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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Taking my boy in the ladies toilet...

1001 replies

40andfucked · 28/08/2016 19:53

So we were in a busy sports pub full of very happy (several drunk) people after a great win. My son needed the loo so I took him to the ladies with me. I was told by a very stroppy barmaid who happened to be in there that she wanted him out.
I said I didn't feel comfortable him going to the men's, she said well he's not coming in here. I said I don't want him in the men's alone. She said 'well go in there with him then'! So u did!
He's 10. Normally I'd send him in the men's, but not in a pub full of drunk strangers. I know some may think I've very over protective, but it really wouldn't have hurt her to just let him go for a quick were!!

OP posts:
ItsAllGoingToBeFine · 28/08/2016 20:50

Your happy for him to be in a pub full of drunk folk but not to share a loo with them?

This^

Did you have your eyes on him at all times while he was in the park? Or is it only while peeing you feet the need for such close supervision that you went into the gents with him?

And this^

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 28/08/2016 20:51

YNBU. I don't know why people are freaking out about a 10 year old child using the ladies toliets. I'm sorry but I really don't see the issue.
And that , but He's been in a pub all day with strangers, argument, won't wash either. Yes he has, but. He's not been alone with them.
Oh yes chances are. He would have been fine, but. It's not a chance I'd take. Any pervert could have been in there ready to pounce.
I watched this programme years ago. I think it was called Leeza and the episode. Was called something like should they be doing that.
There was a tragic story about a Nan who took her DGS to the park, abd. I think he was about 9 or 10. He went to the toliets whilest his nan was outside. Obviously thinking he was safe. He was stabbed in the toliets. I'm can't actually recall if it were fatal or not.
You really cannot be too careful.

GandolfBold · 28/08/2016 20:51

I take DS (9) into the disabled toilets with me as he cant go into the gents by himself.

I do it for him rather than for anyone else. I often think if he was an NT 9 year old he wouldn't want to be coming with me into the ladies.

Bumpmadethemjump · 28/08/2016 20:52

P.s, I don't care if a 10yr old boy is in the ladies toilets but teenage girls a few years older than your ds who have started their periods will have an issue with it.

eyebrowsonfleek · 28/08/2016 20:55

10 year old girls wouldn't like 10 year old boys in the ladies and vice versa.

40andfucked · 28/08/2016 20:56

As I said my son was at the park with his cousins and sister. His sister is 18 next month.

OP posts:
whywonthedgehogssharethehedge · 28/08/2016 20:56

It wouldn't bother me to see a 10 year old boy in the toilets but I wouldn't take mine in with me. He is 6 and we are just starting him going by himself. He has a time limit and if he isn't out in it one of us comes in. I usually stand outside or DH goes with him. I've never yet had to go in after him.

Rumpelstiltskin143 · 28/08/2016 20:57

Here's your truckload of cotton to wrap him up in.

Taking my boy in the ladies toilet...
Babyamazon · 28/08/2016 20:58

I take my 8 year old into the ladies.

I wouldn't send a child into the men's alone. There have been several incidents of boys being sexually assaulted in toilets in supermarkets and one in a community centre.

I don't see the problem ladies toilets have lockable cubicles.

40andfucked · 28/08/2016 21:02

The thing is, is the bar staff had just said. 'Sorry I think he's a bit old to be in here' I'd have said 'ok can I have the radar key to take him to the disabled toilet'. It was her attitude against him, in front of him, that really pissed me off.

OP posts:
foursillybeans · 28/08/2016 21:03

I am always confused why women are cross about boys say 12/13 under going in the ladies. There are cubicles and we don't do anything in the public part except lipstick and washing our hands. Why get upset about it? What is it you think the boys will see?
The men's however have their junk out and it is intimidating for the boys. My DS, just 11, has said to me that is difficult to go when he is nervous on his own in the Gents. He'll get there obviously but we don't go out that much so he doesn't get to use them that often.

Babyamazon · 28/08/2016 21:04

Op just ignore all the stupid answers.

I see loads of people take their sons into the toilet, no one in rl bats an eyelid.

reallyanotherone · 28/08/2016 21:06

I use a leisure centre where many of the mums have the same attitude- it's ok for my son to use the ladies as he's with me.

No, it's not. My 11 yo dd feels she can't change in an area designated for her, because there are more boys than girls in there. Often up to the age of 12 or 13- not necessarily getting changed themselves, but with mum while little sister changes, and they sit there openly looking.

Nt boys over 8 should not be in female spaces.

I have been in womens loos when mum sends the son in to use the toilet while she waits outside.

foursillybeans · 28/08/2016 21:07

Actually 13 is a bit old actually. 11-early 12 is about the oldest.

foursillybeans · 28/08/2016 21:09

Getting changed/changing rooms is an completely different conversation to a conversion/thread about toilets.Confused

reallyanotherone · 28/08/2016 21:09

People do bat eyelids irl. I certainly do.

Mostly, in a typical female way, women don't speak up.

cherryplumbanana · 28/08/2016 21:09

good grief.

I wouldn't send a 10yo boy ALONE in a female toilet obviously, which would make it awkward for teenage girls. Absolutely non-issue to take him with me. Let's not even mention train stations. If you leave a young child on his own, you are crazy.

otter2954 · 28/08/2016 21:09

YABU. 10 is too old.

40andfucked · 28/08/2016 21:10

I take my son into a family room when changing for swimming. Would never let him be where women/girls, or he, was changing! Totally different!

OP posts:
Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 28/08/2016 21:11

The men's however have their junk out and it is intimidating for the boys

How utterly ridiculous! Boys are well aware that men have penises too, I doubt very much they even bat and eyelid, let alone feel intimidated! Jesus wept! Confused

PaulDacresMicroPenis · 28/08/2016 21:11

Thread not bun fighty enough for you op, so now you add misusing disabled facilities into the mix?
Reported

40andfucked · 28/08/2016 21:11

Thank you @babyamazon

OP posts:
ThymeLord · 28/08/2016 21:11

teenage girls who have started their periods wouldn't be happy about this

My teenage girl who has periods would see a little boy with his mum and not think twice.

Would I take a 10 year old son into the toilets with me? No. I don't care one jot that op did though. He's 10 not 15.

OhSoggyBiscuit · 28/08/2016 21:12

I don't think I've even noticed anyone else in the loos at the same time as me- be it young boys, small children. I'm in there to do my business, wash my hands and leave. I couldn't care less as long as the young boy wasn't attempting to peek into my cubicle.

Bugsylugs · 28/08/2016 21:12

I get comments lo only 7 but tall hey ho. Let the comments come

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