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Original poster

To be concerned dp lied about this?

222 replies

slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 07:08

Name Changed for this. Me and dp both finish work a similar time on Mondays . He works a 20 min drive from home and and I use the bus which takes 50 mins opposite directions to each other. So seeing as it was dd school play I asked him if he could pick me up and drive me home so I had a bit extra time to get changed. It would work out he would have an extra 20 min journey but I would be home half hour sooner. Sorry if this is confusing. Anyway he said no as the extra driving would make him too tired to go to the play and he doesn't want to miss it. I say ok I understand I will go straight from work to the play and meet him outside the school. I arrive at school he's not there! I text him and he says he has just got out of work and is running and to tell dd he's really sorry! Not the first time he's been out late so think nothing of it and actually feel bad for him that he's missed play. Anyway.... Tuesday morning I get a txt from a mutual friend who works with dp saying ' I'm so grateful your 'dp' gave me a lift home yesterday the weather was awful wasn't it' I was like Shock so he lied and was actually 5 mins from the school anyway! Sorry if this is all confusing but I'm angry

OP posts:
crazyoldc4tlady · 07/12/2016 07:29

could he try it on with your friend and her text to you is a subtle message to let you know?

IdaDown · 07/12/2016 07:29

He fancies the work colleague.

Or, want's to be seen as the nice guy who'd help anybody in a fix (except you).

You get wet.
He misses DD's play.

What a nice DP/father

Charley50 · 07/12/2016 07:31

Hmm. It could be that he WAS running late and then gave her a lift, so had already missed the play. But then then again; wouldn't he mention to you that he'd given mutual friend a lift? And also why was he running late if he knew he was going to DCs play?

Angelitron · 07/12/2016 07:32

That's a worry, why would he do that?
I would have to ask him, but then I'd also think I needed to watch him closely.

I'd be very upset if my DH had refused to pick me up. Why does he get a car and you the bus? Can you drive?

Original poster
slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 07:35

Angel I don't drive and my job is near the bus stop anyway which is easier to get to than his. He's at work now I will talk to him once he's home .

OP posts:
HammersWidow · 07/12/2016 07:37

I agree with pps who say she's sending you a message

shovetheholly · 07/12/2016 07:38

First of all, his excuse for not picking you up is terrible - under an hour of extra driving does not make you exhausted.

Secondly, the lie is all kinds of suspicious. He clearly really couldn't be arsed with the play and didn't care what message it sent your DD that he wasn't there. He actively chose to give someone else a lift rather than be there. There's something really wrong here - I'm not saying he's having an affair, but his priorities aren't in the right place.

Angelitron · 07/12/2016 07:39

Is the lift lady attractive?

Tootsiepops · 07/12/2016 07:40

I'd have been seriously fucked off if my husband refused to pick me up because the extra 20 mins of driving would make him too tired. Is your partner a very special flower?

Why the ever living fuck are you letting him off with that, let alone then giving someone else a lift and missing your daughter's play?

I'd be seriously, seriously unhappy with that sort of behaviour and would tear him a new one

grumpysquash3 · 07/12/2016 07:40

For most adults, an extra 20 mins driving wouldn't make them 'too tired' to watch a children's play.
[along with what pp have said]

Damia · 07/12/2016 07:45

It could just be his late finish and her normal one were the same time? If he was already too late for the play he could have offered a lift without it meaning anything

Original poster
slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 07:46

Angel lol at 'lift lady' she is quite attractive yes. But she's also very kind and sweet and I don't think she would cheat

OP posts:
Hippywannabe · 07/12/2016 07:48

She might not, but he was completely out of order

KayTee87 · 07/12/2016 07:48

I'm glad you're going to speak to him in case there's a simple explanation however;
Driving 20 minutes wouldn't make anyone too tired to watch a play so he was making up excuses.
It looks like he's prioritised this friend over you and his dc
I would think either friend knows he's lied and wants you to know as she suspects he's interested in her
Or as a pp said maybe they're at it and she's rubbing your face in it
You know them best though, hopefully it's something and nothing.

hesterton · 07/12/2016 07:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 07/12/2016 07:49

I've had lots of lifts from different people over the years. Not once have I text their partners to say thank you though.

Paddingtonthebear · 07/12/2016 07:50

You need to ask him outright. "why didn't you tell me you gave X a lift home the other day when you were running late and missed DD's play?"

RoseGoldHippie · 07/12/2016 07:51

I am leaning to agree with other posters that maybe he was already running late, was going to miss the play anyway so didn't see it an issue to drop someone home (sounds like she is on the way) I don't think I tell DP every time I drop a friend home (male or female) I just wouldn't always think about it.

I would ask the 'texter' what time she got dropped home.

WingsofNylon · 07/12/2016 07:57

So not only did you have to get a bus there but you then had to take a bus home with your dc after the play?
I'd say if it was all innocent and he missed it for genuine reasons then he would have come to pick you both up.

IJustWantABrew · 07/12/2016 08:00

Have you considered he did work late and gave this person a lift on the spur of the moment and didn't want to interrupt the play? All which sound relatively plausible to me

diddl · 07/12/2016 08:01

Even if there is nothing going on, the not picking you up for the sake of 20mins driving?

Selfish arse!

I once locked myself out & my husband drove 45mins home to let me in, had some lunch with me & went back to work.

I would have happily stayed with a friend, but I think he liked the excuse to leave work!

Stillunexpected · 07/12/2016 08:01

But why does this mean he was lying? Am I missing something? He could have left work late, been too late to get to the play, seen colleague walking and given her a lift. She didn't say what time she got home at did she? If it was late, then he had missed the play anyway, right?

SixthSenseless · 07/12/2016 08:03

The refusing to pick you up is very odd. Weren't you pissed off with him over that? Is he often like that?
He may well have given her a lift on the spur of the moment as they were both leaving late, but odd that he ducked out of collecting you.

Original poster
slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 08:04

I'm hoping it was the simple explanation that he was running late anyway but I'm upset he hasn't told me the truth.

OP posts:
EZA15 · 07/12/2016 08:07

The best thing to do is to confront him. It's one thing to say 'no' to you and then help someone else doing the exact same thing but to miss dd's play? You've every right to be fuming (not that you need permission!) plus if he was only 5 minutes away - where did he go?!

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