To ask if anyone keeps geese? And if so, what's their fucking problem?

[BastardGoDarkly]

Just that really

We've got a smallish geese farm out the back of us, and they always seem to be kicking off about something!? I only notice it around now, when I'm in bed and it's quiet. What's up with them?

I know they are hard bastards but when you taste that good you've got to be handy.

My DP is big and tough, isn't scared of mini beasts or big dogs, but absolutely shat his pants one day when a goose 'growled' at us as we passed it on a canal path. The thing fucking ran at us with its wings up, we both nearly ended up in the water.

They really are bastards. When I was a kid there were a couple of white ones at the stables I rode at and generally got dumped at for the whole of Saturday mornings. They chased and harassed us mercilessly.

As a grown up, I tried to get my own back on some Canada geese, which to be fair are generally more pleasant fowl, by chasing them on my horse. The bastards flew at our heads instead of scattering and I nearly came off when my mare spun and legged it. That'll teach me.

Peaky blinders is a good description. Like ducks with flick knives.

How hungry would a fox have to be to have a go at a flock of geese? That would be one badass fox, possibly armed.

People who still incomprehensibly feel affection for geese despite their many many character flaws may enjoy Fly By Night by Frances Hardinge in which our heroine goes everywhere with a homicidal goose called Saracen who wreaks havoc wherever he goes.

If geese were dogs they'd be a banned breed.

Brilliant thread

OMG, I used to live somewhere where they had geese. The fuckers would regularly chase me to my apartment then wait outside to see if I'd come out again and if I opened the door they'd all raise their wings and start their clacking while running towards me.

Geese are cunts.

I read online that the reason Canadians have a reputation for being friendly and polite is that once a month during the full moon they all go outside and perform a ritual that channels all their rage and spite into the geese

Lol they are in the park near me house. Bloody things chase you and are really noisy.

Millions of the buggers here, all currently flying South.

I was once over-run by swans. Not good my friends. Not good.

Swans are psycho bastards. There was a massive one that lurked and went for us every time we went in and out of the cabin at centerparcs. We'd open the curtains in the morning and he'd be there looking in.

whippetwoman I read that as run over by swans. Got very confused for a moment.

They are very hissy and peckish but I quite like their naughtiness. We go on holiday to a park that has freely wandering geese and they can be loud and aggressive but if you speak to them firmly and don't move too quickly they are quite safe to be around. I think they could give a nasty bite if they felt threatened though.

I am hard as nails.

But Geese scare me

Fortunately I have a goose killing spangle.

I was once late for work because I couldn't get past the geese in the car park, casually hanging out between my car and the office entrance.

Also one scared my sister & she nearly fell into the Norfolk Broad we were boating on. She never really got over that.

Angry twats, Geese.

Geordie swans must be soft as clarts, then. I gulped when DS2 started jumping and flapping and shouting in front of one the other week. I was expecting it to go for him, but, instead, it must have thought "fucking psycho brat" and sloped off.

PovertyPain, I too read that as run over by swans, didn't click that whippetwoman hadn't said that until I read your post . Funnily, I didn't even question it. I could totally picture someone being mown down by a swarm of malevolent swans.

The swans in the park are fine.

Hmm, maybe mown down by a murder of malevolent swans? I know that a murder is actually crows, but it feels rather fitting as a collective noun for swans.

See? You just need to give them a defined role in society, then they're little treasures

I would love to see that MadHatter! They are adorable there