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Original poster

To be concerned dp lied about this?

222 replies

slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 07:08

Name Changed for this. Me and dp both finish work a similar time on Mondays . He works a 20 min drive from home and and I use the bus which takes 50 mins opposite directions to each other. So seeing as it was dd school play I asked him if he could pick me up and drive me home so I had a bit extra time to get changed. It would work out he would have an extra 20 min journey but I would be home half hour sooner. Sorry if this is confusing. Anyway he said no as the extra driving would make him too tired to go to the play and he doesn't want to miss it. I say ok I understand I will go straight from work to the play and meet him outside the school. I arrive at school he's not there! I text him and he says he has just got out of work and is running and to tell dd he's really sorry! Not the first time he's been out late so think nothing of it and actually feel bad for him that he's missed play. Anyway.... Tuesday morning I get a txt from a mutual friend who works with dp saying ' I'm so grateful your 'dp' gave me a lift home yesterday the weather was awful wasn't it' I was like Shock so he lied and was actually 5 mins from the school anyway! Sorry if this is all confusing but I'm angry

OP posts:
Original poster
slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 07:09

*running late

OP posts:
Lilaclily · 07/12/2016 07:09

Why did he lie?
Why did mutual friend text you a thank you text and not him !

Lilaclily · 07/12/2016 07:09

Your poor dd

SandysMam · 07/12/2016 07:11

Is the mutual friend female? Could she be dropping a hint he was hitting on her?

Cookingongas · 07/12/2016 07:12

Wtf? So he was in the area and chose not to go to his child's party?

He refused to pick you up but happily gave a lift to a friend?

What's more he lied to his wife and family about all of this?

Quite frankly I'd be very suspicious

Original poster
slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 07:13

Lilac I'm thinking the same. I'm sure she did thank him and she is the type of person who is very grateful for things so I'm not surprised she text me too just to make sure we know how thankful she is

OP posts:
Sweetwater · 07/12/2016 07:14

I wouldn't be at all happy that he had missed the play when he didn't have to. Few of us want to go to things like that, it's just something you do for your dc.

And yes, I'd be concerned he was lying.

quicklydecides · 07/12/2016 07:15

Well he's a selfish lazy arse who doesn't prioritise the mother of his child.
But that's best case scenario really...

Original poster
slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 07:15

What annoys me is that he really did want to go and then seems to have opted to give her a lift insteadAngry oh my god I'm so angry now

OP posts:
crazyoldc4tlady · 07/12/2016 07:16

very strange. Could it have been pre-planned as he refused to pick you up early on?

I would not say anything but do some snooping first. He is hiding something.

Aderyn2016 · 07/12/2016 07:16

So he can't be bothered to go out of his way to help you, but is willing to do so for someone else and miss his dd's play?
I think he is cheating, sorry.
Even if he isn't, this man doesn't care about you. People who love you want to make your life easier - they put you first and value your comfort snd wellbeing. This selfish arse clearly doesn't. You can do better, so stop accepting his careless disregard for both you and his child.

TheoriginalLEM · 07/12/2016 07:17

very suspect. ..if i was cynical, id say that he is fucking her and she is runbing your nose in it.

mrscarrotironfoundersson · 07/12/2016 07:17

Do you think it was premeditated? That's why he wouldn't pick you up? It does sound from your friend that it was a spontaneous thing due to bad weather.

Two things to be cross about:

  1. Refusing you a lift in special circumstances (he IS your DP!)
  2. Lying about being late
WinterIsHereJon · 07/12/2016 07:18

What did he say when you asked him?

Bluntness100 · 07/12/2016 07:19

Oh that's not good. Could she have put him in a position where he felt he had to? Doesn't excuse the lying though. And it's kinda weird for her to text you too. The lift is the sort of thing my husband would do, but he'd say he wasn't going to make it because he was giving x a lift.

Have you spoken to him about it?

Original poster
slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 07:19

The weather was awful so may have been spare of the moment but I still had to get the bloody bus in the rain! I don't suspect cheating but this has made me wonder

OP posts:
mygorgeousmilo · 07/12/2016 07:21

Refusing you a lift was mean, and then this??? What a pig! I'd go nuts. The thing is the friend text you, so you don't need to pretend you haven't sneaked around to find out. Bastard

Original poster
slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 07:22

I have been waiting to see if he brings it up. I keep saying how good the play was and shame he missed it and he just says ' sorry but what could I do' I could actually slap him at that point. I don't want to cause an argument over it but I do need answers

OP posts:
ValaMalDoran · 07/12/2016 07:22

It is not good for sure. He has refused to do a one off favour for you but then done another for someone else and missed the play because of it.

At worst he's a cheat and at best he's an inconsiderate asshole.

YouTheCat · 07/12/2016 07:23

I used to be married to one of these types.

Would do anything for a friend but not for you. I've known my ex to take time off to help a mate but when one of our kids (twins who were one at the time) had an early hospital appointment and it was bleaching down with snow there was just no way he could take time off. So I walked 4 miles to the hospital (no pushchair spaces on buses back then) with a double buggy.

I'd definitely have to call him out on this.

hesterton · 07/12/2016 07:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wifeyhun · 07/12/2016 07:25

Sounds like he is after her and she knows it and the text was to rub it in your face.

Rumtopf · 07/12/2016 07:25

Have you asked him?

It doesn't make any sense at all, he's lied and been a bit devious. I'd not be able to keep quiet about how annoyed I was!

srslylikeomg · 07/12/2016 07:28

I'd have thought he was a selfish nob before the lift bit. Not picking you up as he might be tired. Selfish wanker

MrsCharlieD · 07/12/2016 07:28

How close does to school does the friend live? Was it out of his way or on his way. If he prioritised giving a lift to someone over making it to his child's play on time then I think that's dreadful. Or maybe he was already late and knew he wasn't going to make it on time anyway so gave her a lift out of kindness. You need to talk to him about this.

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