To dress 6 year old dd in a bridesmaid type dress to a wedding

[Notthinkingclearly]

Dd is 6 and has always loved the beautiful frothy dresses in shops designed as bridesmaid dresses. We are going to a family wedding in a few weeks and I spotted a beautiful dress from john Lewis in a charity shop for £10. Very similar currently selling for £60. I bought her a cheap pink bollero cardigan to wear over the top. It is cream with a bow at the back. Now worried that I will offend the bride as I guess it was designed as a bridesmaid dress but I just thought it would be a chance for dd to wear a proper princess type dress.. I don't even know who she has as bridesmaids as I don't know her very well and would never have expected her to ask dd. Should I let dd wear the dress?

At my wedding the best man's daughter was dressed in a knee length red dress with netting underneath. Very bridesmaidy looking and by coincidence (I assume!) the exact same shade of red as my actual bridesmaids dresses. I couldn't have given a fuck. Wouldn't have noticed only the mother spent about half an hour apologising! But anyway you could just ask.

OP I've just had a quick look on John Lewis website, and the dresses similar to which you describe are pretty neutral IMO, and could be worn by a little girl for any formal occasion. If she likes it, let her wear it, but perhaps like others have suggested dress it down a bit.

I was at a friend's wedding very recently. She didn't have little bridesmaids, only adult ones. There were two little girls dressed in lovely cream dresses and they looked devine. Turns out, they were bridesmaids dresses that they'd worn for the groom's cousin's wedding a few weeks earlier (where they were bridesmaids). No one batted an eyelid, the girls just loved being able to wear the dresses again and told everyone who asked . They were very sweet and looked amazing. My friend (the bride) most certainly didn't mind. I agree with most others here, a little girl in a pretty dress at a wedding is just that; you'd have to be a special kind of person to take issue with this.

I'm shocked that anyone would judge a 6yo. This thread has truely shocked me I thought adults were more grown up then this but apparently not the case. A white dress with a bow on a child for a wedding sounds right to me, op if it makes your dd happy why the hell not? If your dd 'upstages' the bride and bridesmaid as some have said then they obviously have not made enough effort.

My two daughters wore ivory bridesmaid style dresses to a wedding last year. We already had the dresses we had bought for a family party. They wore them with normal sandals and hair bands and everyone said they looked lovely.

I don't think it would be the 6yo anyone would be judging summerdreams

So basically, because some adults lose all sense of reason at a wedding - and, even worse, try and use their children to make a point - a six year old can't wear a dress she likes?

Flo

Yup, that about sums it up

I'd also worry about the sanity of a Bride begrudging a guest wearing a white dress, mind you.

It just not the done thing - is it?

Me too, summerdreams. I'm sad that a child as young as 6 should be constrained in exercising their desire to wear over the top, excitingly celebratory things to a wedding, of all events.

It's bizarre as well in terms of its origin. Things that the wedding party wear at a wedding - morning suits, formal satin dresses - are surely just things that are at the very formal end of dressing up, not intrinsically weddingy in origin. The fact that only the wedding party have come to wear them - usually - is surely just about the fact that the other guests would be less likely to go to that level of trouble and expense, rather than that no one else somehow deserves them. if you are 6, and your parents have or can afford, an amazing formal dress, who could be offended that you wear it?

I would have thought that dressing up in formal stuff is a mark of respect for the wedding and the importance of the celebration, not the other way around

Could we see a picture if the dress op? Imo little girls' pretty dresses are like bm dresses anyway. Anything goes these days nets and tutus etc. Not just on little ones. I'd have thought she'd look a little smasher 😊

Ah this reminds me of the time I was shopping with my mum (at a similar age) for a dress for a family wedding. I fell in love with a puffy cream number but my mum said no, too bridesmaidsey, and instead bought me a navy sailor suit style dress. Turn up at the wedding and the bridesmaids were all in....navy sailor suits!

Moral of the story: ask the bride!

has there been a link to the actual dress yet? I was just looking at the JL flowergirl dresses and they just look like fancy party dresses to me, nothing that could cause offense.

If I was the bride I wouldn't care in the slightest what your DD wore. It would be mad to care.

