to ask what's the popular Mumsnet advice you think is bollocks? [edit: lighthearted added at OP's request]

[CoolToned]

Game.

AIBU to feel upset when my parents/IL's wouldn't help out with the DC when I had to go into hospital for life saving surgery?

Yes YABU your parents/IL's are completely within their rights to say no, they have done their child rearing and you shouldn't expect them to help you out

Controlled crying is child abuse - really?

'They are only young once, it all goes so quickly, they are far too little for school, discipline, homework etc' ................ yes but it's a long, long time until they grow up. Then as soon as your DC is 18 - 'they are an adult, they can do whatever they want'.

LTB 99% of the time is sound advice. It rarely gets "trotted out" - it's usually to women in very abusive and unequal relationships. Same with NC.

Anyone in London with a financial issue is usually told to move up north because that would solve all their problems right?

Woman wanting to leave relationship = independent, self-actualising, being so strong.

Man wanting to leave relationship = arse, selfish, definitely cheating.

Hardly, ritchy. My DP's job is very specialised and only really exists in London.

LTB.

Really? Has no one ever tried to work through their problems?

Also - it isn't a given that every single man is cheating. It really isn't.

I get very upset with the 'turn around is fair play' type advice. You know

"DH never puts his socks in the laundry basket"
"Well, you should put all your dirty underwear into his briefcase and see how he likes it"

This is NEVER going to solve ANY problem. It will just escalate and make matters worse.
I wonder if the posters who suggest this really mean it, have ever done it successfully, or even expect the OP to follow the advice.

And any advice that starts with "You should have......"

Rozdeek I think that's exactly what Ritchy meant - that suggestions to 'just move' are bad advice!

Re toilet brushes.... Duck do a great 'disposable head' one. That's how I get around not having a traditional one harbouring whole manner of yuck 😝

""Well, you should put all your dirty underwear into his briefcase and see how he likes it""

I agree that this is terrible advice for nurturing a cooperative relationship, but there is actually no good advice on here, or in the world, for both staying in a relationship and getting a man who is not that way inclined to pull his weight. Therefore the two different kinds of advice on this tend to skew one way or other other: 1. be nice, put up and shut up, do you want to break the family up over this? or: 2. Don't put up with it, demonstrate strongly that you won't put up with it (and then deal with the fallout which may be that you are not in a working relationship any more)

I tried to do 1. but my natural tendencies not to be a door mat took over and it turned into 2. almost against my will

there are posters who waffle about a hypothetical 3: "sit down with him. Tell him how you feel. Draw up lists and charts of responsibilities.Etc." this has never ever worked for more than about a week and EVEN THEN the woman is still doing the work: she has "promoted" herself into a difficult unpaid management / training position with a team who want neither management nor training and will bitterly resist. Hm, not one that I would be hastily applying for.

Sorry ritchy - I misunderstood your post!!!

I echo a poster way upthread about all the 'bide your time and gather evidence' advice if a poster thinks their partner is cheating.

WHY? A partnership isn't a court of law! No - tell them you think they're bloody well cheating. Then if they can't or wont put your mind properly at rest then someone's bags are getting packed. And tell them that as well! If DH thought i was cheating i'd want him to tell me so i could put everything right. I'd be horrified, but not as horrified as i would be if i found he'd been suspicious of me for weeks and doing some kind of private detective impression.

Go for it, you'll work it out, nobody regrets another baby.

When the op posted that she has 4 children, dp has 4 with 3 different mums, neither of them work as they were made redundant and they have a 2 bed terrace.

Completely agree with your post Maudlin. The women who are told to LTB have usually done everything they can to make the relationship work.

That's alright Roz. I too have one of those jobs that doesn't exist outside London and 2 or 3 other international cities. (awaits to be told that there will be similar jobs in Morpeth)

It's illegal to open mail that isn't addressed to you!

'If you don't like noise from your neighbours you should have bought a detached house'.

Because it's actually that easy isn't it.

That you won't sound odd if you say "did you mean to be so rude".

That all cases of influenza involve delirium

I've also never really understood what makes a complaint "formal" rather than informal, and I have never actually seen anyone suggest a spa day, only posts about what daft advice it is.

Oh, and the "unmumsnetty hug" is now a defining feature of mumsnet.

Er, so that wasn't really answering the question. More a rant about things that irritate me. Cathartic though.

'My midwife and doctor have advised me against a home birth and want me to go into hospital, but that's not what I want.'

Which is then followed by lots of posts condemning the meanie health care professionals for trying to stop the OP from having her lovely home birth, and anecdotes about some person they know who was in the same position, stuck to their guns and had a perfectly straightforward birth.

Not just bad advice, potentially horrifically dangerous advice.

I hate the ones about not having visitors after a baby - how mean to not have your own parents!

I had my 3rd baby at home at 5am (unexpectedly) so MIL was present at birth as had come to do childcare for the eldest 2 and I rang my parents immediately and they brought lunch! I was dying for them to meet my baby!

I appreciate if you have a difficult birth that you do need to take some time and feel comfortable but the "no visitor" thing is trotted out like it's 'official' advice! It's becoming the 'wait til 12 weeks' of the newborn stage!

"Get your own back by buying yourself X on his credit card."

When the OP is posting in despair because they are broke and their DH has just spent their food money for the next two weeks at the pub/on gear.

"get your own back" is NEVER good advice

Ah yes, DH has a job that means we are stuck in the south east - although there is one employer in Manchester that would need 1 person with his skill set, there's a couple in Edinburgh, one in Yorkshire, so technically we could move if one of those jobs became empty, and then if he would have to stay in the same job forever or we'd have to all uproot the family to change employer - in London/SE there's 20+ companies who need at least 1 of his role, most have a couple, so he could move jobs and that doesn't involve selling the house...

But no, if I tried I could move the family up north...

And on the flip side of that - someone saying they are miserable at work is told to "just move jobs", without acknowledging after a certain level, outside of the south east moving jobs can involve relocating the family or taking a step down/doing a completely new role.

Most advice on parking threads!

Having been plagued by parking problems myself, I've researched this extensively and there's shockingly little you can legally do. Doing anything to prevent the car's owner from moving their vehicle is an offence, as is any kind of "damage", even if that damage is only temporary (e.g. a message scrawled in lipstick on the windscreen). Those kind of suggestions still get trotted out regularly though.