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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my baby is absolutely not too old to be breastfeeding

309 replies

NoCapes · 29/01/2016 21:15

I know what you're thinking, this is going to be about somebody breastfeeding a toddler or pre-schooler and there will be a bit of a debate ...
Well, my baby is 12 fucking weeks old!

Having tea and a scone in M&S cafe this afternoon when an older lady walking past, not realising he was feeding, stopped to coo at him and when she realised he was fucking about and absolutely not feeding feeding she looked disgusted, tutted and walked away saying to her husband (presumably) that "that baby was far too old to be doing that I mean, really!" Causing a few people around to look over and see what I was doing to my baby

I was shocked and alone at the time (mum was in the queue) and I didn't say anything, just sunk into my chair a little bit
Telling DP when I got in and I'm actually ashamed to say that I had a little cry, and now I'm annoyed that I was upset about it
Stupid woman

AIBU to think - what the fuckity fuck, he is absolutely no where near 'too old' and to be really fucking annoyed with myself that I didn't say anything and that I let her upset me?

OP posts:

Scarletforya · 29/01/2016 21:17

Yanbu.

What a stupid arse of a woman!

RevoltingPeasant · 29/01/2016 21:18

People are weird. They often don't know how old DC are if they don't have their own. She probably thought he was about 7 or something.

Don't give it another thought.

Theodolia · 29/01/2016 21:19

What a dickhead that woman must be. And don't blame yourself for not saying anything, i've got hundreds of snappy lines in my head for this situation but probably would end up saying nothing!

DianaTrent · 29/01/2016 21:21

It's not you. It's definitely her. It's crap when people make you feel shit to cover their own emotions because they can't cope with their irrational discomfort at a perfectly normal, healthy part of life.

Wolfiefan · 29/01/2016 21:21

Since when could a baby be too old to bf?!?!

TrinityForce · 29/01/2016 21:21

You have a new baby, can't help getting upset at these things. Don't beat yourself up about it.

The kind of situation you have all the witty retorts to hours later, isn't it?

NotAWhaleOmeletteInSight · 29/01/2016 21:23

Grrr. It's one of those occasions when you think of the brilliant response you would have given if you'd thought of it at the time.

I bet all the people around you also thought she was rude and ignorant.

Of course YANBU. I breastfed for 16 months - god knows what she'd say to that!

Sunflower1985 · 29/01/2016 21:24

I fed my toddler in Morrison's today. He's 2.5yo. I think she would have had a coronory if she walked by

Quietattheback · 29/01/2016 21:24

You should have turned to your baby and said "that women is far too old to be so ignorant, I mean really". except I can never come up with pithy come backs in the heat of the moment and probably would have done the same as you.

NickyEds · 29/01/2016 21:24

YANBU. My dd is 6 months and I've already had "bittie"comments. You're right she was a stupid women. And ignorant. And rude. And ill mannered.....I could go on. As you were op!

SnuffleGruntSnorter · 29/01/2016 21:25

She's an idiot.

But this is probably the start of a huge long list of annoying people who have ridiculous opinions on how you should parent your children. Time to practice your patronising slightly sympathetic smile.

5BlueHydrangea · 29/01/2016 21:25

I fed dd until she was 3. Was always ready with a good argument but must have had my scary face on as no-one challenged me!

kilmuir · 29/01/2016 21:25

did she feel embarrassed maybe. Regardless she was out of order. enjoy your baby and carry on

Greengardenpixie · 29/01/2016 21:25

12 weeks?????? Does your baby look big? Think she has clearly lost touch! I think she felt a bit embaressed to have intruded and projected her feelings on to you. Forget about it.

Original poster

NoCapes · 29/01/2016 21:25

Exactly, since I've been home I've thought I should've threw my scone at her said this and that and always wonder why when people start threads like this that they don't say anything at the time, but yeah I froze
Haha Revolting he's a big boy admittedly but I think 7 is pushing it slightly

OP posts:

fakenamefornow · 29/01/2016 21:25

Sorry you're upset, please don't be.

The behaviour of that women is so stupid the only response is laughter. I don't know how she must manage going out in town if she's going to be offended by every breast feeding baby (over 12 weeks!) she see's. Honesty op I wish that had happened to me, I'd be dining out on that story for years.

Alisvolatpropiis · 29/01/2016 21:26

Is 12 weeks a typo? Did you mean 12 years?

If not then of course the women was being completely unreasonable and weird!

Sheezus · 29/01/2016 21:26

She's a dick.
Don't give her any more head space.
You'd love to have the time to think of a smart ass response, like, he's not too old but you are and I'm not offering! Or Jesus, you should see my 4 year old go at it!!

My MIL was my biggest challenge when feeding so I sympathise.
I prefer to remember the knowing looks and nods from other mothers or the supportive shoulder squeezes or the whispered, "you're doing a great job".

You're doing a great job OP!

cantgonofurther · 29/01/2016 21:26

I would have reacted the same.
I fact at 12 weeks I didn't dare leave the house because of breastfeeding baby.

Ignore her and be proud.

NeedsAMousekatool · 29/01/2016 21:27

Ah, some people say the stupidest things. I had some daft fucker insist my DD was absolutely terrified being carried in a sling, and as we were all trapped in a lift the Daft Fucker was at their leisure to continue insisting. Never mind that DD loved the sling, was looking around perfectly happily, and dozed off about 10 minutes later.

Your M&S café woman would have a shitfit about me, I regularly feed my 18 month old in public. Anyone who doesn't like seeing it is more than welcome to stop looking at my tits, the weirdos.

toffeeboffin · 29/01/2016 21:27

Next time quietly tell people to fuck off with an angry glint in your eye.

Usually works.

NeedsAMousekatool · 29/01/2016 21:28

Just saw your update. Do NOT, under any circumstances, throw away good scone

figureofspeech · 29/01/2016 21:29

Ignore the stupid old narrow minded bat. If it makes you feel better, I breastfed my dc until they were 3 years old and it worked for us. Breastfeed for as long as you want and think of all the money that you are saving from not buying formula almost £10 a tin.

Dolly80 · 29/01/2016 21:29

I agree with others, she sounds a complete arse.

It's so frustrating when afterwards you think of what you should have said to someone (if I'd have been there I'd have happily lobbed some baked goods at her for you).

BathshebaDarkstone · 29/01/2016 21:29

I bfed DS until he was 23 months. The correct response would have been, "oh do fuck off, dear."

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