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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Husbands secret stash

217 replies

pitsandpeaks · 21/07/2016 20:56

I don't know if I should laugh, scream or roll my eyes....

Few months ago I found a huge stash of socks under mine and DHs bed, thought I'd finally solved the weird odd sock problem I seem to have. A month later and it was back but this time I noticed the socks were crisp and solid at the end, didn't take me long to figure out Dh has obviously been using these.......you get the picture anyway I mentioned to him that I'd found them and I wasn't happy to be cleaning up after him in general but that this was taking it to another level and thought that would be the last of it.Hmm

It's not-there is always some there and I've had to scream at him about it recently, I'm not comfortable with ignoring it because they are under the bed we both sleep on and it's just really unsanitary, today I've come home and there is a used condom in its wrapper and 3 socks nearby.

I'm aware it's perfectly healthy and normal to masterbate, but surely cleaning up after yourself is part and parcel of this? I feel like this is a problem moms with teenagers have to deal with not their husbands, but maybe I'm just being unreasonable and I should just bin/ put in wash and move on with the next gazillion household chores I seem to be lumbered with? I have fury right now but maybe it's misplaced.Angry

I really wanted to title this secret spunky sock stash but I chickened out!

OP posts:
BolshierAryaStark · 22/07/2016 14:26

This thread has made me queasy Envy
I opened it thinking the 'stash' was either money or narcotics... Not too sure what that says about me really.

Roussette · 22/07/2016 14:29

Hilarious! and what a wanker

Itching powder. If you can't get any open up rosehips and scrape the powder into the sock. I guarantee he won't sit still for a week. Grin

Just in case you need to know how to make the itching powder [[http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Itching-Powder here] you go. Believe me it works.

Roussette · 22/07/2016 14:30

Try again.

here

DownstairsMixUp · 22/07/2016 14:47

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

pitsandpeaks · 22/07/2016 16:01

He said he is done with me, dunno when's a good time to tell him the whole of mumsnet think he is a dirty git (to put it lightly) too. I am going to stop washing his socks, I'll post a follow up thread with a picture of a bin bag full of spunky socks.

He has always been able to put the used condom back in the packet after-thought this was normal-it's not really my domain but it (mostly) stops it sticking to the bottom of the bin. His mate was in the army maybe they've shared tips?

OP posts:
usual · 22/07/2016 16:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedACleverNN · 22/07/2016 16:17

No pictures please Envy

WhatTheActualFugg · 22/07/2016 16:38

He's done with you? As in he's leaving you? Because you don't like his spunky socks?

The cheek of it!!

Roussette · 22/07/2016 17:03

So he's leaving you to go off with a stash of socks and secondhand condoms.

Makes perfect sense Grin

iwouldgoouttonight · 22/07/2016 18:30

I think you should flatten the crusty socks and make them into jaunty festive bunting. It'll be a fab talking point when all the rellies come round at Christmas.

CakeNinja · 22/07/2016 18:51

Wait, what, he's done with you? As in, he's leaving you?
Because he's embarrassed you found crusty socks and used condoms and didn't want to clear them up?

Chinks123 · 22/07/2016 19:41

No picture op I'm feeling all queasy. Mostly about the cat story Sad

Farmmummy · 22/07/2016 19:56

Thought the cat condom was the end of me but the festive bunting has finished me off crying with laughter now! Although back to Op he's done with you?

Hereforthebeer · 22/07/2016 20:00

Put all the socks back in his clean sock drawer.

Keep doing it.

Or empty the clean socks and just leave the wanky, jizzy socks in there...

EvansAndThePrince · 22/07/2016 20:01

What, he's done with you?!

MustBeThin · 22/07/2016 23:29

OMG just had a Sun article come up on my facebook timeline "Wife's horror at finding this underneath her husbands side of the bed" 😂😂 oh dear

buttermymuffins · 22/07/2016 23:42

And I thought the decomposing rat I found in my packed away winter jumpers under my bed was bad.

Capricornandproud · 22/07/2016 23:56

Utterly gross. OP should get herself down the clinic and make sure she hasn't got athlete's fanny.

I'm dying Grin

e1y1 · 23/07/2016 00:53

You've made it to the the SUN at least

HERE

Bogeyface · 23/07/2016 01:06

Oh dear.

The new penis beaker I fear

Time for a NC I think OP, and ask MNHQ to hide your old posts.

DamsonGinIsMyThing · 23/07/2016 01:11

Motherfuckers. Name change ahoy.

WhatTheActualFugg · 23/07/2016 01:17

Oh no. This is not going to end well.

agentmarmalade · 23/07/2016 01:33

I'd fill his socks with deep heat.
I am outraged!
Pile them all up outside and set fire to them in front of him to show him you mean business!

Cagliostro · 23/07/2016 01:39

Wow that didn't take long! Nice original journalism there [slow clap]

Cagliostro · 23/07/2016 01:40

Although actually the most annoying thing about that article is the way they've broken up usernames into words. Errr that's not how usernames work.

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