To be pissed off re shoes on in the house

[JeVoudrais]

Had visitors round this morning. I didn't answer the door as was occupied and came down 15 mins later.

Shoes on. In my carpeted living room. When they left, I asked DP and he said they always keep shoes on when they come. I expect it is because we have dogs. They know perfectly well that we rug doctored not long ago and that the dogs do not go in the living room with wet or dirty feet, though.

Regardless of how hygienic they think my carpet is, would it not be polite to at least ask regarding shoes? We have always removed shoes ASAP in their house because they take theirs off and it is expected of their guests.

I have OCD and am having a meltdown inside currently. AIBU to tell them in no uncertain terms next time that SHOES ARE NOT ALLOWED and ban them from my house if they want to keep them on?

YANBU

Your home you are allowed to ask people to take their shoes off, I don't know why people feel uncomfortable taking off their shoes?

I might not ask in a dinner party situation though if people have got all dressed up, but as a general rule I ask people to take them off.

makes perfect sense to me, why would anyone want extra dirt germs and grime on your carpets or floors

Not sure why it's rude to ask someone!

YABU. I don't allow shoes in the house but I make it very clear to all guests and visitors well in advance. If no one told me to take them off in advance or when I arrived, then you can't blame me for keeping them on.

I don't know anyone who expects people to take their shoes off. Only heard of this on mumsnet.

It's bad manners to tell people to take their shoes off. If my shoe are muddy I would obviously take them off but I'm certainly not going barefoot in someone's house, especially if they have dogs.

That makes no sense Penguine

If your problem is with 'extra germs' on your carpet, there wont be any less just because your guests are 'dressed up at a dinner party'.

we all keep our shoes on in this house - fairly relaxed about it really. We have two dogs, plus mostly hard floors with the odd rug. I like to wear my UGG slippers indoors, but only if I'm not going out again. Children are constantly in and out of french doors to play in garden - I cannot be bothered on insisting shoes are removed/replaced every two minutes.
I doubt your ILs know they have offended you - just ask them to take them off next time, your house, your rules.

And thinking again about germs...

If people are removing boots and trainers for example, how are their sweaty socks less 'germy'?

I wear my shoes in the house. If I'm walking the dog I put my boots on and change back to my shoes or trainers when I come into the house. If I was asked to remove my shoes in someone else's house I would, but I wouldn't be happy.

Is it just me that finds the idea of "guest slippers" gross?

I really don't want to wear footwear previous used by God knows how many other people.

I have to admit I find a "shoes off" approach unwelcoming (obv unless they are filthy).
I say this as someone with brand new cream carpets - I just had them treated with stain guard.

What do you do if you have a party? Insist that everyone who has put on their lovely outfits walks around barefoot or borrowed footwear?

Ultimately it's your house, your rules but I have to say I find it all a bit previous and inhospitable.

I would clean my carpets after a dinner party. If people had not taken off shoes.

It's not something I would like to do on a daily basis, if someone popped round/ Or with kiddos and their mates who can be in and out.

But as a general rule I don't have to ask people to remove shoes they either ask shoes off or on / or just take them off.

We I admire your dedication Penguine.

I'm obviously a slatten as it wouldn't occur to me to get out my Vax after a party

I have one friend who asks for shoes off, but only if I have come round just after she has done her floors. Otherwise, this is not something I come across very often. I'd be happy to take my shoes off if someone asked, but I'd be very confused if someone was upset or offended because I didn't offer.

I would never ask a guest to remove their shoes.
How unwelcoming.

I don't want to take off my shoes in a house with dogs in - god knows how many germs they harbour, and I do not want them sniffing my feet. I would also think if a family have a dog then it would be a shoes on house. And to be honest if I haven't put socks on and worn converse do you want me to parade my stink feet around the house?

Its very rude not to offer to take shoes off when entering someone else's home. You either ask, or you begin to do it. If they don't mind you keeping them on (or want you to) then they say so.

It is one of those situations where not offering puts the other person in the awkward position of having to ask, because someone has assumed.

Since they are family they should already know how it is, especially since you have asked them to remove their shoes on previous occasions, AND they expect it in their own home.

It sounds like they are taking the piss because their son lets them. Get DH on board and make sure they are asked every time till they get used to it. If they have issues about your dogs perhaps they could bring slippers.

The only shoes off person I know in real life is my brother in law. He's an uptight arse and I assumed he was quite alone in his insistence.

I didn't know so many didn't wear socks in shoes? I don't think I would like barefoot, either. Athlete's foot is more common than many would think, too. One of my friends lends people socks if they don't have any. I haven't had that come up to know what I would actually do.

My OCD is actually quite good at the moment. The carpet definitely needs to go before I get into a bad patch though. At least with hard floors I can clean it afterwards. I don't feel like I can fix carpet when shoes have been on it Shopping bags don't go on work tops because they have been in trolleys/in the boot/perhaps on the floor. Its a contamination thing in my head. Handbags stay on the floor etc too. I can clean things like that though if people put things where I wouldn't. But I can't fix the carpet, and they know how I feel about carpet

sorry, DP* not DH

If they have issues about your dogs perhaps they could bring slippers.

Perhaps they just won't come back?

Its very rude not to offer to take shoes off when entering someone else's home. You either ask, or you begin to do it. If they don't mind you keeping them on (or want you to) then they say so.

Ridiculous. My friends would think I'd taken leave of my senses if I asked if I should take my shoes off.

hidingunderarock it can't be very rude not to take your shoes off. I only have wonderful friends and family and they never offer.

My house is freezing and damp - I'd never insist on shoes off, people would have such cold feet! But if I go to someone's house and they have a 'shoes off' policy, I prefer to know in advance so I can wear slip-ons. Lacing and unlacing shoes can be miserable if you've got a bad back.

I hope you're feeling better now, Voudrais. Contamination fear is a horrible thing.

Perhaps they just won't come back?
Perhaps if they can't respect the OPs rules for her house even though they are the same as their rules for their own house that would be a good thing for a while.
But far more likely it never needs to come to that.

I didn't know so many didn't wear socks in shoes?

What about sandals in Summer?

YANBU!

I had visitors and all of them kept their shoes on in my freshly hoovered house. It really annoyed me that they didnt ask and I felt like I couldnt really say anything.

Its part of my culture that we take shoes off but I still couldnt bring myself to say anything as I am too polite and want to be a good host. Oh well... just need to hoover again..

Yes riders I am relieved I am not alone in thinking this!