Husbands secret stash

[pitsandpeaks]

I don't know if I should laugh, scream or roll my eyes....

Few months ago I found a huge stash of socks under mine and DHs bed, thought I'd finally solved the weird odd sock problem I seem to have. A month later and it was back but this time I noticed the socks were crisp and solid at the end, didn't take me long to figure out Dh has obviously been using these.......you get the picture anyway I mentioned to him that I'd found them and I wasn't happy to be cleaning up after him in general but that this was taking it to another level and thought that would be the last of it.

It's not-there is always some there and I've had to scream at him about it recently, I'm not comfortable with ignoring it because they are under the bed we both sleep on and it's just really unsanitary, today I've come home and there is a used condom in its wrapper and 3 socks nearby.

I'm aware it's perfectly healthy and normal to masterbate, but surely cleaning up after yourself is part and parcel of this? I feel like this is a problem moms with teenagers have to deal with not their husbands, but maybe I'm just being unreasonable and I should just bin/ put in wash and move on with the next gazillion household chores I seem to be lumbered with? I have fury right now but maybe it's misplaced.

I really wanted to title this secret spunky sock stash but I chickened out!

Would imagine nearly all men wank, not sure about the socks though

Bloody hilarious! Back in the sock drawer they go I think...!

Oh my days, this has made me proper chortle - I read a few bits out to my DP and I'm pretty sure he did a bit of sick in his mouth then choked on it, which made me laugh even harder (I know, I know, I should have been more sympathetic and offered him a sock or something!).

Happy to declare I've never found anything so, er, unsavoury hidden anywhere with my lovely DP, although my ex... crusty towel under the bed, some suspicious drip-marks here and there, and washed the curtains when he left just to be on the safe side... bleurgh!

This thread has made me wonder that lots of women are posting here about their partners: why do all these men are doing it to a sock when they have women around them?
Sorry if that's a very stupid thing to ask.

What a cock!That is just really rude, leaving them there, presumably for you to pick up and wash.Yuk,Stop picking them up.
Get him a pair of these!
Hand knitted, no less.

Will anyone reply my question please ? Why all these men are having a wank when they have women sitting couple feet away?

Loving the cat bum condom story!
OP that is really gross, how hard is it to put something in the wash basket.. Best place for a wank would be the shower surely!

Valentine Probably because men typically have higher sex drives than women (not saying this applies to all) and need to release more.. Makes them less frustrated and no pressure on the woman.. I don't feel like it all the time so I'm happy that DP wanks.

Oi, someone needs to answer my question first

What do they do with a condom AND the sock? Condoms are expensive (well, not as expensive as a child granted), why waste one? And what need is there for the sock aswell? Or at all? I'd love to ask dp but he's snoring next to me.

tea party
Thanks for the reply. makes sense. but I would love DH to try it on me first even if I them refuse his advances. Then he can go on and have sex with himself. Otherwise it would outrage me to no end. Thankfully he is safe so far as no stack of socks in this house though I don't know what he does in his shower

no more condoms in the cat 😂 has me crying with laughter - hilarious!!

So really it's not the washing machine eating socks at all, the age old problem has been solved!

It's socks-based-infidelity syndrome OP. Treat it thoroughly.

Yes Valentine.

Could be any number of things -

Woman may not feel like it as often as the man (not always the case granted)

Bit of free time on their hands and think why not?

Also during sex, you have the job of pleasing yourself and your partner, in alone time, it's just you.

Would imagine most people masturbate from time to time, some maybe never, some multiple times I have heard.

Just a normal human thing to do.

Does not bother me one bit, provided they cleans up after themself and don't go wiping it on the curtains as some PP say their exPs have been guilty of.

Valentine You will have to start timing his showers

All those poor washing machines, years of being blamed for stealing the socks

None of my washing machines have ever developed a sock fetish, I honestly have never lost a single one (not sure how I haven't).

Don't we all masterbate? I don't use socks or condoms but isn't it normal for us all to do it, even if we have a partner?

Cake

I have asked mine, answer is; very unlikely that they were used together (unless OPs DP does indeed, have a sock fetish lol) but rather that they were for separate "goes" .

OPs DP may have only had one condom left, as you say, they cost money and unlikely that a man is going to stock up on them for a bunch of dates with Mrs Palm and the five sisters.

Even DH cannot get past the idea of leaving the used condom out, it needs to be binned ASAP!

Sew the openings of all his socks up and watch him struggle !

Condom may have been to avoid infecting cock with dirty sock's athlete's foot, varuka or other fungal infection. Yuk!
OP Twin beds, separate rooms??

Cut the toes off all his socks.

Could you get his mum to buy him socks every Christmas and birthday, and remind him regularly that they were a gift from her? Might put him off his stroke?

Start a facebook group - things found under the bed - invite people to post pictures of dust bunnies and normal under the bed crap - then post your pic with full description.

Awful. As one of the first posters hinted, behaving like a 15 year old.

This is the funniest thing I have read in ages. The cat with a condom! . And a dog too. And the itchy bum tissue. So funny. My OH has some weird and unsavoury habits that I find sitting on the wrong side of hygienic but if I found crusty socks they would be shoved down his throat