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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my baby is absolutely not too old to be breastfeeding

309 replies

NoCapes · 29/01/2016 21:15

I know what you're thinking, this is going to be about somebody breastfeeding a toddler or pre-schooler and there will be a bit of a debate ...
Well, my baby is 12 fucking weeks old! Hmm

Having tea and a scone in M&S cafe this afternoon when an older lady walking past, not realising he was feeding, stopped to coo at him and when she realised he was fucking about and absolutely not feeding feeding she looked disgusted, tutted and walked away saying to her husband (presumably) that "that baby was far too old to be doing that I mean, really!" Causing a few people around to look over and see what I was doing to my baby

I was shocked and alone at the time (mum was in the queue) and I didn't say anything, just sunk into my chair a little bit
Telling DP when I got in and I'm actually ashamed to say that I had a little cry, and now I'm annoyed that I was upset about it
Stupid woman

AIBU to think - what the fuckity fuck, he is absolutely no where near 'too old' and to be really fucking annoyed with myself that I didn't say anything and that I let her upset me?

OP posts:
ridemesideways · 29/01/2016 23:28

Grin Fed til she was 3.5... Still proud of that many years later

Yourarejokingme · 29/01/2016 23:35

Bf all 5
Ranging from 6 weeks to 3.4 years

I have use Margaret's line in the past.
I have refused to use any toilets
I can't always be decreet with an older child.
I'd be more inclined to tell the old bat to fuck off
Bim lovely story.

PirateJones · 29/01/2016 23:50

I've always regretted not breastfeeding mini-pirate and still do, he was very calcium deficient for quite a few years.

fabgreat · 30/01/2016 00:03

I have bf my three. My 3rd child is 11 months and I aim to finish when she is one, but being my last child, I will find this difficult, as I enjoy it. As a previous poster said...when they start solids and don't drink as much. ..you don't need to feed so much in public. Anyway what I'm trying to say is that 12 weeks is early days and when you are out and about,you need to feed. Anywhere you like! U are doing great. The woman was probably having a bad day. And from my experience..women who have breastfed are encouraging....but those who haven't are not so encouraging...Therefore this lady may not understand the closeness etc you get from breastfeeding or was embarrassed? Also...just to add i don't care how any mother feeds their baby, as long as every baby is content.

tangerinesarenottheonlyfruit · 30/01/2016 00:26

"I'm just saying that for a lot of people when the kids are walking around, interacting etc and no longer babies, the bf thing starts to look odd."

That's only because you're not used to seeing it, because if we do it in public people like you stare and say stupid things! But plenty of people feed their DC much older than you would imagine in private.

I fed DS till he 4. DD is still feeding and she's 2.9.

TheExMotherInLaw · 30/01/2016 01:40

Grrr! if she was THAT old, how did her mother feed her? From a vinegar bottle?
I'm over 60, and fed mine until 18 months and 21 months.

ProcrastinatorGeneral · 30/01/2016 01:53

I was in a branch of Costa once, and an older man was sat with his wife and another couple at a table next to me. I was feeding my very small six week old at the time. He clocked what I was doing and started huffing about it being disgusting. His wife tore so many strips off him for that, it was quite amusing to watch. She informed him he was deluded if he thought he'd managed to get to his seventies without having been fed the same way as a baby, and asked if he'd conveniently forgotten how she had fed their children. It was ace. He was suitably quiet afterwards.

noddingoff · 30/01/2016 01:54

In the "brilliant comeback several hours too late" spirit of this thread, how about:
"You're absolutely right. He's old enough to buck his ideas up and latch instead of fecking around. I mean really".

Love bimandbam's story.

FastWindow · 30/01/2016 02:05

How many babies have gone unnecessarily hungry through poor mum being embarrassed into not feeding until they are suitably away from decent eyes ? Even two minutes is a long time in a three week old baby. If you are bf, and practiced, you can have a nipple to a baby in about 10 seconds. Audience be damned Angry

ICJump · 30/01/2016 02:10

What a nasty nasty woman.

