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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dress 6 year old dd in a bridesmaid type dress to a wedding

461 replies

Notthinkingclearly · 29/04/2016 12:44

Dd is 6 and has always loved the beautiful frothy dresses in shops designed as bridesmaid dresses. We are going to a family wedding in a few weeks and I spotted a beautiful dress from john Lewis in a charity shop for £10. Very similar currently selling for £60. I bought her a cheap pink bollero cardigan to wear over the top. It is cream with a bow at the back. Now worried that I will offend the bride as I guess it was designed as a bridesmaid dress but I just thought it would be a chance for dd to wear a proper princess type dress.. I don't even know who she has as bridesmaids as I don't know her very well and would never have expected her to ask dd. Should I let dd wear the dress?

OP posts:
Spring2016 · 29/04/2016 15:16

I am sorry, but you did ask...think it would look tacky tbh. Could she use it for a play dress, and you buy a more suitable dress for the wedding? It is a wedding, not a fancy dress party for her to play princess.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 29/04/2016 15:26

It's not an Ella costume presumably so how on earth can a child of 6 look tacky in a smart dress? Adults yes, children though? Confused

dowhatnow · 29/04/2016 15:34

I agree with the tacky thing. It's certainly not classsy to risk upstaging the bride or bridesmaids, as a pp said above.

lem73 · 29/04/2016 15:46

I remember at my wedding there was a girl wearing an OTT garish bridesmaid dress. Her mum was an annoying family friend of PILs and had expected her to be picked as a bridesmaid. I was quite annoyed by that, especially when she kept following the bridesmaids around. However, now I'm a mum, I understand why you'd want to dress her up. I think just have a word with the bride and I'm sure she'll understand.

OliviaStabler · 29/04/2016 15:49

I wouldn't. The bride could take it as a hint you thought your dd should be a bridesmaid. Not worth the possible backlash.

user7755 · 29/04/2016 15:53

I wouldn't have even noticed what anyone was wearing but there are people who care about this sort of thing. And whoever it was up thread who mentioned a MNer who's mum (I think) decided against everyone's express wishes that niece should be a bridesmaid and sent her down the aisle after the bridal party - YY! I couldn't stop laughing at the brass neck. Apparently the bride turned around to find the bridesmaid standing there mid ceremony and had no idea why!

greenlizard · 29/04/2016 15:57

I would let her wear it and presumably so did you when you bought it.

I can't believe any reasonable adult would begrudge a 6 year old dressing up for a big occasion or feel upstaged by a child but judging by the comments on here I might be a minority Shock ShockShock

Waltermittythesequel · 29/04/2016 16:02

Bride very likely won't care.

However, I think it's a bit weird that out of literally hundreds of dresses in high street shops etc for little girls, you would deliberately choose an ivory bridesmaid style dress to dress your dd in.

I wouldn't care, but I would laugh at your weird attention seeking!

lem73 · 29/04/2016 16:04

Omg user I didn't read that post but similar happened at BILs wedding. Two little boys were clearly miffed that they weren't pageboys and they followed my ds's as they walked behind the bride and groom! Their parents didn't bother to stop them

AnnPerkins · 29/04/2016 16:04

Apparently the bride turned around to find the bridesmaid standing there mid ceremony and had no idea why!

That is hilarious! I think there should be more comedy at weddings.

A sitcom writer could get some fantastic material from MN. Julia Davis, are you reading? Grin

lem73 · 29/04/2016 16:07

That's hilarious.

FlaviaAnsell · 29/04/2016 16:07

Someone told me about this happening at a wedding where she was part of the wedding party. A woman who wasn't that close to the bride and groom, a cousin or something, dressed her little girl as a bridesmaid. The photographer thought she really was the bm and kept calling for her to be in the photos. Because the wedding party didn't want to cause upset by saying she wasn't a bm they ended up with official photos including this child whom half of them didn't know well and the other half didn't know at all.

CodyKing · 29/04/2016 16:13

Those dresses look terribly uncomfortable - I never brought or had the desire to dress my girls in that type of dress.

I'd go for floral summer dress -

calistaraines · 29/04/2016 16:17

My two were bridesmaids at a family wedding recently (bride is family)

DH to be's niece was in the exact same dress (from monsoon). She was not a bridesmaid.

I never did find out if it was deliberate. By the. Way did not bother me at all, just amused me greatly!

user7755 · 29/04/2016 16:24

Been trying to find the thread - that's me lost in classics for the night Grin

peacheshoney · 29/04/2016 16:43

Sorry it is really not on.
It will look to others that you are so precious you are trying to get your DD ito muscle in on the wedding party.BM dresses are something special for the BMs .There are loads of lovely things a 6 yo can wear why do you have to choose the one thing that is unsuitable.

charliethebear · 29/04/2016 16:47

I'm not actually sure I would know what an official bridesmaids dress for a 6year old is or not, if I saw a girl in a pretty white dress u would just think "oh how pretty that little girls dress is"

Email the bride to check its okay but I cant imagine anyone actually caring about what a 6 yr old wears, surely if you like someone enough to invite them to your wedding you would also just be happy the 6 year old is happy?

DioneTheDiabolist · 29/04/2016 16:52

YABU OP. I was at a wedding where the bride decided to have no flower girls. One of the guests' DDs arrived in a FG dress and the inlaws (whose DD was not a FG) were livid. They believed that the bride had lied to them (saying no FGs, but actually arranging for her friend's DD to be flower girl) and there was a bit of an atmosphere.Sad

Find a non bridesmaidy dress for your DD.

Floisme · 29/04/2016 17:18

I can't stop laughing at the idea of a bride feeling upstaged by a six-year old.

Themirrorcracked · 29/04/2016 17:18

It depends how fussy she is. Two little girls wore frilly, puffy white/ cream dresses to my wedding, and my bridesmaids dresses were puffy and cream and I didn't mind at all. I just thought they looked pretty.

hobybabo · 29/04/2016 17:28

SIL put nephew in a very obviously page boy outfit for our wedding. I wasn't pissed off at her but she seemed to be at me! It backfired on her anyway because all the other kids (whose parents paid attention to the venue and didn't want to make a pass agg statement) were smart casual, skirts/shorts and tops. Nephew ruined his posh suit and cravat with grass stains.

Narp · 29/04/2016 17:29

I would worry about the sanity of an adult who would begrudge a little girl wearing a pretty dress.

hobybabo · 29/04/2016 17:30

Sorry, pressed post too soon.

In spite of the above I wouldn't put a girl in what's obviously supposed to be a bridesmaid dress, when she isn't a bridesmaid. There WILL be someone, even if it's not the bride, who thinks that you're making a point, and you know how these things spread! There's plenty of pretty dresses about that aren't bridesmaid ones.

Narp · 29/04/2016 17:31

I'd also worry about the sanity of a Bride begrudging a guest wearing a white dress, mind you.

AntiHop · 29/04/2016 17:32

I was in a similar position. Going to a wedding soon. Saw a gorgeous dress in a charity shop and really liked the idea of buying it for my 19 month old dd for the wedding. But I decided not to as she would look like a flower girl/bridesmaid. I'll dress her in a summer dress instead.