to ask what's the popular Mumsnet advice you think is bollocks? [edit: lighthearted added at OP's request]

[CoolToned]

Game.

Responding to anything with a "tinkly laugh"

What's a tinkly laugh?

No is a complete sentence.

Saying 'did you mean to be so rude'

Well fuck yes they probably did. Please don't ever it.

'Leave him with the kids and go for a spa day'

No, fuck spas. Go to the pub and get smashed.

Call the police

For everything!

Log it with 101.

"Can you look for an extra job? Dog walking, paper rounds or taking in ironing?"

"Can you move up north?"

Report them/him/her

'Head tilt.'

You'll look like a twat with a cricked neck.

Zoflora.

'What you are poor? Learn to drive and you can do all kinds of jobs'

'Oh you are poor? Do peoples ironing for money? Walk their dog? Sell your soul and kidneys on eBay'

Fucking toilet brushes

What is this zoflora everyone talks about?

"can you outsource?"

"call the police!"

"just change the locks!"

There are probably more

'Have you considered childminding?'

As though it's an absolute doddle and all SAHMs should do it for a bit of extra cash. It's a vocational, demanding and overwhelming career that is not for everybody.

Toilet brushes are evil

"Show him this thread" Yeah - because I really want him to read in black and white that I think he's a philandering small-dicked mommy's boy with a God complex don't I

"No he can't be cheating, he doesn't have the time"....

Complain to Ofsted and/or the Governors.

A&E now.

It's no wonder the NHS is at breaking point.

Buy a slow cooker

Fine if you want slop for tea every night 😂

"My baby wakes up every 2 hours throughout the night and I'm exhausted and at the end of my tether."

"Oh just co-sleep, then you'll be fine."

Get a cleaner.

Because everyone can afford one, obviously.

Fanjos are Alf cleaning