Being made to feel guilty because I won't swap my shift on Xmas day

[Hannah4banana]

I work in a job where we are required 365 days a year. I'be worked there since I was 21, I'm 35 now and I work with 10 other ladies.
I'm child free so generally I didn't mind working on Xmas even when I was rostered off. This year my shift is on.
My boss usually does a dip with everyone's name as 2 people can apply to be off if staffing permits. My name was drawn and in the past I've said just stick it back in but this time I was really happy as ive recently moved an hour away from my hometown nearer work and now I can stay with my family and husband at Xmas.
I've already been asked 4 times if I'd swop with my colleagues so they can be off instead because they have kids. They are making comments about missing their child's wee faces and how they will miss important family time and memories. I know they are bitching about me behind my back and can't seem to understand that I might want some time off myself this year.
AIBU not to swop?

I was talking to my DM about this earlier. My DF joined the fire brigade 2 months after I was born, he retires next year. In that time he has worked many many cheistmasses, but honestly? I don't remember a single Christmas he wasn't there! my mum said they always worked around it, they just made it work and we just got used to it.
Stick to your guns op, it's not mean, it's not cruel. You deserve a Christmas day off too and there are work arounds for parents with children who have to work Christmas day

Presumably working a 365-days-a-year job was apparent to those with children when they took the job? Suggest they look for a different job. Whilst you're at it, book off those 10 days between Easter and May Day that actually give you 18 consecutive days off. Saw it yesterday, Google it. Those with kids will be stuck to the term timetable, silently raging at your cunning plan.

Not Rtft but couldn't agree more with others. Don't swap. Christmas isn't just for people with kids. You deserve some time off with your family too. Fuck them trying to guilt trip you.

Its nice to be home with the kids, opening gifts... but that doesnt mean because you have no kids you should work. Phone and cameras for pics and videos! Next year someone else may be off and i guess they wouldn't give day off up. Kids or no kids. Just saying i think u should enjoy your day off with your family.

Absolutely yanbu!!! You've been incredibly kind and very generous for over a decade! People without children need a family christmas too! I realise young family's do take priority but you have done above and beyond your fair share! Shift worker 365 days a yr with a young family here! Don't submit to pressure and enjoy your Christmas with no guilt

I have just managed to RTFT - my thoughts echo the majority particularly :

• day, it's only one day and if it means so bloody much to them, they can 'do' Xmas day and 'see their little faces' on another day can't they? In reality, the kids will wake them up at stupid o clock, open presents like tornados, play with nothing and be bored and grumpy by breakfast time*

Every Christmas I've ever shared with anyone's DC the presents are opened well before 8. WELL BEFORE.

As someone with a Xmas name said the person who has asked for 8-1 cover will shaft you, not just hungover/ill but Little Timmy will fall off his scooter, Sally with have diarrhoea, if they get you in for start of shift they can leave you to it. Don't fall for it.

Lemon OK say you had no children and so had worked 14 Christmasses to let your colleagues have that family time and had never had a Christmas with your DH and so you stood your ground about this year - someone else quietly thought you were mean but said nothing to you and didn't ask for cover but probably bitched behind your back.
But other people told you to your face you were mean and harassed you at home via text with clear guilt trips and attempts to trick you into working a full shift by getting you to go in for the start of shift and saying they'll show up later? I'm sure you'd want them to fuck off to the far side of fuck.

On a completely separate note, I know next to nothing/little about Islam, and was really interested in your comment Contessa - the Prophet's Birthday moves? How so?

I have kids and work Christmas day usually but not this year.
Tell them to stop being so entitled.
I'd hate to think of my colleagues being treated like this.
Enjoy your day!

EverySongbirdSings the Prophets birthday is based on the lunar calendar, so it's around 10-11 days different each year

I'm already having this for next summer - it's usually me and one colleague doing the whole of summer, with the other 8 off for a couple of weeks of it. Never more than 4 of us in the whole of June, July, August. I want 2 weeks in August and am being questioned why - it's a family wedding. I've already been asked if I can fly there for a weekend? No - it's somewhere I've never been so want to make the most of it.

I've also been there with DH having Christmas leave refused because 'G hasn't been back for 12 years'. He does a completely different role to G. And DH hadn't had more than just xmas day off (therefore couldn't go home) for 5 years. All of these previous years were when both worked in other companies by the way.

I'm lucky in my company - everyone gets their choice of religious day in addition to their leave (non-muslims do anyway - we get all the Muslim holidays as they're bank holidays), and the rule is nobody can veto that day. As a culturally but not practicing christian, I can choose Christmas Day or Easter Sunday. When CD is a weekend, I have Easter too.

You learn something new every day!

