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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to want to stab people who ask "is she sleeping through the night yet?"

173 replies

Wizzles · 17/04/2016 06:15

They don't give a shit if she is or not, they just want to be able to tell me that their little darling is.

Then there's the ones who say things like "he's sleeping through from 7 til 7 with a feed at 1am". Well then he's NOT "sleeping through" then is he?!

Disclaimer: clearly I'm not actually going to stab anyone. I'm just very tired and pissed off.

OP posts:

2ManySweets · 17/04/2016 06:16

YANBU.

Do actually stab them though. It's the only way these folk learn. A toasting fork should do it.

magratsflyawayhair · 17/04/2016 06:21

No you're not U. People I knew well used to say this knowing full well my DD was a shit sleeper and it was killing me.

If I'm talking to other parents now (with a second child who does sleep well) I ask "how's the sleep" with a sympathetic tone.

Go, have coffee, plan to carry a small corn on the cob skewer to stab them with without them noticing.

2ManySweets · 17/04/2016 06:25

What even is "sleeping through" anyway? For me it's when my DD wound sleep 11pm - 5am. Think people have different opinions on what constitutes sleeping through giving you even more reason to get the toasting fork out when the smugness begins...

toomuchtooold · 17/04/2016 06:27

The only good thing is that you will have your revenge, probably - when babies sleep through the night at under 3 months, the parents have absolutely no idea how to coax a baby back to sleep, so when they have a sleep regression or a cold or anything, they'll be up all night scratching their heads while you'll have mastered all the gentle sleep techniques.

(My favourite is hand on bum - if they're a bit moany, or if you've had them up for milk/water/calpol and they're not quite ready to fall asleep alone, sometimes a hand on their back/bum is enough reassurance that you're there without providing any entertainment that would keep them awake).

Eminybob · 17/04/2016 06:30

Haha yeah I remember this from when ds was tiny.
The first of our postnatal group to announce their DC was sleeping through was actually still waking but as she was giving her water not milk she thought it didn't count

DS took ages to sleep though, but is a fab sleeper now. A few of the group are going through a 2 year regression but I just keep my mouth shut. You know the minute I say DS sleeps well he'll start waking again!

SeasonalVag · 17/04/2016 06:33

MOST People ask out of sympathy because it's the hardest thing to deal with about having a baby...I know I do......And what else can you ask about a new born? "Hows her tennis" "what are her thoughts on brexit" wouldn't really cut it, I imagine.

but you do get goady fuckers....I referenced my two year old son still not sleeping on fb once and my sil swung in with "oh our little darling wakes us up to coos and giggles every morning at nine" .... I did get quite stabby....in fact I really hated her for ages #totally irrational

Writerwannabe83 · 17/04/2016 06:40

Then there's the ones who say things like "he's sleeping through from 7 til 7 with a feed at 1am". Well then he's NOT "sleeping through" then is he?!*

I always inwardly laugh when someone says something like this - I have never understood how waking up for a feed is the same as "sleeping through".....

Original poster

Wizzles · 17/04/2016 06:42

2ManySweets What even is "sleeping through" anyway?

Exactly !! Everyone has their own definition of it, which is based on what their baby does!

I bumped into an über-competitive couple with a similar aged baby & the first thing he asked was if DD was sleeping through. Look at the bags under my eyes, what do you think?! Alhough hilariously when I asked them the same question back, they answered at the same time: she said "God, no" at the same time her DH said "Almost". If you're going to lie, at least get your story straight

OP posts:

Meggymoodle · 17/04/2016 06:42

My GP asked that at my 6-week check. When I said no I wouldn't expect her to, he then said she should be, unless of course I was breast feeding 😧.

Just rise above it Wizzles - you retain the moral high ground by not stabbing people.

Original poster

Wizzles · 17/04/2016 06:47

"Hows her tennis" "what are her thoughts on brexit"

OP posts:

drasticfantastic · 17/04/2016 06:48

YANBU

I have a 9 week old. And no, he very much isn't. I wish people would stop asking, especially as the only people who ask seem to be the ones with babies who slept through from 6 weeks. Rage! Rage rage rage.

