I've just howled my eyes out because this morning for the first time in 10 years ...

[Laiste]

... DH gave me a birthday card with no words in it. I mean he wrote in it, but It was one of those no effort .com Moon Pig ones. He openly sets loads of store by the words in cards too and reads them very carefully when it's his own birthday.

[bottom lip wibbles again] :(

I said nothing about it at the time this morning - bottled it up and just cried in the shower. My AIBU is: Should i tell him how it's hurt me when he gets home from work? Or is this one of those things you should just keep to yourself? Am i just being a tit?

(for info. first day of period and i've got PMT and no check on my emotions)

Surely the bit that matters is that he wrote in it?

Disclaimer : I don't really do cards and don't see the point of them most of the time, so I might be missing your point here

If my dh went to this trouble I would think he was having an affair.

Still op if he makes a fuss about cards then he should reciprocate. But confused how coukd it be no words in it and also he wrote in it?

Still rio his head off anyway bastard. Sorry menopausal

Firstly, Happy Birthday!
Secondly, what a bummer to have PMT on your birthday.

I personally hate the birthday cards with pre-written words in them. Its what the sender writes themselves that I think counts.

Maybe see how you feel later? If you are upset though, you should probably tell him you are. Open communication and all that.

I hope you have a lovely day.

Rip not rio unless rio hurts more of course

I'll send on the next one from my mil. Nowt less than 4 pages of nauseating verse will do.

And how much effort really goes into choosing a card, anyhow?

(Happy birthday, btw )

Do you mean he wrote it electronically I'm a bit confused.

I think you may be slightly over thinking it

My ex husband used to write long loving messages in cards. When things got tough the messages became shorter. His last one just had his first name in it. That's when you know you're in trouble!

I did this to Dh this year

He told me he loved the thought but would prefer if I hand wrote it as it added that personal touch

I wasn't offended at all. So I will continue to order a moon pig card but will order it blank from now on

I'm lost

Firstly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY OP!!
Secondly, Maybe slightly BU. He's bought you a card which, having spent a very long time as an avid mumsnet reader and procrastinating in work there are many whos DP/DH forget.
Personally, I don't see the point in cards. Waste of money and a waste of paper. He tried/bothered and remembered. That's the main thing.
Now go eat lots of chocolate and cake!! :)

I don't like moonpig cards either. I like proper written in ones.

I don't see the point in saying anything though, especially if my mood was a bit wobbly anyway. Happy birthday

Do you mind saying what HE wrote in it? Need to understand if he preferred to write something personal himself (and therefore deliberately requested that the card be left blank for him to write his own message), or if it's possible he's got a card quickly and not given it much thought. Or am I misunderstanding and he got Moonpig to print his own words for him?

The fact he places so much value on words in cards (unusual for a bloke in my experience) is significant. It is possible that his intention/sentiment has been badly expressed/conveyed/lost in translation, and if you're feeling hormonal, that's never going to be a good combination. I'm the first to admit I can get myself in a terrible state over something my boyfriend seemingly hasn't done - but in reality he's been plotting something fabulously romantic or whatever... and I end up feeling like a tit - so I tend to give him the benefit of the doubt until I know for sure what his intentions were/are.

What would he normally give you in terms of cards for birthdays? Is this very obviously unusual?

Btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY! :-)

Pretty sure DP hasn't bought me a card for at least 10 years - or a present for that matter (I tend to buy myself something from the joint account, his presents when he does bother are notoriously shit). In fact last year he didn't remember it was my birthday at all until one of the kids told him as he was heading out the door (then I think he picked up some 'reduced for quick sale' flowers on his way home, oh the romance!)!

I would be baffled by someone worrying that I had written something but not 'written' something in a card, sounds a tiny bit needy/princessy? As most people aren't mind readers perhaps approach it as non-confronationally/over-emotionally as you can with him but clearly say that it was something important to you and it made you feel sad, it was unlikely to be his intention presumably?

Hope you have a good day anyway & Happy Birthday!

I understand how you feel as cards are a big deal in my family. But everyone is allowed a mistake/shoddy effort once in a while. So if this is an isolated thing, in that he usually makes an effort, and he hasn't started acting out of character in other ways, I would let this one go. You could always say you were surprised that he changed from his usual style of card choice, but that you liked his personal message (I'm assuming he wrote his own message but the card didn't have a 'verse' in it) and see what he says. There could be all sortsof reasons why he didn't get one this time. If your marriage is otherwise sound, then move on.

Just say Thank You.

I often buy that type of card, simply because often they are an awful lot less sentimental and icky than the ones with messages in.

You do sound a bit hard work op. There must be more to it than a birthday card?

Is this a joke?

Thank you every one. I'm going to xpost with loads.

I totally agree, the big gushy wordy cards are personally not my thing either. I too would rather write a lovely few words i've thought up myself.

But - the thing is HE doesn't think this - i know because we've chatted about it lots of times, he sets great store on the words and usually gives big gushy 4 page cards AND a slushy bit from him. And i send them to him and he sits and reads them carefully and loves it.

This year it was a tiny moon pig job, blank.

(He has written: Love you loads and loads, with loads of kisses all about)

I want to tell him I've cried but i don't want to seem like a stupid child and i don't want to spoil a meal out.

I think i'm being a tit. I am being a tit.

I'm confused, do you mean those awful pre printed poems in the middle?

But he DID write in it. Which takes more effort and thought than letting Moonpig do it. And I designing your own card on Moonpig AND making sure it arrived on time shows a bit more thought than running into Clintons at the last minute.

When you say no effort do you mean he didn't upload a picture and re-write the generic greeting.

Moon pig is for very very busy people (my BIL is obviously one) or people like my mum who can't manage to the postbox so likes one service to do all.

Well you know your dh and if this is wildly out of character or not. I can see where you're coming from

OohhThatsMe i guess thats what's upset me. The down scaling. Its HIM that likes the big flashy cards.