I probably would have cried too.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 30/01/2016 02:20

Procrastinator - I would have LOVED to have heard that! Grin

PirateJones · 30/01/2016 02:21

Procrastinator Grin

Alisvolatpropiis · 30/01/2016 02:33

Well quite Fast!

I ff but a number of my friends bf and as far as I know they have never felt uncomfortable feeding their babies in public and nor should they!

northdownmummy · 30/01/2016 02:40

I've had the opposite experience, twice recently I've had strangers come over and say how lovely it is to see someone feeding in public. Both times really made my day

Sometimesithinkimbonkers · 30/01/2016 03:28

I used to say .... Oh yeah I know but my DH is 34 and I can't get him off either....BlushI fed two kids until 16 months when they both self weaned!
Try having a tube fed one.... Pitying looks make me want to kick people !!!

Eminybob · 30/01/2016 04:21

She's clearly a mad old boot. I'm sorry she upset you. It probably would have upset me too but remember it's her issues, nothing to do with you.

I remember going for lunch when DS was about 5 months old with some family I hadn't seen since he was a newborn.

DS was a bit of a chubster and SIL made a comment about how he must be on hungry baby milk, or something or other. I said no I'm still breastfeeding, and my god you would have thought I'd just told her I was feeding him pure arsenic. Her face! She could barely look at me the rest of the meal.
I'm really ashamed to say that when I did need to feed him I actually moved away from the table and went and did it in private but I regret doing that. I shouldn't have let someone else's narrow mindedness change my behaviour.

Aridane · 30/01/2016 05:39

OP - YABU to even have to ask the question - of course you weren't being unreasonable to BF your baby!

BlackSwan · 30/01/2016 05:56

I had strangers come and tell me my baby's glasses were on upside down - they were wrong of course, it was just the style - but seriously, people think they can butt in and give you their unwanted opinions.

I remember from childhood a number of bitter and nasty old ladies. Seems they are still about.

MoonriseKingdom · 30/01/2016 07:19

When my DD was younger than yours my DGM was dying in hospital in another city. I travelled by train then walked a long way in the rain to see her. I wasn't allowed to take the baby to the bedside so the nurses let me feed her in a quiet room. I had relatively large breasts and a very tiny daughter. An older lady wandered in. I think she thought I was cuddling th baby because she came right up to have a look. She then accused me of smothering the baby! I glared at her and said I'm not. I kept my composure at the time but cried a lot later on.

However, I carried on feeding in public when needed and fed my DD to 14 months. Keep feeding as long as you and your child want!

Mari50 · 30/01/2016 07:27

I breastfed my DD until she was 2.5 and the only negative comment I ever had came from ex DP's mother who told me at 6 months I was being selfish still bf.

Bearsinmotion · 30/01/2016 07:49

I was bfing DS at that age in a garden centre cafe and a very posh looking older lady made me cry. She kept glancing over, I thought disapprovingly. When she left she came past our table, leant over and whispered, "Just wanted to say, how lovely it is to see someone happily feeding their baby in public. You two just look so content."

I was knackered. I was there because I had been going stir crazy at home with DC1 and 2, didn't feel like I was coping at all well with 2 DC and was really feeling quite miserable. It was a real turning point for me, things got much better from that point, at least in part down to that lady!

witsender · 30/01/2016 09:01

Eejit. Given my youngest didn't wean until nigh on 3.5 YEARS 12 weeks us practically a new born!

NorthernRosie · 30/01/2016 09:30

These stories make me sad. As does the fact we have the lowest rates of BF in the world. Even in the US where they all go back to work after two weeks or whatever they manage to keep going longer

I've never had a negative comment - worst has been an elderly man giving me dirty looks in a Patisserie Valerie. I just looked him in the eye and he soon looked away!

blueturtle6 · 30/01/2016 09:56

Old ladies are the worst for unwanted advice. I had one laughing at me in the street whilst trying to work out the rain cover. Wish I'd been quick enough with a retort. Obviously you were being extremely discrete feeding so what's her problem. Dont let it put you off feeding your baby is a wonderful accomplishment.

ouryve · 30/01/2016 10:01

Some people haven't a clue.

My too little too late response would be "sorry but they were all out of bacon sandwiches"