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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my baby is absolutely not too old to be breastfeeding

309 replies

NoCapes · 29/01/2016 21:15

I know what you're thinking, this is going to be about somebody breastfeeding a toddler or pre-schooler and there will be a bit of a debate ...
Well, my baby is 12 fucking weeks old! Hmm

Having tea and a scone in M&S cafe this afternoon when an older lady walking past, not realising he was feeding, stopped to coo at him and when she realised he was fucking about and absolutely not feeding feeding she looked disgusted, tutted and walked away saying to her husband (presumably) that "that baby was far too old to be doing that I mean, really!" Causing a few people around to look over and see what I was doing to my baby

I was shocked and alone at the time (mum was in the queue) and I didn't say anything, just sunk into my chair a little bit
Telling DP when I got in and I'm actually ashamed to say that I had a little cry, and now I'm annoyed that I was upset about it
Stupid woman

AIBU to think - what the fuckity fuck, he is absolutely no where near 'too old' and to be really fucking annoyed with myself that I didn't say anything and that I let her upset me?

OP posts:
WhyCantIuseTheNameIWant · 29/01/2016 22:13

Margaret. I'm keeping that one!

timelytess · 29/01/2016 22:15

As stated elsewhere tonight, breastfed dd to 4 years 3 months.
Stopped because I couldn't keep still long enough to feed when my marriage broke up.

timelytess · 29/01/2016 22:15

My point being, it takes a long time for a baby to be too old to breastfeed.

NomdePlumage · 29/01/2016 22:18

Not many people feed their toddlers in public. Most people feeding older children do it once or twice a day in the privacy of their own home. It is far more common than you think but we don't tend to advertise it.

I too when I was feeding a newborn thought it was strange to hear a woman at a children's centre saying she was still feeding all four of her children (ranging from newborn to 4)

But I was always feeding a child who was just a day older than she was the day before.

I weaned both of mine together in the end. I was at the later end but there are a few people on Mumsnet who went on longer.

RudeElf · 29/01/2016 22:20

I stopped at 20 months with DS because he just stopped looking for it. At that point he only had BM first thing in the morning and before bed. One morning he woke and didnt look for any milk and that was the end of that. Entirely his choice.

bimandbam · 29/01/2016 22:20

Ah just ignore the silly old bint. I bf ds until he was 18 months and only stopped then cos his latch went shitty and we only did 1 a day and he wasn't interested enough to correct it.

I bf everywhere. Cafes, pubs, restaurants, horse shows, the beach, the plane, in tescos, around the shopping centres.

The most memorable time I bf was when he was about 6 months old. I had been around a huge shopping centre. Ds had slept beautifully in his sling but woken absolutely needing a bf now. We came down the lift in m and s and I was debating whether to stop and feed him now or whether he would make it to the car. A lady happily told me she had bf her baby in the disabled loo and it was quite nice as there was a chair in there.

I know she was trying to be helpful but I just looked at her and said I wasn't feeding in a toilet. Stomped off from a bemused dp and plonked my upset arse on a bench in the little foyer outside. Latched ds on and fed him. Dp came and got the bank card and went to get the bits we needed.

As I was sat there quietly furious and upset and feeling unsupported by dp and society in general for bfing some rough looking old bloke came and sat beside me and proceeded to talk to ds. I didn't think he knew he was feeding so sort of hunkered down a bit. Old bloke asked if I minded him making his rolly up fags. I said of course not as long as he didn't light up.

He looked at me and said he wouldn't because fag police would be all over him like a rash. But he wouldn't anyway next to a baby doing what it should be doing and a mam doing what she should be doing. And how nice it was to see a bairn 'on't boob' (we are in Yorkshire) and obviously thriving on it. He asked me how old he was and told me I should stick with it cos there wasn't owt a boob wouldn't cure even when he was running around. And it was for nowt too so you can't beat that.

I had just started getting grief from family and friends for 'still' bfing and his words really picked me up when I was feeling a bit down about it all. He was the last sort of person I would expect to be promoting bfing. But he made me feel like a queen for a few minutes and it really negated all the crap I had heard.

Keep going and take absolutely no fucking notice of anyone else.

