To ask if anyone keeps geese? And if so, what's their fucking problem?

[BastardGoDarkly]

Just that really

We've got a smallish geese farm out the back of us, and they always seem to be kicking off about something!? I only notice it around now, when I'm in bed and it's quiet. What's up with them?

Your title made me laugh but I wish I had not seen the teeth posted on here.

Jesus chickadee what are they made out of??!

I'm going to post a photo of my backyard bastards tomorrow.

Geese were used in ancient Rome as guard animals to warn of attack. We used to have geese. There's no getting round them - they happily bite the hand that feeds them and once we saw them out of the window chasing off a fox. They went for the soft inner thigh on one of my friends and made her dance about screaming. Best way to treat them is to grab them by the neck, but you're in trouble if there's more than two because you only have two hands. The ungrabbed one can do the inner thigh thing. Our last remaining goose got reasonably friendly and used to come and knock on our back door with its beak to be fed.

The military ought to use hem. I was corned by 6 of the really big bastards (think each was about 8 foot tall) when I was in the RAF and had to be rescued by a crack special forces unit the last bit is in my imagination reality is just some scrawny geek fellow RAF people

We have geese at the bottom of our garden but not one of them - NOT ONE - has ever laid me a golden egg. Bastards.

What do you expect from a creature that is probably directly descended from a Tyrannosaurus Rex??

That ! ^That!!

Geese are the reason I left the girl guides.

They lurked, with intent, in the lane between me and the hut,

Doing your best, and duty to Queen, God, Country and so on and so forth is all well and good. But there was no fucking mention of any obligation to run a weekly gauntlet of flapping, hissing, leg attacking, malevolent thugs.

Bastardy creatures.

I live in the Netherlands where (as you've probably heard) there are lots of canals. They have the ugliest, mangiest-looking grey bastard geese ever - in plague numbers!!! Perfect habitats for evil, feathery fuckers to hang around. Dutchies are not fond of animal cruelty, but also not fond of giant, shitting avian thugs over-populating their country and yelling at tourists. They have these unmarked trucks that stop in parks, on farms, by the sides of the road, etc. and they open the back, herd them in and shut the door. Thousands of the buggers are locked into these trucks and then gassed, people! Very WWII, people!

They seem to have a lot of disagreements that involve trying to bite each other on the arse. Not sure why though. And they're incredibly noisy first thing in the morning.

Isn't that a dentata?

My neighbour was very indignant as she'd left her door open and a goose walked inside and SHAT in her kitchen!

vanilla

And cracking up at 'malevolent thugs ' that's them, to a T

My best friends think playschool was a goose.
Notorious bastard apparently, but even then that was a gauntlet thrown. Nobody could cause me any harm at all, he was my shadow until the fox got him

I did have to out-swan a swan once. He was threatening my DS who was about 4. I had to hiss and flap and make myself large

Not sure who was more confused; DS or swan.

Ducks with Flick knives had me proper laughing! 😂

My farmer neighbour had free range geese. One was the ultimate guard bastard, attacking anyone that dared to park in the shared car park, drive of public road. He particularly disliked men and was on the post office's as I list of dangerous animals!

Asbo list! My phone doesn't like that. Must be a goose supporter!
Oddly the goose seemed to like my son. I think it was a shared enthusiasm for watching the poor sods being attacked and chased by him!

A goose with an asbo! Funniest thing I've heard in ages!