I mightn't buy a dress similar to a bridesmaid's dress for my DD in case in case someone took the hump.

But I did let DD wear a dress she had worn as an actual bridesmaid again to a subsequent wedding. I knew their colour scheme was completely different, and it wasn't all that bridesmaidy.

White or cream typical flower girl dress then no don't send her it. You can get frou frou dresses in other colours or just dye it another colour.

I've been to weddings where little ones are put in flower girl dresses and the bride was asked how the child was related to her or if she was a flower girl. People thought it was weird when told no just a guests child.

I especially been a child bridesmaid where another girl the same age was sent by her parents in the type of dress you describe and I was most put out that there was another 'bridesmaid' as my dress wasn't frou frou and hers was a bloody mini wedding dress

I have seen several accounts on here that demonstrate how crazy and bridezilla some brides become - but as this thread shows, there are plenty of brides who wouldn't be at all bothered if a little girl wore a bridesmaid-y dress to their wedding - I'm in the latter group - it wouldn't have been a problem at all.

I wonder whether the OP knows if the bride-to-be is a highly strung bridezilla who will kick off massively at a small guest in a bridesmaid-y dress, or a more laid back bride who just wants everyone to have a happy day. If she is a bridezilla, is it worth risking the grief, if the little girl does wear the dress and the bride does object, when there is an easy solution - another dress. There are so many gorgeous, princess-y dresses out there that don't look bridesmaid-y, on eBay for very little money at all - so the lass could wear one of those to the wedding, and the other dress to a different occasion.

Check discreetly with the bride or better still the bride's or groom's mother that the dress is different enough from the actual bridesmaid's dresses. Then enjoy the day, knowing that your dd looks gorgeous without you having spent a fortune.

My DDs were bridesmaids recently, DD2 is six. At the wedding there were lots of children in weddingy outfits including two sisters, exactly the same age as my two, who were wearing the dresses they'd worn as bridesmaids recently. No-one minded, my two were delighted that others were wearing bridesmaid dresses and the two 6-yr-olds spent hours comparing the twirlability of their respective dresses.

If it's a dress your DD wants to wear, let her. When my DD2 was four she wore a very unbridesmaidy dress to the wedding of her best friend's parents. She ended up in the official photos because her best friend (who was a bridesmaid, in a bridesmaidy dress) handed her bouquet to DD2 and put her headdress on her head and the bride and groom invited her to join the photos!

I found an ivory bridesmaids dress in John Lewis priced incorrectly at £5.50 and on asking the policy, they said I could have it for that price - instead of £55! I thought it would make a fab party dress and a steal so I bought it. It fitted DD when she was 3 and we also happened to be asked to a wedding at that time. We don't know the bride and groom that well, he's a work colleague and not wishing to offend, we asked. In the event, they were fine and DD looked lovely in the dress and there was not a bridesmaid in sight. There are a mixed bag of responses and I think honesty is the best policy op so if in doubt, I would ask. And I wouldn't dye it. It will be made from a range of different fabrics, the stitching thread will be made from a different material, if it's satin, it won't dye uniformly and may shrink.

To be honest, I suspect most brides wouldn't mind a little girl in a bridesmaid-y dress - in fact, I suspect most brides are reasonable, and don't expect their wedding to be the centre of everyone else's universe - it's just that the mad, manic, unreasonable brides make much better stories to tell!

In the case I mentioned above, the person who was most upset wasn't the bride or any other adult but the groom's young sister. The couple had chosen not to have bridesmaids, but if they had, she would have been first choice. To people who didn't know what had happened, it looked as if she had been passed over in favour of a child who wasn't closely connected to the couple at all.

I don't think the brides mind - it's how it looks to other guests. Quite a few raised their eyebrows at my wedding when a young boy was dressed as a page boy, complete with button hole.

For our wedding there weren't actual bridesmaids, DD wore a white, flowery summer dress and matching hairband.

Thanks for all the comments. I have attached a photo of the dress. Although I know some people think it is not the done thing, I think I will let dd wear the dress. Hopefully I won't upset anyone in the day.

The more explanations I read, the less I care. If anyone - bride, groom or guest - is such a knobhead at to take offence at a child's outfit then they deserve to be upset.