to ask what's the popular Mumsnet advice you think is bollocks? [edit: lighthearted added at OP's request]

[CoolToned]

Game.

Get a cleaner

"No is a complete sentence"
"Your baby your rules"

Get a babysitter or your parents to look after your DC while you go out - yeah, like one night out is going to sort out all your marital problems and make that arse of a DH sit up and take note of his arseness

Ltb

Never any shades of grey here.

LTB - when some posters have grabbed an OP's minor irritants and blown them so magnificently out of proportion that they probably no longer recognize their own life.

"Yes , I can pick up Sammy from school and look after him till 8pm, my fee is £15/hour" and I'm not a Regstered CM so that is not even legal

Block Them In/ Ask your NDN to Block Them In.

LTB. Seems like the preference above working on a relationship.

99.99% of the advice to tenants facing eviction.

Demand to see the head (about lost jumper/teacher looking at kid funny/book band)

Generally any legal advice given when the OP lives in Scotland

"Don't allow anyone to visit for two weeks after the baby is born."

Cue two sets of seriously hurt and embarrassed Grandparents and relationships which will never be quite the same again.

"Show them this thread" - yeah,that won't go down like a lead balloon.

"Can't you learn to drive?" - because learning to drive and then insuring a car as a first time driver is so cheap these days.

"Leave your hungover, possibly still drunk partner with the dc and go to a spa for the day" - top parenting

'Have a cup of hot sweet tea'

Er...no. I like my tea sugarless, so this would not make me feel any better.

I'm a big fan of spas (and not just for a day) but even I can see they are not exactly going to solve people's relationship or emotional problems. If only.

LTB

What MitfordHons said.

Get a sling

How exactly do those with no bog brush scrape the shite out of their loo?

Same here FloatyFlo

I'd vomit everywhere if I had a cup of hot, sweet tea!

You never regret the children you have.

Actually, some people do.

"Pack his bags, leave them on the drive and change the locks" - Yeah because he's just going to give up his home and move on immediately?

"Go to bed and lock him out" - Yeah because he's not going to wake up the kids and the whole street, by banging the door down.

Don't cook, wash, clean for , be nice to your teen.

I know the answer to this betty having poured over the bog brush threads trying to fathom it!!! Apparently you lay toilet paper all around the bowl so the poo goes on that instead of the ceramic.

Yes, I decided loo brushes were here to stay as well...

"My six month old baby wakes every hour and feeds every half hour, round the clock, and has done since birth" --> "this is normal baby behaviour"

"My bra size is 34B" --> "no it is 26GG"

Yes ltb, no unless he is actually abusive, otherwise work on your relationship.

it's not flu if you can move a few fingers to post a message to mn on a phone screen.
grrr.