To ask if anyone keeps geese? And if so, what's their fucking problem?

[BastardGoDarkly]

Just that really

We've got a smallish geese farm out the back of us, and they always seem to be kicking off about something!? I only notice it around now, when I'm in bed and it's quiet. What's up with them?

I think swans and geese work together...the swans break your limbs then the geese go in for the kill

this might not be true

I'm chuckling out loud at this thread. I've always thought it would be nice to have room for geese and goats and chickens but in actual fact that's a farmyard forensic psychiatric unit isn't it? And the sea of shit that that would produce....yeah never mind.

I think you're on to something there, TyneTeas. The feathery fuckers are plotting to overthrow us.

We had pet geese when I was young. Lovely pets and great company - they would follow us round the garden and peer in our windows in the evening to watch what we were watching on TV. They did like chasing the postman every morning but they always gave him a head start, never caught up with him, waited patiently at the front door while he chatted to my mum, then gave him a head start again when he headed back to his van. (Postman thought they were funny, not threatening.)

The gander liked to flap his wings and hiss at us sometimes but the thing to do was to stand your ground and flap your outstretched arms back at him - then he would back down.

They were very messy, however, totally rubbish parents, and despite being supposedly great "guard-dogs" they slept through the two occasions when we had stuff pinched from our garden.

I would actually be tempted to have geese as pets again if I had the right place to keep them. Maybe ours weren't typical though!

DH gets attacked by geese everytime he is anywhere near them. We went to Haggerston Castle not long ago and there are geese roaming round the parks. We (me and kids) walked past them no problem, right next to them while he slunk off to the other side of the road trying to sneak past, then a gaggle (?) of them shot across the road with their wings out and he had to run yet again. So glad he doesn't have a bird phobia or anything, but if this happened to me I think I would be terrified. I have no idea why he is so attractive to geese

Seems like the geese in our park are unusual, they even tolerate dogs! and crazy toddler DS

PinkSparkly Egyptian geese aren't actually geese; they're ducks - shelducks, to be exact. They're very devoted parents.

beaky blinders :)

So what's the point in keeping geese? I presume most people aren't fattening them up for Christmas so why would you put yourself through it? They sound evil.

Soubriquet I thought turtles were vegetarian?! Why have they got mouths like that? It's the stuff of nightmares!

Oh, and swans definitely, I remember being around 5 and feeding swans at the park, one came out and grabbed hold of my duffle coat! My Mam was laughing as she had hold of my hand, but I was shitting myself! Bully boy bastards.

The cockerel will crow in a minute, and wake them all up, so they'll be honking like loons for the next hour.

I was also nearly drowned by a swan. I was feeding it and the highly ungrateful bastard copped hold of my hand and dragged me into the lake. My grandad couldn't help me for laughing.

bastards. both of them.

WankingMonkey I have the same issue as your DH, I'm convinced they have some kind of secret marker on me. They can pick me out of a crowd as someone to attack. Bastard Cunts.

Made myself wheezy from laughing so much. Still in bed. Will have to get up for a drink.
These stories are hilarious.
Go to the Lakes. Especially Bowness on Windermere and I think it might confirm your idea Tyne teas
I have chickens. They are great at going to bed...better than children. I have no intention of getting geese ( there are some in the village) especially after reading this thread!
Love watching them fly. I saw some on Sunday.

Hah! Best thread title I've seen in weeks

Geese are bastards. I still have a scar on my finger from when I was wee and one turned on me at a pond and savaged me.

I pass a goose and turkey farm on one of my dog walks and as I pass they all rush the fence like a crowd of football hooligans and gob off at me as I scuttle past. One of my dogs is a bit lairy and gets in swearing competitions with them, but if the fence disappeared I wouldn't fancy our chances. It'd be like the scene out of Jurassic Park in the car with the compys.

freshwater that's so funny

I did a paperound as a teen and still have nightmares about the bloody geese on one of the farms. Guard dogs with wings. I used to dread that particular property in a morning. Two of em used to chase me up the lane. Fuckers.

My secondary school kept geese on their farm, I have vivid memories of them chasing me and trying to bite my private area

They really are the devil incarnate.

For what it's worth, Juno's sacred geese saved Rome in 390BC.

MadamDrag0n your farmyard forensic psychiatric unit needs some sheep too. They are always looking for new and interesting ways to die. And the hoggets are absolute thugs. My husband went in to feed some once and they butted him in the back of his legs until he fell over, then nicked the feed off him.

My Canada geese flew away about 5 weeks ago and I miss the cheeky buggers! We've had other geese overnight on our lake too but it's not the same.

Can't wait until February when they come back!

Oh and the goose wars when we had 3 couples fighting for the prime nesting location was something to see (if a bit disturbing)

I got mugged by a goose once. Bastard stole my lunch.

Geese are cunts.

We have ponies. My best friend owns the yard where we livery and loves fucking geese. The last one died about 4 years ago. I had a bruise the size of a watermelon inside my thigh for months off that fucker.

Anyway we found a poultry auction a few miles away from our house a few months ago. Bf was working so asked me to go and buy some chickens and a couple of guard geese for the yard.

I came home with 5 chickens and 2 ducklings instead. Said there weren't any geese and she had to make do with the ducks.

There were fucking loads of the wankerbastards there but no way was I bringing her a couple.

They might be gits but it's wonderful seeing a skein of geese flying in a V formation all honking away. Makes me feel a bit teary

It makes me teary too Gatekeeper. There is a nature reserve and a lake at the back of our house.

Every dawn and dusk at this time.of year they fly from one place to another honking away. Fuckers wake me up at about 6am every morning.