feel they can just come in and put the kettle on

Me too

[SaucyJack]

It's just a bit presumptive, isn't it Dame?

Like whoever it is won't have anything better to do than feed, water and entertain you?

Takes 2 seconds to send a text asking if they're free for visiting that day.