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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to want to stab people who ask "is she sleeping through the night yet?"

173 replies

Wizzles · 17/04/2016 06:15

They don't give a shit if she is or not, they just want to be able to tell me that their little darling is.

Then there's the ones who say things like "he's sleeping through from 7 til 7 with a feed at 1am". Well then he's NOT "sleeping through" then is he?!

Angry

Disclaimer: clearly I'm not actually going to stab anyone. I'm just very tired and pissed off.

OP posts:
loveulotslikejellytots · 17/04/2016 10:45

I should also say that DH didn't sleep through until he started school (and he's a July baby so he was 5). So anything is better than that! Poor MIL I think she is still tired!

FirstWeTakeManhattan · 17/04/2016 10:50

We have 3 DC. It's something that people ask to be nice/make conversation. I've rarely found there's any agenda. Most people barely even listen to my sleep-deprived, rambling reply. Grin

Fratelli · 17/04/2016 10:50

When ds did sleep through the first time (around 5 months) I was too scared to tell anyone in case they thought I was bragging! I told my mum and asked her not to tell anyone!

thereareworsethingsicoulddo · 17/04/2016 10:57

YANBU
Stab away I might join you I haven't had more than 2 hours sleep in a row in 7 months

Original poster
Wizzles · 17/04/2016 11:00

Bravada i'll take any advice! (No stabbing)

Does anyone think it makes a difference that I exclusively breastfeed? Would a bedtime dose of formula make any difference?

OP posts:
Original poster
Wizzles · 17/04/2016 11:03

jenjen86 I would never voluntarily wake my baby, but wtf do I know? Wink

OP posts:
fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 17/04/2016 11:08

My 9 year old doesn't sleep through, if that makes you feel better Grin (don't worry yours will sleep through far far before that...hopefully tonight!)

Dancergirl · 17/04/2016 11:21

YANBU

FFS, babies are not supposed to sleep through the night. They have tiny tummies and need to eat regularly.

Aim for good sleeping habits at 2, 3 and later. That's what's important.

HSMMaCM · 17/04/2016 11:22

Jenjen whatever works for you is fine Thanks

leholly · 17/04/2016 11:42

Bravada please tell us! I have 2 DD. My 3.5 yo slept thru at 9 months - we ended up sewing a dummy to her sleeping bag so she could always find it. But maybe she was just going to start sleeping thru anyway....I don't think you can ever tell a baby what to do. My almost 6 mo is up every 2.5 - 3 hours. This is despite my smug sureness when we were TTC with her that this one would definitely be a great sleeper! I find family are the worst - DM says once a DAY how her 4 all slept thru by 3 months just after she asks about my night, and my DS's DD (just 3mo younger than my 6mo) regularly messages me about another great night of sleep. If she werent living abroad I would be stabby. Could we make badges like the "baby on board" ones? "Baby not sleeping"? Saves people asking!

WillowinGloves · 17/04/2016 11:51

I always found that the next part of the conversation was the other smug mum telling you how they got theirs to sleep. Usually along the lines of, 'Well, I got little DD into such a Good Routine ...' implying I was an incompetent waster who let my child stay up drinking fizzy pop from a bottle and watching cartoons. DS didn't sleep through for 2.5 years - quite literally, just five nights in that time. Struggled to nap either. He was beyond even the sleep clinic. Now nearly 20 and still has insomnia and see, I still remember those five nights!! Be brave, it gets better. And be kind to yourself while you're tired.

Alisvolatpropiis · 17/04/2016 12:04

I never bring up sleep with other mums because my daughter sleeps well and it makes me feel uncomfortable getting death stares saying so unprompted.

I'm not going to lie if directly asked though. She's slept through i.e 10+ hours since she was 16 weeks old. Prior to that she spent around 5 weeks sleeping 11pm-6am, which I considered sleeping well but not sleeping through.

Of course, she's obviously stupid because she sleeps Hmm

Why must women say things like that to each other, I have never heard men get jealous because x's baby sleeps better so come out with shit something intended to hurt the other parent. As it is their fault your baby doesn't sleep through Hmm

doleritedinosaur · 17/04/2016 12:09

I hated the question when DS was younger, he was 10 months when he now "sleeps through" but will wake up & self settle or will want a feed at 2 which is rare now but if he's teething or ill back to old routine.

I had loads of "mine slept through from 6 weeks", "we do a routine" etc.

I have found some people want to be smug but some just want to show they're going through it too.

Alisvolatpropiis · 17/04/2016 12:13

And for the record, I didn't do CIO, enforce a routine or anything of the sort. She just sleeps.

Original poster
Wizzles · 17/04/2016 12:18

The men never join in cos they get to sleep!
How many of us have had that conversation with DH?
"That was a good night, wasn't it?"
"No it was fucking awful, you just missed it"

Still, at least one of the three of us sleeps through! Grin

OP posts:
2ManySweets · 17/04/2016 12:44

apocalypse thanks for explaining! I get lots of "nappy guilt"

wizzles I cry when Farage comes on TV too Hmm

ShtoppenDerFloppen · 17/04/2016 12:47

I asked a friend if their DC was sleeping through the night. She looked shattered and I was going to offer to take the baby for a few hours so she could sleep.

Sure glad I didn't get stabbed.

Alisvolatpropiis · 17/04/2016 13:11

Um, my husband has always helped in the night so he'd know perfectly well if the baby was sleeping well or not.

SweepTheHalls · 17/04/2016 13:21

I do a dream feed at 10 pm for my 15 weeker. Sometimes she wakes as I do it, sometimes she doesn't, but it does get us through to 6.30 am most nights which us a win here!

Original poster
Wizzles · 17/04/2016 13:32

Oh stop rubbing it Alisvolatpropiis !

Wink
OP posts:
Original poster
Wizzles · 17/04/2016 13:34

*rubbing it in !

OP posts:
Freezingwinter · 17/04/2016 13:36

Of course yanbu. Just reply with a smug look and say yes, i weaned her at 8 weeks and she walked at 6 months.

unimagimative13 · 17/04/2016 13:37

My baby sleeps through- what am
I suppose to say when people as me- it's always sleep deprived mummies who look like they want to stab me that ask. I lie now in fear of being stabbed.

When my baby is asleep in a pram I feel eyes burning in the back of my head by this mothers rocking their screaming babies to sleep. I may start poking my baby to do some screaming Blush

Original poster
Wizzles · 17/04/2016 13:42

Mine will sleep very nicely in her pram so to the outside world she probably gives off the impression of being a great sleeper.

She's like a homing pigeon though, as soon as we start walking up the path to the front door she suddenly perks up!

OP posts:
GlitterGlassEye · 17/04/2016 14:13

My youngest dc is 19 months old and has never, ever slept through. What's annoying is my dm telling me I look tired at least once a week. Of course I'm fucking tired you haven't babysat for 3 months! (She is actually very good with the dc but she should realise that I know I look terrible and she makes me feel worse).