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AIBU?

I found this in my teenage boys coat today[blush]

275 replies

ruthie667 · 26/01/2016 23:50

Not sure whether to take this as a compliment and laugh it off ... or never let him have friends over again lol!!!

I found this in my teenage boys coat today[blush]
OP posts:
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UmbongoUnchained · 27/01/2016 14:17

hiho I didn't take one because my incredible iPhone storage was full again... We left it on the table for BF's husband for when he got home from work. Grin

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Gruntfuttock · 27/01/2016 14:20

Oh dear. Blush I just realised I read "open window" but thought "upper window".

Blush again.

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Furiosa · 27/01/2016 14:21

What if a teenage girl wrote it Bertrand?

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BertrandRussell · 27/01/2016 14:23

But a teenage girl didn't.

If she had, that would be a different issue. Still not funny, though.

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GlitteryShoes · 27/01/2016 14:24

Bertrand, lighten up! And I think teens communicate to each other similarly all the time ( both to the same and opposite sex), but most of them grow out of it and learn mutual respect. One note ( probably meant more to embarrass the son than compliment the mother) does not make a misogynist.

One of my sin's mates had a crush on me when he was about 14. He stole a Christmas card from the local shop for me. I was quite touched. He's a banker now, and has a nice girlfriend. He's not a thief or rapist etc.

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FarrowandBallAche · 27/01/2016 14:24

I'm confused.

Who is it meant to be for?

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MrsJorahMormont · 27/01/2016 14:27

I'll be in my fifties by the time DD is into her teens so if any of her friends ever write a note like that I'll be thrilled :o

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BertrandRussell · 27/01/2016 14:30

Oh, yes. "Lighten up". That old chestnut.

"Only banter" "Can't you take a joke?" "You're overthinking it".......

I could go on.

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Furiosa · 27/01/2016 14:37

Bertrand teenagers of both sexes do this sort of thing. They write and draw explicit (to them) notes and doodles.

It's edgy and illicit. There is no need to assume is a problem. Like another poster said earlier "they're not the full article" or something like that.

I just can't see how anything sinister can be drawn from "Nice tits". It's immature and should be treated as such. I think people saying they would be flattered were joking. No normal person wants that sort of attention from a teenager so it's best brushed of with humour.

I think you're reading too much into this.

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BertrandRussell · 27/01/2016 14:39

Oh, yes. "reading too much into it". That's another one.

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mogchothra · 27/01/2016 14:41

"It'd be up for the next time his friends call round."

Good God, I read that as 'I'd be up for it the next time his friends call round'. 😲

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Alice1983 · 27/01/2016 14:44

Boring Bertrand cant take the excitement anymore. Bertrand, its siesta time for you Wink

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Floggingmolly · 27/01/2016 14:44

I don't get it... How did it end up in your ds's pocket? Surely to God his mate didn't just hand it to him?? I could just about understand it being mildly amusing about a teacher or Mrs. Jones from the next street; but his Mum??

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PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/01/2016 14:48

Furioso, and any others who think this is acceptable, do you think it's ok for an adult male to comment "nice tits", unsolicited, to a random woman? Their colleague, or friend of friend, or just in passing in the street?

I'm guessing you probably wouldn't think it's acceptable and the fact that these are teenagers who will grow up, is the point. They need to be told to treat women, or people if you prefer, respectfully now. They need male role models to show them that this behaviour isn't acceptable and women aren't there to be objectified like this, whether you're 13 or 30. If you have a teenage DD would you like these boys writing notes about her "nice tits"?

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Happyrouter · 27/01/2016 14:51

The fact that people say just laugh it off is the reason this type of behaviour continues into adulthood.

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SalemSaberhagen · 27/01/2016 14:52

Couldn't agree more with Bertrand.

The [ blush] in the thread title is pathetic.

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Diamogs · 27/01/2016 14:53

Teenage girls are just as bad IME.

They all signed each others shirts as Y11 leavers and DS' is covered in jizzing cocks and various filthy comments by the girls.

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Hihohoho1 · 27/01/2016 15:00

purple

But he didn't did he?

Honestly do you know any teenagers?

I am sure mine swore like troopers but not in front of granny or small children.

Dirty jokes among friends are fine. Sexual assaults are not.

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BertrandRussell · 27/01/2016 15:01

As I have said several times- it's not the boys. It's the adult women finding it funny...........

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BertrandRussell · 27/01/2016 15:03

Would you all be fine for your teenage dd's name to be on this note, and for the boys in her class to be talking about her like this?

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Sallystyle · 27/01/2016 15:05

I have teens and I know my 16 year old wouldn't do it. Not because he is an angel but he would be too embarrassed about it. The jazzing cock pictures maybe, but not the nice tits comment about a friend's mother. I am not naive but there is a big difference between drawing cocks and talking about his friend's mum's tits.


As Bert said, it's the women who find it funny that makes me Hmm The drawing is no big deal, the message isn't funny. The 'it's just boys banter' shit is old and depressing. I expect better from mine, they might not always do better but I would be disappointed in them if they had written that note.

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Hihohoho1 · 27/01/2016 15:12

He difference would be if the women told the teenager it was funny!

That's a huge difference.

We laugh at stuff our kids do all the time but not to their faces.

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TJEckleburg · 27/01/2016 15:20

glittery shoes

Can you not see the difference between a teenage boy having a. Crush on you and sending you a Christmas card and one writing notes about you having nice tits? There's no problem with teen boys fancying their mums mates- it's a sweet and normal way for boys to process their feelings. The issue with this note is the way it objectifies women - of any age. I'd be just as horrified if It had been written about a girl of their own age. And whilst we shoudlnt be vilifying young boys who express themselves like this (it's learned behaviour from a society that thinks it's ok to objectify women) we should be challenging them on it so that they grow up knowing it's wrong.

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PurpleHairAndPearls · 27/01/2016 15:21

Hiho I didn't mention sexual assaults. I asked "do you think it's ok for an adult male to comment "nice tits", unsolicited, to a random woman? Their colleague, or friend of friend, or just in passing in the street" Do you think it's ok for adult men to do this?

And yes I do know some teenagers, in fact I have a few of my own. I'd be ashamed if my DS treated a woman like this, whether it was to her face or not. And if my DD was the subject of a note like this I would be very far from happy. How would you feel if your DD was the subject of a note like this?

And before you say it's a different scenario, it isn't, it's just plain old everyday run of the mill widely accepted sexism towards women which I don't think either us or our DDs should accept or our DSs should practise.

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Floggingmolly · 27/01/2016 15:23

Does the fact that your ds was obviously part of this sniggering session not make your skin crawl, op? Hmm. You're his Mum!! And it was about you and your tits
How very very strange to feel charmed by it.

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