My DD didn't properly sleep through (by which I mean 7-7 or thereabouts) until she was 2.5yrs. I hope DS is sooner...

Chottie · 17/04/2016 06:56

Ignore, ignore, ignore......

I really feel your pain. My DS was a non sleeper too. However, once he became a teenager, he made up for all the sleep he had missed when younger

Fleck · 17/04/2016 06:59

YANBU. I hate it as much as 'is he/ she a good baby?' Well apart from the 666 behind the ear I reckon so... Don't worry though, they will stop asking. My 21 month old has never come close to sleeping through and my 4 year old still has bad nights quite often, but by now people just assume they must be sleeping and I find it's easier not to enlighten them - you just end up with people telling you to leave them by themselves screaming, and that's not going to happen.

2ManySweets · 17/04/2016 07:36

But really - what are her thoughts on Brexit?

FatalFemme · 17/04/2016 07:44

they answered at the same time: she said "God, no" at the same time her DH said "Almost". If you're going to lie, at least get your story straight

See, if this was me and dp, this would be due to his superhuman ability to sleep through anything. Usual morning conversation:

Dp: he did quite well last night didn't he?
Me: not really, he was up three times
Dp: really?!
Me: stabby

toomuchtooold · 17/04/2016 07:53

Fatal that reminds me of my favourite Peppa Pig episode (I know, I know).

Daddy pig: when George was a baby, we used to get him to go to sleep by putting him in his pram and pushing him round the outside of the house. How many times was it, Mummy Pig? 3 times?
Mummy pig: 50 times.

Lasaraleen · 17/04/2016 07:54

I have often read that the "proper" definition of sleeping through is 7-7. Measured against that lofty standard, my ds has never slept through. He is 10 (years). At least now he's quieter about it.

I spent at the least the first 2 years of his life hating anyone whose child had the temerity to wake after 5am.

2ManySweets · 17/04/2016 08:04

So here is stupid question #2:

If a baby sleeps through 7-7 do you

A) change their nappy in that time and
B) feed them in that interval?

My baby is only 9w old and like the OP I'm getting asked the same (homicide-inducing) question already - sorry for thread hijack OP!

Tangoandcreditcards · 17/04/2016 08:05

Haha. I have a 17wo. When people ask if he's a good sleeper I say I'm not really paying much attention as I'm up half the night with my 2yo anyway.

Stab away.

ApocalypseNowt · 17/04/2016 08:17

2ManySweets

A) Hell no
B) Nope or that's not sleeping through

HTH

DD1 was a brilliant sleeper (takes after me....sleeping is one of my skills). DD2 was....less good. Much improved now she's a toddler though.

I love it when someone uses the phrase "I slept like a baby". In my head I picture them waking up, screaming, crying, shitting themselves....

ollieplimsoles · 17/04/2016 08:20

I seriously don't get this obsession with sleeping through the night, babies are supposed to wake up aren't they?

selsigfach · 17/04/2016 08:28

My daughter has only just started to at 16 months, my boobs don't know what's hit them!

HermioneWeasley · 17/04/2016 08:29

Mine didn't sleep through until they were about 2 - it nearly killed me. But th both take themselves off to bed, get themselves to sleep and we never had any shenanigans with them getting Out of bed constantly etc.

Your time to be smug will come when other parents are lying on their kids' bedroom floors all night singing them to sleep

FretYeNot · 17/04/2016 08:33

My younger two were not reliably sleeping through until nursery, my usual come-back was always "Well, you know non-sleepers are more intelligent..."

Bungleboggs · 17/04/2016 08:35

My twins slept through from 5 months, people used to delight in saying "bet you never sleep with those, are they sleeping?" To which I used to say yes I'm getting about 9-10 hours a night!; then the daggers and cats bum face. Why ask?????

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