To be furious the teacher told my ten year old she stinks?

[madsymads]

Family meal yesterday at an Indian restaurant. Might have been a bit heavy on garlic and spices.

DD was quiet when I picked her up today (she had been to after school club) and then suddenly started crying. I of course asked what was wrong and she said that this morning she had gone up to her teachers desk to ask something and the teacher (DD demonstrated) pulled a face and said 'ew, go and sit down, get away from me. What have you eaten? It smells awful.'

Obviously this led to quite a lot of unkind comments all day.

Completely inappropriate. Or AIBU?

But really what is the point.

I agree with you, but I don't make those choices for others. I find the 'you need to' language formulation quite infantilising, so I avoid it personally and it always jumps out at me when others use it.

Have you spoken to the teacher yet OP?

Op what did the teacher say?

A person who needs to be told that a 10 year old will be upset if you tell them them they are too smelly to be near you in earshot of their peers has a social handicap so serious that they can't be trusted with the care of children.

You are probably talking setious learning difficulties for that level of inability to see the bleeding obvious.

Or someone who is a bit of a nasty cunt at heart.

It's one of the other.

There is no other explanation for an adult talking in that way to a child in their care.

The options are

1 unable to operate on a normal social basis

2 horrible

But I'm very much enjoying how we are not allowed to speculate on what she said, but it is totally reasonable to speculate with considerable certainty about what she thought.

"What she said was terrible, but I'm certain she has a pure heart and only humiliates children and leads classroon bullying by total accident and that it doesn't matter if the odd 10 year old gets known as the stinky kid for the rest of her schooldays. No big deal what harm is done to a child as long as the adult didn't actually plan it but jus5 caused it through carelessness, stupidity, and incompetence. Anyway, if the child is sad it's her mother's fault for not teaching her to be resilient to bullying by adults."

As the OP was so furious about the incident, if that teacher had made comments before that upset her child, or was known for being mean and nasty, then I think the OP would have probably mentioned it to support her case. The fact she didn't speaks volumes to me about this as a one-off incident.

Anyway, OP hasn't returned. It maybe that she is waiting to speak to the teacher still. However, OPs who intend to return usually post back to say they will, or to say there is a delay. Often OPs who don't return over AIBU threads, who have gone off to gather more info don't return, because the extra info throws a lot of light on the issue, which suggests they did over react in their fury.....the extra info showed up that events weren't quite as reported, the nasty person not quite so nasty as first thought. They don't return, becaus who really wants to return and say that theirs was an over reaction and actually everything is now pretty much okay....especially when so many on the thread are clearly just hoping for the worst case scenario and would love to hear that there are nasty people out there and that it is possible to go in and complain and get them removed from their jobs. Often the reality is just so much less exciting.

Who knows why the OP hasn't returned. It might for these kind of reasons or others. Perhaps she will at a later point or not. Anyway, I hope it all turns out to be a storm in a teacup and that when and if this transpires, the girl feels a sense of relief and moves on from it. If it doesn't turn out to be quite a storm in a teacup, then I also hope the girl is able to deal with what happened in a constructive way, so it doesn't have a longer term impact on her than it needs.

Still no update :(

Come on, OP!

I don't think we are going to get an update. I suspect that what her dd said did not marry up with what the teacher actually said.

I really don't understand why people create a thread asking for advice/help people take the time out to comment then the OP disappears.

it didn't happen

"ChampsMum

I really don't understand why people create a thread asking for advice/help people take the time out to comment then the OP disappears."

It happens a lot. Think it says a great deal about them, frankly. If they make it up - omg, I wouldn't like to live in their heads. Scary. What a way to spend your time.

Some are made up, by people who want to create a big of disagreement and somehow thrive on seeing they have done that.
Others aren't made up, but the OP doesn't return because either they realise they have been unreasonable as the thread progresses, but don't want to admit it....or because it is a situation that requires more info (like the one here...OP said she was seeing the teacher) and the extra info once received supports what a number of posters said, that the OP hadn't been very willin to hear......I talk about this issue of why OPS often do t return, a few posts upthread.

I always caveat my comments about this kind of thing, with, perhaps this is why the OP didn't return...or not. We don't know. She might still return although it's increasingly unlikely....and we might hear a full account of the outcome, or not be told exactly what transpired. Most people don't like to say that yes, they were very unreasonable, even when they realise they were!

I think I pointed out fairly early on that I was suspicious

got a bollocking too