Taking my boy in the ladies toilet...

[40andfucked]

So we were in a busy sports pub full of very happy (several drunk) people after a great win. My son needed the loo so I took him to the ladies with me. I was told by a very stroppy barmaid who happened to be in there that she wanted him out.
I said I didn't feel comfortable him going to the men's, she said well he's not coming in here. I said I don't want him in the men's alone. She said 'well go in there with him then'! So u did!
He's 10. Normally I'd send him in the men's, but not in a pub full of drunk strangers. I know some may think I've very over protective, but it really wouldn't have hurt her to just let him go for a quick were!!

[primarynoodle]

I don't think yabu... It'd be the worry of drunken overexcited burly men's behaviour scaring him not anything untoward happening- it puts me on edge and I'm 23 so would imagine it can be rather overwhelming for a child. In another circumstance e.g. Restaurant/cinema then fair enough but I'd have done the same OP.

Barmaid sounds a right cow tbh!

[notinagreatplace]

There's enough of a queue in the ladies anyway generally without adding 10 year old boys to it.

[FloweryTwat]

DD1 is just 7 and goes to the toilet on her own. 10 is way too old imo, they say no 8 years and older in opposite sex changing rooms at our swimming pool.

[Catsick36]

A young boy was raped in the toilets in a McDonald's. It happens more than is publicised.
I'd have sent him into a disabled toilet if there was one. Or sent a male family member with him. I am very paranoid about things like that. YANBU.

[DelicatePreciousThing1]

YABU.
He is not a young child. And yes you are being ridiculously over-protective.

[KoalaDownUnder]

Ten?! YABU. He's well old enough to go to the men's.

He's probably safer in a busy men's room full of happy drunks than in a secluded, quiet one, anyway. What's going to happen to him?!

[cherryplumbanana]

YANBU at all.

I have even seen young boys waiting for their mum in front her cubicle. I can't understand what the big deal is? Women use cubicles, no one can see you in there, I am not sure how anyone would be traumatised to see a child look at you washing your hands.
no one can see the child using the loo either, really not a big deal. The barmaid was an idiot.

[acasualobserver]

A young boy was raped in the toilets in a McDonald's. It happens more than is publicised

How do you know this if it isn't publicised?

[PaulDacresMicroPenis]

What ghosty said, pub full of pissed up, sweary adults is a bizarre place to take a 10 yo who is incapable of taking himself off for a wee

[Itwillbefine]

YWNBU, I would've done the same with my DS in the same circumstances.

[KoalaDownUnder]

Well, what would people have the cut-off age be, then? 12? 15??

Or should there not be one, and we just make all public toilets unisex? Because that's the next logical step.

[WorraLiberty]

Blimey, 10??

Yeah that's a bit old to be using the Ladies' with his Mum.

I get you/he might be nervous around drunk people, but if that's the case I'd keep him out of pubs.

What if you're/he's still nervous when he's 13?

[Fairylea]

Personally I wouldn't have batted an eyelid at a 10 year old boy in the women's toilet. Anything personal is done in a cubicle anyway isn't it? I can't see what people are getting so offended about. But then maybe I'm more liberal than most. Who knows.

[OuchLegoHurts]

If you're happy to take him to a pub on the odd occasion like this, then you should let him go to the gents, like he would anywhere else, and if you're queried, just wait outside the door. There's no other option as far as I'm concerned. That's NORMAL.

[OuchLegoHurts]

If you're worried not queried

[eyebrowsonfleek]

If the people at the pub were scary drunk then you probably shouldn't have taken your son there.

I have a 10 year old son and there's no way he would go in the ladies loos.

I happily concede that there are children who need adult help but NT 10 year old should be fine.

[timelytess]

10 is far too old to be in the ladies toilet.

[maddiemookins16mum]

Ten year old boys should really be able go in the mens loos by themselves with you hovering close by.

[Hockeydude]

No way would I send my 10yo into the gents in a pub full of pissed up strangers. In fact, my friend who runs a business where they have unaccompanied children on the premises is required by ofsted to check the toilets to ensure they are empty before sending a 10yo boy in. Yanbu op, a 10yo boy is still a little boy, no threat to a grown woman . Barmaid being ridiculous.

[DelicatePreciousThing1]

Yes. Good point. What is this not doing in a pub full of drunks? Jeez

[DelicatePreciousThing1]

...this boy doing in a pub...

[Laiste]

10s a bit old to be needing his mum to take him to the ladies IMO.

Surely he could go in the mens while you wait outside for him? You're within shouting distance. It's only a pub not a public loo at Wembley Stadium or something.

[DelicatePreciousThing1]

The bar maid was quite right.

[MoreCoffeeNow]

Far too old at 10 to be in the ladies. 7 or 8 is the limit, surely.

Both DSs would have been very embarrassed at 10 to be taken to the ladies.