To think my baby is absolutely not too old to be breastfeeding

[NoCapes]

I know what you're thinking, this is going to be about somebody breastfeeding a toddler or pre-schooler and there will be a bit of a debate ...
Well, my baby is 12 fucking weeks old!

Having tea and a scone in M&S cafe this afternoon when an older lady walking past, not realising he was feeding, stopped to coo at him and when she realised he was fucking about and absolutely not feeding feeding she looked disgusted, tutted and walked away saying to her husband (presumably) that "that baby was far too old to be doing that I mean, really!" Causing a few people around to look over and see what I was doing to my baby

I was shocked and alone at the time (mum was in the queue) and I didn't say anything, just sunk into my chair a little bit
Telling DP when I got in and I'm actually ashamed to say that I had a little cry, and now I'm annoyed that I was upset about it
Stupid woman

AIBU to think - what the fuckity fuck, he is absolutely no where near 'too old' and to be really fucking annoyed with myself that I didn't say anything and that I let her upset me?

Fish
No my husband never left me.
Glad you found one of my comments funny

Dipping it in and out of the baby's mouth? Erm perhaps she was trying to get the baby to latch on? Why should she cover up?

Flat what's wrong with getting 'the whole tit' out if that's how some women prefer to feed? If it bothers you why not look away?

I never liked the top-up-top-down method or nursing tops. I wear wrap dresses that can be pulled down on one side. Sometimes I chuck a muslin over my shoulder but sometimes I can't be bothered. My baby is wriggly and often pulls the muslin off anyway. I couldn't care less if people think I lack discretion. My priority is feeding my baby and I will continue to do it openly, without shame. When I meet with my NCT group we all feed together, some discreetly some less discreetly. It's no-one else's business.

Sounds like you have a real chip on your shoulder about FF.

Emeralli
Im all for FF. I dont see a problem with it at all. So I dont know what makes you think that. I never wanted to bf for long anyway. I managed it easily but my son was constantly suckling. I never got a break from it.
Plus I was,going back to work. I preferred FF as I found I got a good four hour routine going which was better. Less demanding and tiring.
Some posters either on this thread or another one on here were going on about formula being 'inferior'. Which is bloody ridiculous.

Same as every other Breast feeding mother I know who had to return to work ASAP. A combo of expressing and using my breaks to be availible for feeds.

Oh by the way your friend at work is a shit husband and a shit dad that is his fault and nobody else's.

Fwiw I do not use blankets or any thing like that I usually wear trousers and tops I don't even bother with nursing bras,I have very large breasts just because I do not conform to your idea of discretion it does not mean I'm dramatically waving my breasts around.

No matter how you dress it up in comparison it is an inferior thing. Even the manufacturers are quite open about it

Some posters either on this thread or another one on here were going on about formula being 'inferior'. Which is bloody ridiculous.

I wonder what is more nutritious and tasty (a) home made minestrone containing fresh vegetables of the season organically grown on the allotment or (b) canned minestrone from Heinz? I know what i'd prefer if I had the choice.

According to scientific research, the NHS could save at least £40m a year if more women were given help to breastfeed for longer, according to

a new report

If half the women who currently do not breastfeed were to do so for up to 18 months, there would be 865 fewer cases of breast cancer, says Unicef, which would save the NHS more than £21m.

If 45% of babies were exclusively breastfed for four months and if 75% of babies in neonatal units were breastfed when they were sent home, more than 3,000 fewer babies would end up in hospital with gastroenteritis, nearly 6,000 fewer babies would be in hospital with respiratory illness, there would be 21,000 fewer visits with babies to GPs for ear infections, and 361 fewer cases of potentially fatal necrotising enterocolitis. The NHS would save more than £17m.

I'll stop engaging with ignorancia now, have stuff to do.

NeedsASock
How on earth does a working mum breast feed during breaks. Can assure you that is not the norm for every other BF mum returning to work ASAP as you put it. Especially if the mother commutes to work. Ie train. Do you work from home? Or in an office maybe? How does that work out. Never known anyone to do that at work. Mind you I was in the city of London where everyones commutes in.
Yes my colleague at work. Its a shame, he's a lovely chap. She changed dramatically after having the baby. We feel very sorry for him. He is the kindest person but she has pushed him away with her baby obsession.

