Husbands secret stash

[pitsandpeaks]

I don't know if I should laugh, scream or roll my eyes....

Few months ago I found a huge stash of socks under mine and DHs bed, thought I'd finally solved the weird odd sock problem I seem to have. A month later and it was back but this time I noticed the socks were crisp and solid at the end, didn't take me long to figure out Dh has obviously been using these.......you get the picture anyway I mentioned to him that I'd found them and I wasn't happy to be cleaning up after him in general but that this was taking it to another level and thought that would be the last of it.

It's not-there is always some there and I've had to scream at him about it recently, I'm not comfortable with ignoring it because they are under the bed we both sleep on and it's just really unsanitary, today I've come home and there is a used condom in its wrapper and 3 socks nearby.

I'm aware it's perfectly healthy and normal to masterbate, but surely cleaning up after yourself is part and parcel of this? I feel like this is a problem moms with teenagers have to deal with not their husbands, but maybe I'm just being unreasonable and I should just bin/ put in wash and move on with the next gazillion household chores I seem to be lumbered with? I have fury right now but maybe it's misplaced.

I really wanted to title this secret spunky sock stash but I chickened out!

3 sock fulls! Thanks for that I just spat my tea all over the kitchen wall through trying to swallow it and stop laughing at the same time!

Why can't he use baby wipes or just have a wank in the shower??

I just asked my husband if condoms are needed for whatever reason and he screwed up his face and said 'eh no!' Also mentioned the socks to him and he looked a bit sick and described it as minging.

Is he usually that disgusting? I've never found any evidence of my husband doing that and I'm sure he must as he's human but as he's also an adult he would clean up after himself!

Solution- just get him a bucket. Easier to clean.

A wank bucket. Can feel a dragons den moment coming on...

Smelly spunky sock pillow is the only solution :)

I'm sorry, it reminds me of that old dog training technique where you rub their faces in the wee. A sort of, bring the spunk to the face switcheroo. (Shudders).

Come to think of it (no pun intended) exP always "lost" loads of single socks - and actually wears odd socks as he can never find a pair. Maybe this is why. But I never found them

The comments will be coming in thick and fast.

I don't know why you clean up after him - I would tell him to clean it up himself.
Very strange behaviour though, what's wrong with using a tissue?

Pissing myself at these comments

my other half likes to scratch his ass with toilet tissue at night and stash the tissues in the bed side draw >.>

men have strange habits

Ewww so grim! Reminds me of my exH, he used to use condoms and just drop them by the side of the bed to deal with at a later date. I used to nag all the time about it (I REFUSED to move them). One day I was sat on the sofa and noticed something hanging from the cats arse, on closer inspection I noticed it was a condom, I couldn't fucking believe it - she'd eaten a used condom and it was stuck out of her arse! I had to get rubber gloves on and remove it, surely it could have killed her? He never ever done it again, I was so angry and I told him any more condoms in the cat and he would have to take her to the vet and explain himself!

Oh my god op!!!
I kept reading till you got to the point of condom and that's when I got it! I thought he was using them as .... socks basically and that's why they were dirty. What a filthy bastard. his solution of NOT making a stash of dirty socks there is to make a stash of used condoms. Urrghhh
LTB

Poor cat must have gone balloonistic. Still at least there were no kittens

OMFG seminormal! PMSL but also that is the most revolting thing I've ever heard - having to pull your filthy lazy man's wank condom out of your cat's arse!

And as for yours Rose. OMFG again.

I think the worst bit is that he's not even using clean socks! Imagine peeling the sweaty ones off at night and thinking 'oi oi, here we go!'

Urgh that's just wrong on so many levels!
I don't understand the sock thing that's not normal , surely? Does he have a sock/foot fetish? I mean I suppose at least it's contained rather than on the sheets or towels or something

Seriously though. What is wrong with them.

That is fucking disgusting. I would be putting the spunk socks back into his clean sock drawer. Don't bin them, he needs to clear up his own mess.

I think you need to invest in some comedy socks for mas. Doubt he'll be quite so frisky with Bart's butt winking at him or, if you can find them, some shark or crocodile teeth toed ones?

Pmsl this thread is hilarious! 😅

Yup back in the drawer they go. He'll soon think twice when there is only smelly spunky socks left.

Ewww I was just eating a turkey sandwich feel sick now

All joking aside, if my DH did this and continued after I'd asked him not to I would find a way to raise it conversation with PIL.

With mayo Choc? (sorry!)

I suppose what he does in terms of enjoying dirty socks, etc. is kind of up to him but there is absolutely nothing ok about dumping the socks and condom under the bed for you to deal with. If he wants to share a bedroom with you then he has to respect that space as shared. For some reason I thought this sort of behaviour was exclusive to teen boys not grown men.

Stop clearing up after him. That gives him the wrong message. If it revolts you then sleep elsewhere until the man child gets the message. Why can't he just wank in the shower?

The condom in the cat made me laugh!