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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Being made to feel guilty because I won't swap my shift on Xmas day

237 replies

Hannah4banana · 14/12/2016 10:08

I work in a job where we are required 365 days a year. I'be worked there since I was 21, I'm 35 now and I work with 10 other ladies.
I'm child free so generally I didn't mind working on Xmas even when I was rostered off. This year my shift is on.
My boss usually does a dip with everyone's name as 2 people can apply to be off if staffing permits. My name was drawn and in the past I've said just stick it back in but this time I was really happy as ive recently moved an hour away from my hometown nearer work and now I can stay with my family and husband at Xmas.
I've already been asked 4 times if I'd swop with my colleagues so they can be off instead because they have kids. They are making comments about missing their child's wee faces and how they will miss important family time and memories. I know they are bitching about me behind my back and can't seem to understand that I might want some time off myself this year.
AIBU not to swop?

OP posts:
intravenouscoffee · 14/12/2016 10:10

YANBU. I also work Christmas and everyone has to take their turn. I have DCs, yes it's a pain but it's part of the job.

Have a lovely Christmas with your family and don't get guilt tripped by your colleagues. Horrible behaviour from them.

BillSykesDog · 14/12/2016 10:11

YANBU. You have been really kind to your colleagues swapping in the past and it's your turn now. They shouldn't be making you feel guilty about this. Hope you have a lovely Xmas.

OliviaStabler · 14/12/2016 10:11

YANBU. Let them bitch away. You are entitled to Christmas off as much as they are.

iwantavuvezela · 14/12/2016 10:13

Enjoy your Christmas ..... You should not be guilt tripped into this ... And to be honest if someone did that to me it would harden my resolve not to just give in next year if my name got called out to not work.

littlewoollypervert · 14/12/2016 10:13

Don't swop!!! (speaking as a parent, who works with lots of non parents and we are scrupulous about giving people equal turns to have time off over Christmas regardless of family situations)

Having children does not trump your own right to a social and family life and Christmas is part of that - which you have kindly given up in the past.

Can you drop into conversation that you have worked X Christmas days in a row and didn't have to do Y of them, and that you are sooo looking forward to finally having a Christmas day with your family.

If they keep hassling you have a quiet word with the manager.

myfavouritecolourispurple · 14/12/2016 10:13

YANBU. You have a family too.

Ignore and do not let them get to you.

DailyFail1 · 14/12/2016 10:14

YANBU. I don't have kids either but host my entire extended family for Christmas (18-20 people) so I need to take my 2 weeks during the period to prepare. I don't allow anyone to bully me into giving any part of my leave up.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 14/12/2016 10:14

Don't swap. If you did, those others who wanted to swap but missed out with you, will be even more pissed off.
And, controversially, Christmas isn't just about children.

originalusernamefail · 14/12/2016 10:15

YANBU and I say that as someone with kids. You have a family too. I have worked 8 out of 11 Xmas days since I qualified. The only ones I've had at home have been on mat leave!

MissMarplesHat · 14/12/2016 10:15

Yanbu, you've been very accommodating in the past. Enjoy your day!

HaveNoSocks · 14/12/2016 10:17

YANBU. My mum used to be in a job where people would have to work christmas day. Usually they'd arrange it so the people who really wanted Christmas wouldn't have to work (and do new year instead). Often that was the people with young children (my mum always had it off when we were little but beyond the santa years usually had to work) but there were also childfree people like you who had to travel to be with their family or once there was a single guy who had had health issues during the year and just really wanted a nice Christmas. You've done your bit in previous years so people shouldn't begrudge you this Christmas time off.

Arfarfanarf · 14/12/2016 10:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

frikadela01 · 14/12/2016 10:17

Yanbu. Everyone should take their turn. This year is my first Xmas off since 2007 because I'm on maternity leave. I always got given Christmas because "you're young you'll want to go out in Nye" well actually I'd like to spend Christmas day with my family, you know my parents my dp, my sisters. Family time at Christmas is not limited to children. Enjoy your chrismtas

Original poster
Hannah4banana · 14/12/2016 10:18

I've actually just been texted to ask if I'll work half the shift 8 - 1 so they can see them opening their presents. I feel so guilty but I have worked practically every year since I started. I'm working for someone on boxing night this year even though I'm off. Thanks ladies. I'm going to politely decline.

OP posts:
mistermagpie · 14/12/2016 10:19

YANBU at all, keep the day off and enjoy it. It sounds like you have done you 'fair share' of swapping in the past and they are being a bit cheeky to ask and a bit mean to bitch about you. Ignore them and have a lovely time with your family.

chickenowner · 14/12/2016 10:20

Enjoy your Christmas Day with your family.

I agree with Madame, Christmas isn't just for children!

You 'won' the day off fairly, so don't let them make you feel guilty.

arghfaceemoji · 14/12/2016 10:21

How awful don't you dare swap! You have been lovely to work in the past for others when you didn't have to and your colleagues should realise that and stop being so rude and entitled. I used to be a nurse so I know it's like. I also have children but would never use them to emotionally blackmail someone! Have a lovely Christmas with your family!

PurpleDaisies · 14/12/2016 10:22

Stick to your guns. You're not in the wrong here.

DameXanaduBramble · 14/12/2016 10:22

You have Christmas plans too, stick to those guns.

Hardshoulder · 14/12/2016 10:22

Yanbu in the least, and don't let yourself be guilted into anything. You've clearly been an incredibly accommodating colleague in the past, and have nothing at all to feel bad about.

Sparlklesilverglitter · 14/12/2016 10:22

YANBU

why shouldn't you have a proper Christmas off? Having children doesn't mean there Christmas means more than yours

We all have lives. We all have plans

I wouldn't be swapping and I wouldn't be working 1/2 the shift. Enjoy your Christmas!

BarbarianMum · 14/12/2016 10:23

No don't swap. If you'd wanted to you'd have put your name back in the draw. Shame on them for hassling you. Angry

EatTheCake · 14/12/2016 10:24

Cheeky fuckers! The guilt tripping would piss me right off.

Don't you swap, don't you work half the shift either!

So they have children what fo they want a medal? Well you have a life and a husband/family to see.

BadLad · 14/12/2016 10:25

Sparlklesilverglitter couldn't agree more. There have be vehement posts along the lines of "you're selfishly ruining Christmas for your colleagues' children" in previous threads though.

FrancisCrawford · 14/12/2016 10:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.