My sister breastfeeds at work. She has been allocated an office to feed in. Her DH brings the baby in once in the morning. She goes home at lunch to feed. Then DH brings baby back in once in the afternoon. She also expresses, but he is not keen on bottles, which makes it trickier. She has a high flying job. She is in Australia, not particularly known for their forward thinking with regard to maternity matters, but she hashed out the terms of her return to work to facilitate her new role as a mother. I admire her tenacity.

Toria
Great if if works. Generally husbands work during the day. If the mother had to commute to work then its quite frankly impossible for 99% of women.
Ive never seen this happen and ive been working for 30 years.

I aranged childcare that would accomadate it and expressed lots.

I am not the only one who does this it is quite normal in the circles I work and move in.

Off the top of my head I can also think of a few other mumsnetters who also BF but returned to work at 2 weeks.

Most of us (the ones I can think of) have offices in London as well as elsewhere it really is quite normal.

Oh and shit husbands and shit dads are not lovely chaps. You have a very oddly set tolerance bar

Needs
Yes Im in the City and never heard of anyone doing it. As you say it does happen.
Re my colleague. How would you know if he was a shit dad or not. Bad comment that was!
He does not get a 'look in' with his baby. Let alone his wife. He is very sad about it all. Thats why he does not want to go home half the time and retreats to the pub. His wife who is lovely has totally changed and is so obsessed with the baby. We all love our kids but this is abnormal. Honestly there is much more than what i have written here. He is a lovely man and very distraught.

So he solves it by not going home and spending all his time in the pub- shit dad

[[http://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2016/jan/28/breastfeeding-could-prevent-800000-child-deaths-lancet-says Breastfeeding could prevent 800,000 child deaths, Lancet says

Breastfeeding at risk from poor government policies, lack of support for mothers and aggressive formula milk industry, research finds]]

Isn't it normal for a mum to be preoccupied with the baby regardless of how she chooses to feed though?

extract from that Guardian article

“In the west, when GDP per capita doubles, breastfeeding rates in children at 12 months drop by 10 percentage points,” said Rollins. “Not breastfeeding is seen as the modern and sophisticated thing to do – it seems convenient, it allows women to get back to work, it’s all the things you want to ‘achieve’. We’ve seen this trajectory with developed countries and don’t want it to play out a second time in low- and middle-income countries.”

Not breastfeeding creates a major burden on the world economy as well, costing $302bn (£210bn) globally in lost earnings, the authors found. Children who are breastfed consistently perform better in intelligence tests – in some studies by as much as seven IQ points – with higher intelligence related to higher average earnings

and on and on...

of course ff babies are clever and healthy too, the research described health impact on a population basis not individual. There is a pretty robust evidence base. the burden should not be placed on mothers though as we get bloody blamed for everything. It's more than ok to ff in the UK but it is not as good a food or experience for the baby as successful bf. I'd say support women adequately, with skilled and free bf counsellor, run a few smart PR campaigns so the general public gets over their prejudices of babies bf in public and have some sound policies in terms of mothers' rights and police the international code for the marketing of breast milk substitutes. this should do.

I honestly think there needs to be more of a focus on the mental impact of breastfeeding. That isn't discussed at all, or isn't where I live and it sounds a comparatively good area for breastfeeding support.

It's all chapped nipples, getting the right latch and mastitis, relevant of course but we're human beings and it's never just about the physical.

flat it sounds like he is paving the way to start an affair on the basis that his selfish wife puts the baby's needs anove his, doesnt understand him and ignores his needs. Head ober to relationships. It is like the scumbag husband script.

do you mean the mental aspect on mothers or babies, or both alis?

Love that anyone who breastfeed a for longer than 2 weeks is obviously obsessed with her baby and it absolutely will break down her marriage because the poor poor neglected husband will have no other option than spending his life in the pub and shagging the barmaid because it's so distressing to watch his wife care for their child

Breastfeeds* not breastfeed a
Stupid phone

Opps my mistake top bloke obviously,poor chap his wife Breast feeds in public and has her time taken up by his baby poor fucking diddums he needs to take refuge in the pub and trash his wife to all his co workers.
Nope even with that slant on it I can't find a positive.

Good job he's not my son I would be doing my utmost to support his wife and making my thoughts about his behaviour quite clear

I think the Flat one is on a wind up, somehow...

Tis interesting, you know, that the US has a higher BF rate than us even though they have absolutely no entitlement to maternity leave. Most mums have to go back to work within six weeks.

Loved the comment on page one about "Perhaps she thought he was seven"