Stephieee · 29/01/2016 22:25

YANBU! No way is he too old Angry

Original poster
NoCapes · 29/01/2016 22:26

Margaret Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
NoCapes · 29/01/2016 22:27

bimandbam what a lovely story
DP agrees that there ain't owt a boob can't cure, although I think his motives are slightly different Hmm

OP posts:
boatrace30 · 29/01/2016 22:27

backin - sadly don't think it is becoming more common judging by this article, published today UK 'world's worst' at breastfeeding
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-35438049.

Original poster
NoCapes · 29/01/2016 22:30

I would just like to add that I am sorry for any offence caused with my scone throwing threats
I would never really commit such a dispicible act against delicious baked goods
I was upset
It was the heat of the moment
I am ashamed

OP posts:
Maudofallhopefulness · 29/01/2016 22:30

Fucking hell, 12 weeks! I'd only just got the proper hand of it with ds1 by then. Ds2 was 2 before we stopped, but not in the M&S cafe.

Kirkenes · 29/01/2016 22:31

Just playing devils advocate here but are you sure you heard her properly? No one would think 12 weeks is too old to be BF. I'd have thought it would be much more likely that she had 'something wrong with her that meant she says inappropriate things, such as dementia or that you misheard.

Even the phrase that she used sounds peculiar?

RudeElf · 29/01/2016 22:39

It depends if she is of the "mince and gravy at 3 weeks" mentality. She could easily think 12 weeks is too old if she is one of the ones that weaned very early.

Valentine2 · 29/01/2016 22:39

Sounds like a right old bat . Why cry because of her?

Valentine2 · 29/01/2016 22:40

You should have said "really? I never realised its 2016!"
In your mind I mean. 😋

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 29/01/2016 22:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

eyebrowse · 29/01/2016 22:47

There is an article today on bbc news that the UK has the lowest rate of breastfeeding in the world. Its really not a tradition here any more which is aided and abetted by short maternity leaves and bottle milk adverts. However I think WHO guidelines are sole breast feeding for six months and that its beneficial for 2 years although I think once they are about 9 months they probably can be fed morning and night so you don't have to in public. Also if babies are small mothers are encouraged to mix feed in the UK whereas in other countries I know of it is assumed that mothers produce enough milk.

AlpacaPicnic · 29/01/2016 22:48

That's ok nocapes, we all knew it was just stress that made you threaten the scone...

Might I suggest a purchase of a water pistol?

RudeElf · 29/01/2016 22:50

Might I suggest a purchase of a water pistol?

Filled with breastmilk Grin

Original poster
NoCapes · 29/01/2016 23:05

Water pistol filled with breastmilk - we have a winner! Grin

NeedAScarf I have produced bright orange breast milk before now, didn't check whether it tasted of orange fruit shoot though, I missed a trick there didn't I!

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/01/2016 23:08

Goodness, what an incredibly ignorant woman she must be.
Ignore her, and remember the stock of useful phrases for anyone else who should choose to interfere in your child-rearing in future.

I bf both of mine to around 2 - DS1 was 23m, DS2 was 25m when they stopped. DS1 - perfect timing, within a week he'd forgotten all about it. DS2 - would have liked to carry on and was still asking a few weeks later. He still has a bit of a "thing" for my boobs even now, at 3.3!

My sister was disgusted that I would do it at all - she couldn't bear the thought of being "like a cow" and couldn't watch me doing it either. Her problem, not mine. However, when she tried to tell her DDs that what I was doing was disgusting, and my oldest niece said the same thing, I had Words. It's one thing to feel like it yourself, entirely another to put that same thing onto your DDs who might then be put off themselves when they're old enough to have their own babies. :(

Ditsy4 · 29/01/2016 23:13

Ha ha!
I can still remember a man that kept looking over in Tesco cafe and eventually got disgusted and put his paper up when baby swapped sides. I have a poncho shawl thing on he would have seen more breast on a woman shopping ( low cut top) than what he saw of mine. He muttered something as he went past. Upset me, baby was starving, what was I supposed to do go in the toilet! I laughed at my friend when a woman told her she should go in the toilet. Friend replied, " Would you like to take your dinner and eat it on the toilet! "
Fed one for four months, one for about 18mths, third had allergies so he was nearly three and last was about two. It is brilliant that you are feeding some people are just rude and ignorant.

ridemesideways · 29/01/2016 23:20

My daughter feeding at almost 3 yo... Who wants to tell me it looks wrong??

Original poster
NoCapes · 29/01/2016 23:23

rideme look at that cheeky little face! She's gorgeous Smile

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