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Original poster

To be concerned dp lied about this?

222 replies

slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 07:08

Name Changed for this. Me and dp both finish work a similar time on Mondays . He works a 20 min drive from home and and I use the bus which takes 50 mins opposite directions to each other. So seeing as it was dd school play I asked him if he could pick me up and drive me home so I had a bit extra time to get changed. It would work out he would have an extra 20 min journey but I would be home half hour sooner. Sorry if this is confusing. Anyway he said no as the extra driving would make him too tired to go to the play and he doesn't want to miss it. I say ok I understand I will go straight from work to the play and meet him outside the school. I arrive at school he's not there! I text him and he says he has just got out of work and is running and to tell dd he's really sorry! Not the first time he's been out late so think nothing of it and actually feel bad for him that he's missed play. Anyway.... Tuesday morning I get a txt from a mutual friend who works with dp saying ' I'm so grateful your 'dp' gave me a lift home yesterday the weather was awful wasn't it' I was like Shock so he lied and was actually 5 mins from the school anyway! Sorry if this is all confusing but I'm angry

OP posts:
sparklefarts · 07/12/2016 13:36

I was once with a guy who would lie about stupid things because he thought the truth would hurt me. Drove me nuts. Hence he's a ex.
My ex would have lied because he would have felt guilty about giving the orher person a lift when he couldn't give me one and would've thought I wouldn't believe it was a spur of the moment thing and he was being polite to the other person.

BertPuttocks · 07/12/2016 13:38

"He called to see if I'd paid in his cheques as he forgot to remind me this morning"

I hope you told him that you were too tired to do it.

BoopTheSnoot · 07/12/2016 13:42

Tell him to do it himself, you were late finishing something so missed the opportunity to pay them in Wink

rainbowstardrops · 07/12/2016 13:52

I don't think he had any intention of attending DD's play hence why he refused you a lift, worked late and then gave a friend a lift. He was doing his best to avoid it.

Either that or he's a complete arse.
Who would be too tired to watch a kid's play because they've driven for an extra twenty minutes?

ThisThingCalledLife · 07/12/2016 13:56

He called you to test the waters.

Is she angry/pissed off?
Is she going to even mention it?
Your reaction on the phone gives him time to decide how to 'handle' this when he gets home.

He didn't want to be 'inconvenienced' by giving you a lift - very selfish.
He wasn't that arsed about going to the play, if you'd insisted on a lift he would have blamed you for him not going to the play....hence the shitty excuse of being 'tired' if he had to give you a lift Hmm
He was probably planning on finishing work 'late' anyway to get out of it - did he come and pick you both up after?

Guess he got 'lucky' that he bumped into a colleague, the 'weather' giving him a good excuse to offer a lift and avoids going to the play.
He gets what he wants AND he gets to play 'nice guy'...so no one can challenge his motives and actions, or hold him accountable without looking like they are the unreasonable ones.

Him not telling you about the lift just shows how little respect he has for you.

EZA15 · 07/12/2016 13:58

^^ yy to everything ThisThing* has just said

Niloufes · 07/12/2016 14:00

Cheating

mydietstartsmonday · 07/12/2016 14:11

Just out of interest did he come and pick you and DD up in the awful weather after the play.

shovetheholly · 07/12/2016 14:35

I would bet that Thing is spot on.

He didn't want to go to your DD's play. Whether that bothers you or not is up to you. It would piss me off royally!

Bee182814 · 07/12/2016 14:38

Agree with thisthing re testing the waters with a call. My DH doesn't call me during the day, certainly will not answer a call from me either as he is sooooo busy and important...except on days when he intends to go to the pub in the evening Hmm
Also, my DH does things like refusing to do very small favours for me like yours has yet will go out of his way for others. You don't see so bothered by it but I find it really hard to deal with. You have my sympathy for that Brew

Bee182814 · 07/12/2016 14:39

Also, we need to know if he came to pick you both up!!

StiickEmUp · 07/12/2016 14:43

Thing has it right.

Angelitron · 07/12/2016 14:47

I agree he was testing the waters, my DH does this to me and his mother!

I also thi that he just couldn't be arsed. He didn't want to give you a lift or go to the play. He is selfish, he could have left on time for a bloody play.

I think she sent the text to cover herself. I also mention It to friends if I have seen their husband.

I think she mentioned it to him and that is why he called. I wouldn't suspect an affair but I would be troubled by his lack of interest and involvment.

CorkieD · 07/12/2016 15:05

I have no idea whether your DH is cheating or not.

However, the fact that you seemed to be more comfortable sending the querying text to her, and not to your DP, speaks volumes. I think deep down you know something's not right.

Temporaryname137 · 07/12/2016 15:18

Doesn't sound like he's cheating to me. It sounds like he's rather selfish and lazy and willing to lie by omission for an easy life, however.

I think he didn't want to go, which is why he made you get the bus, then stayed at work until it was too late, and offered the friend a lift because of the weather. If he had ever watched "friends", he would have realised that the "chain" in this case was v v short, and he would have been honest, but because that didn't occur to him, he thought he could cover up his selfishness by saying nothing. Now he's been rumbled!

Why does he get a 20 min drive and you get a 50 min bus ride? Can you share that pain at all, or is it impossible with bus routes etc?

monkeywithacowface · 07/12/2016 15:28

This is all very strange and it just doesn't add up. I don't think he had any intention of making the play. I think it's very odd that this woman has also text you about it.

sparklybluelights · 07/12/2016 16:12

I agree with the others.
He phoned you in the middle of the day on the pretext of something else, but what he was really doing was testing the waters - sounding you out to find out whether you're angry and whether he's in the doghouse.
You didn't say anything about it so he thinks he's got away with it.

Viviene12 · 07/12/2016 16:31

I agree with the others - he was testing the waters and is suspecting you know something.
Also, it's horrible of him not to pick you up
20 mins of driving wouldn't have exhausted him. So that was an excuse.
Not to be a spoil sport but someone I know started an affair that exact way - she was given a life home by a married man from her office...
on the other hand it might be nothing and he feels bad about the whole situation so doesn't want to fess up to you.

Stripeyblanket · 07/12/2016 16:49

Can't stand a liar.
I can't believe he would be exhausted from an extra twenty minutes driving. He sounds very selfish OP and his actions are suspicious. I hope he comes clean and has a good explanation when you speak to him.

ChristmasEvePJs · 07/12/2016 16:59

I really hate lies, this would upset me.

Original poster
slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 16:59

Ok thought I should update you all. Once he got home I asked him why he didn't tell me he gave X a lift home and he said that he felt bad for not picking me up and thought I would get annoyed about it. He was running late and seeing as she lives 5 min drive from our house he said he would have seemed mean not to offer her a ride home. I'm still annoyed about it all though

OP posts:
ChristmasEvePJs · 07/12/2016 17:01

But he was 5min from school and not 20min+, why did he lie and say just left work?

Oldbutstillgotit · 07/12/2016 17:06

Are you satisfied with his explanation OP ?

Original poster
slightlypdoff · 07/12/2016 17:08

He knew he wasn't going to make the start of the play and it only lasted about 20 mins. He could have waited for us to come out though as we had to walk home in the rain only a 10 min walk.

OP posts:
BoopTheSnoot · 07/12/2016 17:20

Sorry, but I wouldn't be buying that if I were you

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