I've just howled my eyes out because this morning for the first time in 10 years ...

[Laiste]

... DH gave me a birthday card with no words in it. I mean he wrote in it, but It was one of those no effort .com Moon Pig ones. He openly sets loads of store by the words in cards too and reads them very carefully when it's his own birthday.

[bottom lip wibbles again] :(

I said nothing about it at the time this morning - bottled it up and just cried in the shower. My AIBU is: Should i tell him how it's hurt me when he gets home from work? Or is this one of those things you should just keep to yourself? Am i just being a tit?

(for info. first day of period and i've got PMT and no check on my emotions)

There not badly priced actually

Costs around £3

Alan Sugar puts 'best wishes from Alan Sugar' on his wife's birthday card.

What got deleted

Happy Birthday to you.
Happy Birthday to you.
Now please stop crying OP
Its not all about you

Morris ok...how do you know that? Am fascinated and intrigued.

OP; birthdays are an emotional minefield. I swear it's also inevitable that PMT will rear it's head on such a day regardless of where your cycles at.

Capes I'm so sorry but that card made me weep with laughter...i had similar from my now XH. X for a reason....

I don't think YABU to be upset, you can't help being upset over it.

BUT .... gawd why do people care so much about cards and the like?!

I have no interest in cards and have never bought one for my OH, or vice versa.

HOWEVER, if he usually does big ones and it's important to him, and then randomly this year hasn't, I would ask him why. I think crying in the shower is pretty weird, but I mean, if he always does one thing and then does another, of course I'd ask about it. Just, in a non-tearful way.

Alan Sugar puts 'best wishes from Alan Sugar' on his wife's birthday card.

I'm going to start doing that! I might even write "Alan Sugar" instead of my name.

Me too Jurassic!

I've just been handed a condolence card to sign though so I might save 'Best wishes from Alan Sugar' for the next one.

I don't give cards for christmas or birthdays. I only give cards for special occasions (weddings, births, congrats on job etc) and then I make it myself. If anyone ever told me I'd wronged or offended them by not giving/ giving the wrong card/ not including the right message, I'd laugh so hard at them we'd never speak again (so everyone wins).

Why on earth do people care about the contents of a card?

You've talked about his preference for Hallmark cheesefest extravaganzas being different to your preference for simple, hobest, brief heartfelt personal messages and he's listened and changed what he sends in order to suit your taste

That is better than ignoring your taste and sending you what he likes isn't it?

People who send others things they like and value and take no account of the fact the recipient has told them they like and value very different things are self absorbed and far less considerate than those who send cards/ gifts chosen to please the recipient...

*hobest = honest..

What did he write if he didn't write words?

I don't really need pre-fabricated, second-hand, off-the-shelf wording in my cards. Much more interested in what the card-giver has actually written themselves.

Beans it's ok I can laugh now, I was an emotional wreck on the day and ripped it up and threw it away
But it was just another nail in the coffin of that relationship, in a functional one is have probably found it hilarious

Do people really write loads in cards?
I always just put:
^"Dear X,
Happy birthday!
__ Wyf"^
The only bit that changes is the sign off (from / love / loads of love) depending on my relationship to the person.

And this:
You've talked about his preference for Hallmark cheesefest extravaganzas being different to your preference for simple, hobest, brief heartfelt personal messages and he's listened and changed what he sends in order to suit your taste

he sets great store on the words and usually gives big gushy 4 page cards AND a slushy bit from him. And i send them to him and he sits and reads them carefully and loves it.

Speak to him about it tomorrow. "Love, you usually write gushy 4 page cards, and to be honest I was really upset yesterday by what you gave me. Is everything OK?"

I was engaged to a man who was always elaborate and a little OTT with cards. Didn't even have to be for an occasion just cards and romantic "Happy Tuesday/Wednesday/weekend/whatever.. I love you darling" that sort of thing.

He not only had a thing going with a girl at work but also, with his ex wife. All the cards meant diddly-squat.

My DH now, sends a plain card with his initial and a kiss. I need now't else.

OP, I think you might as well ask your DH because it's upset you so much and you need to clear the air and move on.

Ah, bloody hormones, they can turn anything shire, and usually ( for me) man he mountains out of mole hills.
Hope you enjoy the rest of your birthday x

Yeah, moonpig is a lot of effort! WAAAY more than choosing a card in a store.

Looks like hormones affected my post! Mountains out of mole hills I mean

I can spend ages on Moonpig trying to pick a card that I think is suitable picture-wise. I then spend ages at home trying to think of something meaningful to say. It usually ends up as 'Happy Birthday, have a great day' It doesn't mean I don't care, it just means I'm crap at picking emotional words that don't sound crap to the average person. (I do just fine writing the ones to the pets!)

I'm another lover of moonpig. Depends how you use it of course but if you're going for a personalised option it can take aaages. I did one of those mock newspaper pages for bil once, took so long to think up all the appropriate headlines and find several photos that fitted. Far more effort than buying off the shelf schmaltz in Clintons.

Bloody hell.

If that's the worst thing that's happened to you in 10 years, I wouldn't feel too sorry for yourself

Try and get a bit of perspective, then hopefully your day will get a bit better.

For all the people asking what, if anything, he wrote in the card, the OP said:-
"He has written: Love you loads and loads, with loads of kisses all about"

Given that, I'm practically speechless at the OP crying her eyes out.

When I've bought someone a moonpig card, that means:
a) i thought about their birthday (or whatever) in advance
b) spent hours choosing the exact one they would like and probably even longer uploading photos of them to personalise it.
c) was prepared to pay a rip off price for it.

Frankly I think you've got a fab DH! OTOH, my family prefer funny cards and only buy soppy type ones as a joke (eg my dad bought "To my darling wife I love so so very much you are like a rare pearl or some such bollocks) so maybe I am not the right person to ask.

Outwardly I sneer at the big gushy verses. But when I'm looking for one for my mom or sister I always end up crying in the shop and having to phone them to tell them I love them

Happy birthday OP

Send him a card with this in:

Husband it's a well known fact that you cards
That are slushy and homeric
So what the fuck is going on
With a card that's bland and generic?