Husbands secret stash

[pitsandpeaks]

I don't know if I should laugh, scream or roll my eyes....

Few months ago I found a huge stash of socks under mine and DHs bed, thought I'd finally solved the weird odd sock problem I seem to have. A month later and it was back but this time I noticed the socks were crisp and solid at the end, didn't take me long to figure out Dh has obviously been using these.......you get the picture anyway I mentioned to him that I'd found them and I wasn't happy to be cleaning up after him in general but that this was taking it to another level and thought that would be the last of it.

It's not-there is always some there and I've had to scream at him about it recently, I'm not comfortable with ignoring it because they are under the bed we both sleep on and it's just really unsanitary, today I've come home and there is a used condom in its wrapper and 3 socks nearby.

I'm aware it's perfectly healthy and normal to masterbate, but surely cleaning up after yourself is part and parcel of this? I feel like this is a problem moms with teenagers have to deal with not their husbands, but maybe I'm just being unreasonable and I should just bin/ put in wash and move on with the next gazillion household chores I seem to be lumbered with? I have fury right now but maybe it's misplaced.

I really wanted to title this secret spunky sock stash but I chickened out!

OMG is this the answer to every woman's sock problem goes off to look under bed

I thought a posh wank was when you got the scented candles out, and an array of mags (I grew up in the olden days) fanned out appealingly to peruse at leisure, and had a couple of hours free to devote to yourself.

Fucking disgusting I'm afraid!

I'm sorry but this made me laugh. I remember as a teen boys joking about having a spunk sick. I thought it was just a joke.

I couldn't complain if it was me, I have Snotter socks due to a ridiculous never ending rhinitis...

Gather them up (with tongs?) and put them in his briefcase or whatever bag he brings to work.

Put some chilli powder in the bloody socks and he will soon stop doing it!

Seriously what is he doing all day? Just having a wank... And not even clearing up the mess, yuck.

And I've never heard of masturbating with a condom on, that's really weird to me. I thought they lessened the sensation or is that part of the attraction?

Really put me off my galaxy now...

pmsl

was he not embarrassed or anything?

still pmsl-ing

Glad I've got a divan bed now

I would have thought the easiest solution would be to get a better husband.

After a very long day at work this has made me really laugh. Thank you

This is one of the vilest things I've read in a while. Seriously, unless he's a 14yo boy, he has some serious issues.

Wtf is wrong with using a tissue like normal people do?!

That's gross, yanbu. He needs to sort himself out and get some class.

Ew.

LTB.

Dirty wanker.
Hope you haven't got a golden retriever

No DH assures me that "Posh Wanks" are very real.

RE: the lessening of sensation, that entirely depends on the condom type being used.

But yes, he should be cleaning up after himself, crusty socks I can just about get to, used condoms not thrown away - vile.

He could just use a tissue like everyone else. starts to wonder if this is why we are keeping Andrex in business

Glad I'm not the only one whose husband is a dirty git.

I find a bog roll with crispy tissue on his bedside cabinet twice a week. I go ape at him because he could just put it down the toilet. I am quite house proud and it makes my blood boil.

I started to put them in his drawer as I much as I hated the thought of it being there, but to try to get him to put it away. It stayed there for 2 days.

Gross.

Sock wanks are not uncommon (although usually left to teens, I think!). A used condom, though? That would worry me.

It's also rather bizarre that he's not using a tissue. why?!

Just start using prongs to put crusty socks in his drawers. And then in his pockets. And generally everywhere so he can't avoid them. It's so foul making someone else deal with them.

Or buy a big collection of vibrators, make them look used and leave them round the house...

eeeeeewwwww

When is he doing this? Does he disappear off to do it, is it at night when you're asleep or what? Doesn't he go to work? (so many questions...)

I mean how can he produce condom and 3 sockfuls in a day, did I read that right? I wouldn't have the time!

Or collect them, make them into a casserole and dish it up for his tea.

I think mathanxiety is along the right lines....
But I would make a point of gathering it all up once a week and dumping it on his pillow.
Why should you clean it up?
Dirty git.

I would just bin them and keep binning them till he has no socks left.

My friend once confided that she thought her DH had used the curtains!

Thank your lucky stars OP

put them in his work lunchbox