Taking my boy in the ladies toilet...

[40andfucked]

So we were in a busy sports pub full of very happy (several drunk) people after a great win. My son needed the loo so I took him to the ladies with me. I was told by a very stroppy barmaid who happened to be in there that she wanted him out.
I said I didn't feel comfortable him going to the men's, she said well he's not coming in here. I said I don't want him in the men's alone. She said 'well go in there with him then'! So u did!
He's 10. Normally I'd send him in the men's, but not in a pub full of drunk strangers. I know some may think I've very over protective, but it really wouldn't have hurt her to just let him go for a quick were!!

[StarryIllusion]

He is far too old to have mummy go to the toilet with him and frankly I'd want him out too. I accept I may be biased as I once had a boy of about 7 stick his head under the door of a toilet and stare at me. Then did it again when told to sod off. But really, he is 10 and you don't trust him to pee alone?

[SoupSpork]

I'd have sent him into a disabled toilet if there was one

[TwentyCups]

If you didn't think he was safe to go to the toilet without you, due to all the drunk people, he shouldn't have been in the pub at all.

[voddiekeepsmesane]

I don't really see a problem with a boy in the ladies as its all cubicles anyway. Not like he's going to see anything. Having said that my DS has been going in mens since about 9 (now 12) and if it felt a bit dodgy then I just waited outside the door and told him to call me if needed.

[TheWitTank]

Wonder if people look at me and my son and think I'm weird then? Obviously my son looks entirely NT to the casual bystander. I actually don't care, but nobody has ever seemed to pay the slightest bit of attention and now I'm wondering if I am causing quiet rage for a few people.

[Fairylea]

TheWitTank I suspect people will think the same thing of me and my son with asd who is currently 4 as he will need me taking him to the toilet for many years yet I suspect (if I can ever toilet train him with his phobia of hand dryers, he won't even go in a toilet at the moment). Parents of children with non obvious special needs can't win really - take an older child into the wrong sex toilet and you cause people the rage, risk using the disabled toilet (even though you have good reason to) and you risk causing people the rage because they assume no one able bodied could be disabled.

[Natsku]

I wouldn't mind a 10 year old boy in the ladies toilet but surely he was embarrassed to go with his mum at that age?

[2kids2dogsnosense]

It wouldn't bother me, a lad of 10 in the ladies, though recently on a campsite I was put out to see a boy of that age in the ladies toilet/shower block. There are half dressed women in there occasionally and it just didn't seem appropriate.

[TwentyCups]

I honestly don't mind a child in the ladies accompanied by their mother at all. They are children, it's not a problem in my opinion.

However, this in this particular situation it doesn't seem like a child should have been there at all. Pubs are adult spaces imo (proper pubs that is, not food serving chain type places). I would not expect to see a small boy in The toilet of a pub full of drunk people, because I Would see that as an adult space. I hope that makes sense.

[grumpysquash3]

My DS is 10 and there is no way he would come in the ladies with me. He has been using the gents since he was about 5. Even at service stations, which I wasn't keen on TBH, but I just waited outside and he wasn't long.

If your DS is 10, he will be going into year 6, and will be at secondary school this time next year. 10 is really not a 'little boy' (but I agree with pp that he is not a thread to women.....) He is old enough to go to the toilet by himself.

If the issue is more about the pub clientele, don't take him to the pub!

FWIW, when I used to take DC with me into the toilet, it was mainly about whether they could manage the lock, wipe themselves properly, wash hands etc. Until reading this thread it hadn't occurred to me to worry about rape.

[grumpysquash3]

thread to women.....threat, obviously!

[Marynary]

I think that a 10 year old is old enough to go to men's toilets by themselves but at the same time it shouldn't bother anyone. I don't see see why men and women's toilets need to be separate in the first place.

[FreshHorizons]

I am very surprised that a 10 yr old puts up with it!
Some need to be more self assertive and just nip into the men's - there is nothing much the mother can do then. She will have to get used to it!
Better not to take him into inappropriate places.

[Whatthefreakinwhatnow]

Ridiculously precious and over protective!

At 10 he should have been going to the loo on his own for years now, how bloody mortified he must have been! He's going to high school soon ffs!

[40andfucked]

Yes of course he was embarrassed going in there with me. He hates it! But i'd rather be over protective than have something happen to him.

I just don't get why it's an issue, as people have said, women go in cubicles so it's not like he could see anything to embarrass anyone else in there.

Also, he spent most of the time we were in the pub at the park with his cousins and sister, but came back because the match was finishing and he needed a wee!!

[honkinghaddock]

Ds (nearly10) comes in with me if there is no disabled toilet and will have to even as an adult.

[PaulDacresMicroPenis]

Any chance of you coming back to dripfeed respond OP?

[PaulDacresMicroPenis]

Oops sorry for the cross-post OP

[Biscuitsneeded]

It wouldn't bother me terribly much but I would think he must be a bit over-protected and I would feel sorry for him. If the clientele was really that drunk and rowdy then maybe it wasn't the right place for a 10 year old anyway.

[Eyedrophell]

YANBU

I have started to send DS1(8) into mens toilets on his own but am selective where. In a motorway service station at 2 in the morning =No (and I needed to go so would have to have left him on his own too), in local cafe = yes.

You make judgements based on the circumstances

[Dickorydockwhatthe]

I take my 8 year old ds into the toilets with me if we are on our own. I really don't always feel comfortable allowing my children to use public toilets alone you just really cannot be too sure. The men's toilets are even worse because obviously they use urinals they are more exposed standing next to a complete stranger, we have even used the disabled toilets.
I've seen older children in the ladies with their mums and don't bat an eyelid as we have cubicles. However I do find it a bit uncomfortable in the changing rooms in New Look where grown men are allowed to sit in there waiting for their partners especially when the curtain never really fully pills across grrrr

[PaulDacresMicroPenis]

and what ChicRock said

[ShiroiKoibito]

www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-jailed-for-raping-boy-of-seven-119130

Its very different to sitting in a pub with drunken people, and your child being in a vulnerable state (using the urinal) alone with drunken men. I would have taken him in with you, or stood outside, you use your instincts to tell you what you do.


I love this - . In fact, my friend who runs a business where they have unaccompanied children on the premises is required by ofsted to check the toilets to ensure they are empty before sending a 10yo boy in

[Bumpmadethemjump]

Just to point out - your son is much more likely to be harmed by a close friend or family member then someone in a public restroom. Please don't do this when his in high school, if any girls from his school see him in there he'd never live it down.