To dress 6 year old dd in a bridesmaid type dress to a wedding

[Notthinkingclearly]

Dd is 6 and has always loved the beautiful frothy dresses in shops designed as bridesmaid dresses. We are going to a family wedding in a few weeks and I spotted a beautiful dress from john Lewis in a charity shop for £10. Very similar currently selling for £60. I bought her a cheap pink bollero cardigan to wear over the top. It is cream with a bow at the back. Now worried that I will offend the bride as I guess it was designed as a bridesmaid dress but I just thought it would be a chance for dd to wear a proper princess type dress.. I don't even know who she has as bridesmaids as I don't know her very well and would never have expected her to ask dd. Should I let dd wear the dress?

If is a definite 'Bridesmaid' dress I would avoid it.

Could you ask the bride if it would be OK?

Or try to find a pretty dress that doesn't look too bridesmaid-y - on ebay, maybe? There should be lots of pretty party frocks that won't look like she's a bridesmaid but will still make her happy. And then she can wear the other dress to another special occasion - win-win for her.

I think it's only fine for your dd to wear this if it's totally different to her bridesmaids dresses. If it's similar I think this would be really inappropriate.

I think it would be fine. She knows she's not a bridesmaid, and will enjoy her pretty dress.

She'd have to be a serious bridezilla to get upset by a 6 year old wearing a pretty dress. I wouldn't worry :)

No, definitely not. She's not a bridesmaid so don't dress her as one.

Someone dressed their child as a page boy at my wedding, everyone was and thought she was out of order.

i think she would be a bridezilla too to object, however, it might be nice to just mention it to her (like you have here)

As long as it is different from the bridesmaids' dresses it will be fine. Just ask the bride about colours.

I asked the same question years ago when I first joined mumsnet. It was my first AIBU and Im glad I'm thick skinned because I got an absolute bashing!

I can't see the problem myself but I did end up buying a different dress for DD which was less 'bridesmaidy'

I would ask the bride.

I wouldn't. You might seem like one of those mothers I've heard tell of on MN threads who think their precious Araminta should have been a bridesmaid so dress her up as one anyway to make the point.

Don't all 6yo's pretty party dresses look kind of like bridesmaid dresses? I would possibly check with the bride that you weren't matching the colours, but I see no problem otherwise.

It wouldn't bother me. At my wedding DH's cousin's DD (not a BM) had a very similar dress on to what my DD (BM) was wearing.

She just looked like a pretty little girl.

If it looks like the bridesmaids dress that no

If it looks nothing like it then yes

I've done a quick search on ebay, and found lots of lovely dresses that don't look bridesmaid-y and shouldn't break the bank either.

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Is it white? I would let her have a dress like that but I would try to accessorise it down so it didn't look like she was a flower girl. (Or i was a disgruntled mum that wishes she had been picked as a flowergirl) by this I mean I wouldn't do a bolero cardigan but maybe a bright 'regular' cardigan, some bright sneaker/socks rather than pale Mary Jane shoes, hair in a regular girls style than over the top curls/bows and flowers.
Then if she wants to do the princess thing with the dress save that for a dressing up day at home, or her own birthday party or if a friend has a princess type party.

Link fail - sorry -

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If I was the bride I wouldn't have a problem at all with that - so long as it was clear she wasn't a bridesmaid. I do think most people would simply see a little girl who wanted to dress fancy for a special occassion. Best bet would be to ask the bride.

Could you dye the dress, add to it to tone down the bridesmaidy-ness of it?

As long as it's a different colour to the bridesmaid then it should be fine.

I wouldn't do it for my DDs, but equally if I was the bride it wouldn't bother me as such. I just think it would look a bit odd. Other guests might thing you are a bit weird.

I agree with superworm - you can let her wear the dress but with accessories that show she's not a flower girl.

I wouldn't but I know lots of people do.

Best to check with the bride. Why cause any unnecessary upset, speak to the bride and maybe send her a picture of the dress.