Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 20 21

Original poster

To be pissed off re shoes on in the house

516 replies

JeVoudrais · 17/04/2016 13:20

Had visitors round this morning. I didn't answer the door as was occupied and came down 15 mins later.

Shoes on. In my carpeted living room. When they left, I asked DP and he said they always keep shoes on when they come. I expect it is because we have dogs. They know perfectly well that we rug doctored not long ago and that the dogs do not go in the living room with wet or dirty feet, though.

Regardless of how hygienic they think my carpet is, would it not be polite to at least ask regarding shoes? We have always removed shoes ASAP in their house because they take theirs off and it is expected of their guests.

I have OCD and am having a meltdown inside currently. AIBU to tell them in no uncertain terms next time that SHOES ARE NOT ALLOWED and ban them from my house if they want to keep them on?

OP posts:

WhoKnowsWhereTheT1meGoes · 17/04/2016 13:23

In general I would never ask a guest to remove shoes, but if they expect you to in their house then it is reasonable to expect them to reciprocate. But banning them from the house is an extreme overreaction I would say.

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 17/04/2016 13:23

I don't wear shoes in the house and prefer others to take theirs off, but unless they're covered in mud or dog crap then I wouldn't cause a fuss about it.

Can you get some guest slippers for people to wear when they visit?

PaulAnkaTheDog · 17/04/2016 13:23

Yabu. Unless you specified they were to take them off, they did nothing wrong. Plenty of people keep shoes on. I don't think you'll be banning them from your house, nowhere in your post does it even remotely hint that they would refuse. Just ask next time.

murphyslaws · 17/04/2016 13:27

No shoes rule in my house. Slippers of all sizes provided for

Birdsgottafly · 17/04/2016 13:28

Do you realise that your OCD is going to lose you a set of friends?

Are you getting help?

I don't like the 'no shoes' rule, but given that they also impose it, I wonder why they won't comply with it?

You need to use whatever strategies helps you with your condition, I suppose, but realise how tough this is for your DP.

Original poster

JeVoudrais · 17/04/2016 13:31

I don't think we know anyone who doesn't expect shoes off in the house.

I think I am mostly bothered by the fact they treat our house differently to their house. They've run back in to get something from their house before and took their shoes off for the 20 seconds they were in there for.

Germs/contamination are a very big thing for me, though. Far more than for most people.

OP posts:

FlyingElbows · 17/04/2016 13:31

Unless you are running a Mosque it is not an automatic assumption that people will remove their shoes. If you wish your guest to take their shoes off then ask them.

inlovewithhubby · 17/04/2016 13:32

I think people who insist shoes come off are being precious and rude, in the absence of obviously muddy boots you either need to chill out or change to wooden or similarly wipe clean floor

m0therofdragons · 17/04/2016 13:33

I'd rather guests keep shoes on - I'm totally freaked out by veruccas. Yuck!

Original poster

JeVoudrais · 17/04/2016 13:37

Birdsgotafly

This is not going to result in the loss of a friendship. It is in fact DP's parents that I am on about. I always ask them to take shoes off, but I am often not here when they come round. DP hadn't considered it until I mentioned it and he is actually quite pissed off by standards in their house vs assumption in our's.

My friends always ask about shoes, I think everyone I know who's house I have visited is a shoes off in the house please person. I take mine off automatically anyway.

OP posts:

PPie10 · 17/04/2016 13:38

Yabu, I don't know anyone who removes shoes. I certainly would never ask anyone to remove their shoes as I personally think it's very rude. Your Dh could have said something but he chose not to. Let it go.

Original poster

JeVoudrais · 17/04/2016 13:40

The carpet is going. But not until it is dry enough to leave furniture outside for floorboard sanding and varnishing. Then it will feel much cleaner

OP posts:

Original poster

JeVoudrais · 17/04/2016 13:41

I admit I am quite surprised that everyone I can think of is a no shoes person and yet so many on here are very what the hey shoes are fine. Hmmmm

OP posts:

TheWeeBabySeamus1 · 17/04/2016 13:44

Do people wear shoes in their own houses? I always thought my DM was weird for keeping hers on (first thing I do when I get in is kick them off - I love being barefoot) but it's starting to look like I'm the oddball

LettingAgentNightmare · 17/04/2016 13:47

It's very rude to ask someone to remove their shoes IMO.

mummytime · 17/04/2016 13:47

I don't wear shoes much in my house, but it isn't a rule. We have a bit of a rule on no shoes upstairs, but that get ignored if someone has a last minute "I've forgotten something".
I do feel a bit off when people ask me to remove shoes in their house, but comply. I wouldn't take my shoes off in someone else's house unless asked.

Yseulte · 17/04/2016 13:50

I think you need to focus on getting help for your OCD rather than fixating on this perceived transgression.

And consider putting up a sign in your hall so people are reminded.

PPie10 · 17/04/2016 13:51

I think it's extremely rude to ask people to remove their shoes especially during cold weather. I would feel miserable sitting there barefoot.

Chickpeachick0 · 17/04/2016 13:51

I go into people's houses for my job ,hate hate hate taking my shoes off , always or offer to put little covers over shoes or keep them on . Also means a quick exit - no faffing !
In my house - hard floors downstairs , so not that bothered and most come around the back door if muddy . At my friends who I would probably always take shoes off .

firsttimemum15 · 17/04/2016 13:52

I have the same rule. It drives me mad when people pick up their shoes from he hall and put them on in the living room

Defeats the point

Even if people don't take shoes off in their house I will take mine off. It's what I do I expect them then to do the same.

Talisin · 17/04/2016 13:53

I usually wear slippers indoors but it would never even occur to me to ask people to take their shoes off unless they were visibly filthly or something. I'm trying to think if I have ever been asked to do this at someone elses house and I don't think so.

diddl · 17/04/2016 13:53

We're shoes off, as is everyone we know!

When I watch property programmes & people are looking around a house, it makes me feel a bit sick when they just walk around everywhere with their shoes on!

I just don't find shoes on in a house comfortable, it somehow doesn't make sense to me.

WorraLiberty · 17/04/2016 13:57

I admit I am quite surprised that everyone I can think of is a no shoes person and yet so many on here are very what the hey shoes are fine. Hmmmm

I genuinely don't care whether people remove their shoes or not, as long as they're not muddy. But then again, I don't have OCD.

I was brought up in a 'shoes on' house, as were my parents. We're still here, still healthy and still happy.

magimedi · 17/04/2016 13:58

I don't know anyone, except on Mumsnet, who would insist you took your shoes off when going into their house.

WorraLiberty · 17/04/2016 13:58

But on the other hand, if you're suffering from OCD this badly, your DH really should have made sure they removed their shoes, due to the distress it causes you.

Are you getting help for your disorder?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 20 21

Swipe left for the next trending thread