To start a TWELFTH thread that nobody responds to?

[AverageGayLad]

See that? A Twelfth. Not the.

Welcome to the twelfth (it DOES look a weird word ) thread that nobody responds to! We're a fun bunch, the most fun on mumsnet!! I cba to list everyone and who they are, but I'm sure newbies will get to know us through our posts A couple of quotes from posters, which will have to do as opposed to me writing a description of everyone:

I'd like the words mysterious, mystical and endowed with supetnatural powers after my name please, AGL. says Bettercallsaul1

MyDressIsInferiorBlue adds:
Get a battery operated rabbit they are less trouble than a man but can still thrust (and always on demand too, unlike a man)

AGL I'd like the words 'hot', 'intellectual' and 'witty' after my name, please. No 'flouncing', 'dunno' or 'Co-Op Boy' (the latter is well and truly over). says ItShouldHaveBeenJess, as well as being quoted telling us:
I'd be happy with a thrust. Just one.

Let the insane posts, photos and pouting begin!

FFS I NEED BLOODY CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!

I asked DH to fetch me a big bar of Galaxy home with him earlier, and he didn't!!!!!

I even had SEX with him last night and no fucking chocolate as a thank you.

I'm dying here!!! I NEEEEEEED
CHOCOLATE DAMMIT!!!!

Red did you ever POAS?

He's just taking to kids to MIL for the night. He better be fetching me chocolate home!!!!!!

Was he unaware of this barter system, Red?

Better
rnli.org/shorething/Pages/default.aspx

Omg. For the female parents among us. Do you ever have the sensation of a baby kicking inside??!! Despite not being pregnant??!!! 🙈

Sex yes please

AGL. What is POAS? And the box cutting malarkey or whatever it's called?

(am feeling old today)

cc I do like a sensation

No AGL i haven't POAS yet. I'm kind of ignoring it at the moment. Once the kids are back in school this week I'll pop to town and get one.

I have just finished a Fry's chocolate cream, which was divine. OH buys multipacks of chocolate for me when he goes to the supermarket. I have him well-trained

Jess Piss On A Stick

carb. I've had that! Tis really freaky! Should probably lay of the Chinese takeaways...

Better I'm sure it was one of the vows in our wedding:

"Do you, MrRed promise to provide copious amounts of chocolate for sexual acts as and when MrsRed can be bothered, and whenever MrsRed demands chocolate?"

"I do"

Thanks, Portia - I didn't realise it was called Shorething. So another volunteery thing to add to our list!

Should probably lay off co-op boy you mean Jess

portia. Piss on a stick? As in a pregnancy test or a random stick? Definitely need more sleep.

In that case, Red, I'm afraid you have no choice but to LTB

CC yes. I looked into it on Dr google and it's common. Its just little muscle twitches, which you've always had occasionally but can notice more once you've had a baby.

Co Op Boy. Sigh. Shirtless and outside my window....

Well I'll give him this last chance to fetch me chocolate, and if he doesn't I'll have to drive to the shop and get it myself LTB!!!

Better I was a lifeguard but can't run fast enough now.

CC i get it too. I swear I'm pregnant. I'm even eating weird stuff that I don't normally eat. Like bread.

Jess pregnancy test stick, but ghe £ shop ones aren't reliable

Jess Photo, now.