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AIBU?

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Original poster

Taking my boy in the ladies toilet...

1001 replies

40andfucked · 28/08/2016 19:53

So we were in a busy sports pub full of very happy (several drunk) people after a great win. My son needed the loo so I took him to the ladies with me. I was told by a very stroppy barmaid who happened to be in there that she wanted him out.
I said I didn't feel comfortable him going to the men's, she said well he's not coming in here. I said I don't want him in the men's alone. She said 'well go in there with him then'! So u did!
He's 10. Normally I'd send him in the men's, but not in a pub full of drunk strangers. I know some may think I've very over protective, but it really wouldn't have hurt her to just let him go for a quick were!!

OP posts:
ChicRock · 28/08/2016 19:54

YABU.

HeyNannyNanny · 28/08/2016 19:55

Depends on the 10 year old, I guess.
I'd have been inclined to send him in the men's and would have waited outside for him.

Rosae · 28/08/2016 19:56

I would have more problem about a girl in the men's than a boy in the ladies. At least in the ladies we're all in cubicles. At 10 I might have just waited outside the door while he went in the men's but also see no problem with him going in the ladies with his mother!

BombadierFritz · 28/08/2016 19:56

my 10 year old would be mortified if I behaved that way!

M00nUnit · 28/08/2016 19:57

What do you mean by "So u did!"? Do you mean you went into the men's with him?

MeAndMy3LovelyBoys · 28/08/2016 19:58

I agree with Nanny it depends on the 10 year old.
I think I would have sent him in to the men's and waited outside for him as well. My oldest boy is 5 so it will be a while before I do that though.

acasualobserver · 28/08/2016 19:59

What were you worried about if he went to the Gents on his own?

kurlique · 28/08/2016 20:00

I don't see the issue with him going in the ladies if you were with him, I wouldn't have sent him in alone, and I would have had the same reservations as you about sending him to the gents alone in those circumstances. I don't think that you are being overprotective Flowers for you for sticking with your DS and braving the stinky old gents!

TheWitTank · 28/08/2016 20:01

I have to take my nearly 9 year old in with me as he has aspergers and will not go alone (would be paralysed with fear by hand dryers, or would get distracted and wander off or not come out or would struggle with his trousers being perfectly level which upsets him). I don't see the big issue. If the toilets are cubicles it's not like anything is visible bar hand washing/make up checks?

FloraFoxglove · 28/08/2016 20:01

Only on mn eh? I take my 9 year old boy in the ladies with me and not one person has ever batted an eyelid

Onthecouchagain · 28/08/2016 20:02

At 10 he can be sent into the men's

AgentProvocateur · 28/08/2016 20:02

YABU. At 10, he should be used to going to gents toilets when he's out with his friends etc. I don't think he was in danger from the "drunk strangers" (as opposed to the sober strangers that would normally be in the gents') for the two minutes he'd be peeing for.

Plaintalkin · 28/08/2016 20:02

I'm guessing he wasn't going to wee in the sink , I presume he was going in the cubicle ? So what's the problem? Was she afraid he'd hear her wee? Or was she afraid he'd lie on the floor and look under the door?

I'm sorry but she was over reacting .

FloraFoxglove · 28/08/2016 20:02

Oh and my 9 year old is neuro typical. He just prefers to come in with me. We've never even had a glance. It's a little boy with his mum , not a hulking 13 yer old

This stuff only ever happens on mn

Secretmetalfan · 28/08/2016 20:04

Prob would have sent him in the gents and waited o/s the door. But don't really see the issue him going in the ladies either as its all cubicles.

ghostyslovesheep · 28/08/2016 20:04

Your happy for him to be in a pub full of drunk folk but not to share a loo with them?
Yabu I think

LaurieLemons · 28/08/2016 20:05

I do think you're being overprotective but then I don't see why anyone would have an issue with a 10 year old in the ladies anyway.

catkind · 28/08/2016 20:06

I think a lot of people would find 10 too old. What does your DS think? I remember feeling desperately embarrassed having to go in the mens' changing rooms with my dad at 7 or 8. Not because of modesty, just I felt I wasn't supposed to be there. But my dad coming in the ladies' would have been worse!

SomedayBaby · 28/08/2016 20:06

YABU...10 is too old to be going into the ladies with his mum.

My ds's are 8 and 6...we've been to a couple of weddings in the past weeks where they've stayed up until the end...so inevitably been going into the gents toilets in an environment i'm not particularly comfortable with (tipsy strangers, happy though they were!).

With ds1, he went into the gents and I hovered outside with my nose almost up against the door. With ds2 I caved and took him into the ladies with me...but he's 6 which is a lot different to 10.

MillionToOneChances · 28/08/2016 20:06

It's a bit mad if a child in the Ladies (where everything happens in cubicles) is an issue but an adult in the Gents (where men are getting their tackle out in front of one another) is considered OK.

neonrainbow · 28/08/2016 20:07

An NT 10year old boy is too old to be in the ladies.

ThymeLord · 28/08/2016 20:08

I personally wouldn't mind, not at only 10 years old, but he'd have been fine in the gents.

Becles · 28/08/2016 20:08

YABU. He's old enough to use the gents and in the absence of any specific needs, you should also get the need for a female space

SomedayBaby · 28/08/2016 20:08

Flora I find that really weird tbh. Why are you taking a NT 9 year old into the ladies with you? Do you mean just in every day circumstances - quiet family pubs, restaurants etc? For what possible reason?

Gothgirl78 · 28/08/2016 20:08

Ynbu. Only on mumsnet do people care about a child in the women's toilet.

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