Whilst you're at it, book off those 10 days between Easter and May Day that actually give you 18 consecutive days off. Saw it yesterday, Google it. Those with kids will be stuck to the term timetable, silently raging at your cunning plan.

Unless you don't work weekends/bank holidays, which the OP does, then this isn't any good. And even if you do its hardly that great as Easter gives you 17 days off for 9 days holiday if you take it at the same time (ie before Easter) as school holidays. Delaying it until after Easter only gives you an extra day off.

I realise young family's do take priority but you have done above and beyond your fair share!

What do you mean by this? Young families don't take priority. No one's family should take priority over anyone else's.

My mum works in this kind of environment.

Your colleague who is working 8-1, her children can open their presents when she gets home. We did.

Why should one persons family take priority over another? DH is a doctor and has worked many Christmas Day's including DT's first Christmas. We would reclassify another day as our Christmas Day if he was working on 25 December.

I'm so angry on your behalf!
I've had to work many Christmas's both as a child free person and as a mother. It's what you sign up for as an NHS frontline worker.

Please don't cave!

It can be rather nice to get away from the family and do a little early shift and then come home to your family thinking you are selfless and wonderful

YANBU. Not having kids doesn't make you less deserving of having xmas off!

Op, I think you've been incredibly generous in the past. If you want an Xmas day off then take it and enjoy it. However.
I also work in a 365 day job.
I worked every Xmas eve and day before having children. Traditionally there has been a general agreement that those with kids don't work Xmas but do work Boxing day and New Years Eve.
I am off Xmas Eve and Day this year as colleagues with adult children are kindly working it. In return I am in on Boxing Day and will be working 6pm-6am over New Years Eve.
It's a system that's worked very well for years.
Adults understand working commitments, children less so.

I'm another in the YANBU camp.
I have 3 children. I have never considered our Christmas more important than anyone else's. Ridiculous that people actually think like this.
Don't give in and have a fab day. You more than deserve it. 😊

I worked every Xmas eve and day before having children. Traditionally there has been a general agreement that those with kids don't work Xmas but do work Boxing day and New Years Eve.

If that system genuinely works for your particular workplace, fine but there's no way that it should be assumed people without children would rather go out and get pissed on New Year's Eve than have Christmas with their family (whether that includes children or not).

Adults understand working commitments, children less so.

This is rubbish. Children are perfectly capable of enjoying Christmas either on a different day or with other relatives. Some entitled parents like to use this as an excuse for special treatment regarding Christmas working hours.

Bettyspants said I realise young family's do take priority...

No, they don't. Each family is unique and different and just as deserving of time off together to celebrate the festivities as ANY other.

It's exactly this sort of mindless entitled shit "oh, I have kids, I come first" that the OP is blamed for.

Which is all fine boybabies if people are happy to swap around amongst themselves. But it should never be assumed or people pressurised into it.

I think it's a bit bonkers that the boss just draws names from a hat. Surely there should be at least some consideration of who was off the previous year? With 10 staff and only 2 allowed to be off chances are there will be some people who are never lucky.

I enjoy having August off because of the weather

The weather is usually better in May/June or September than in August. Or are you not in the UK? That said, it's too hot in a lot of places in August for me anyway so I'd still rather go abroad in May/June or September.

In some ways I'd like England to move onto Scottish holidays so you get July off. That said, I'd not like to lose May half term.

Sorry for derailing the thread.

Just to reiterate - having (small) kids does not give you priority at Christmas. You can celebrate your Christmas on a day other than 25th. I think the weight of comments on this thread should have given the OP comfort that she is not being mean.

I think the weight of comments on this thread should have given the OP comfort that she is not being mean

It's encouraging isn't it? Other threads haven't gone like this. Maybe the tide is turning.

YANBU!

Stick to your guns!

I worked in care and would never have taken priority because I have kids. I did have a favourite shift to work though, and that was Christmas Eve night shift.

I would work, come home, let the kids open their presents, put the turkey in, have a nap, then get up and relax and enjoy Christmas.

My daughter is a ward sister and before she had her baby was regularly pestered by others with children to swop if she found herself off duty at Christmas. Her reply was that she was someone's child too and they wanted to see her on Christmas Day.

Yanbu!! Christmas is not just about the children. It's about lots of family members getting together and playing board games etc...
I have a friend who works as a carer and tbh she really pisses me off with things like this. She expects work to only give her shifts to suit the children's schools hours, despite having childcare available on tap. She also never wants to work a weekend because of the kids (she only works 3 days a week anyway!) Then is refusing to work Xmas because of the kids. The way she talks you'd swear she's the first person to have kids!
I know I'm being mean and I do love her but sometimes I feel like telling her you have an unrealistic expectation of the working world!